Dear Waluigi Time

[Waluigi Time]

Have you ever needed the dubious advice of a cereal magnate to solve life's problems? Is one of your OCs struggling with something and somehow unable to find anyone more qualified to turn to? Do you just like goofy 'Shroom sections? Well good news, The 'Shroom's latest advice column, Dear Waluigi Time, is here, and ready for your questions!

I'll be giving "advice" on about three questions per issue. I will generally be answering only one question per user in a single issue to make it fair, but feel free to submit as many questions as you want at a time. Questions can be submitted from the perspective of yourself, your original character, a character you like, your dog... Just about anyone, really!

I'll try to answer as many questions as I can, although obviously I can't get to everyone right away. If I've decided to completely reject a question, I will inform you and let you know why.

Guidelines:

• Don't submit questions as another user's original character without permission. Mentioning someone else's OC is generally okay, as long as they're not being used in ways the creator wouldn't want.
  • Using a pre-existing character that another user has used as a roleplay is fine, as long as you aren't using their specific portrayal. (Example: A user decides to roleplay as Bugs Bunny in a mafia game. It's okay for you to submit a question as Bugs Bunny, as long as you aren't clearly trying to be that version of the character by referencing other characters or events from that game.)
• Please avoid asking questions as figures that are likely to be controversial. If you're unsure about this, feel free to ask me before submitting.
• Be respectful of real people.
• Remember that this is just a comedic 'Shroom section, and shouldn't be used as a substitute for actual advice. If you have a legitimate problem that you need help with, this isn't the place for it.

If you can't or don't want to submit your questions here on the forums, you can also contact me on my wiki talk page or ping me in the Super Mario Wiki Discord server.

 

[MightyMario]

Dear Waluigi Time,

As a lab mouse with the intent to conquer the world, I sometimes feel the need of hunger more often than usual. Your sickeningly staunch concoction cereal is a great way to curb that hunger.

So, when I become ruler of the Earth, I promise that you will be unrivaled in competition on the shelfs. Everyone will buy Waluigi Time Cereal, the official food of the Brain Republic! You will be a trillionaire and your products will be in every house and home!

What do you say to this deal, Mr. Time? I have to cut this letter short; I’m going to take over the world!

Sincerely yours, the future ruler of planet earth, The Brain.

 

[Waluigi Time]

Dear Waluigi Time,

As a lab mouse with the intent to conquer the world, I sometimes feel the need of hunger more often than usual. Your sickeningly staunch concoction cereal is a great way to curb that hunger.

So, when I become ruler of the Earth, I promise that you will be unrivaled in competition on the shelfs. Everyone will buy Waluigi Time Cereal, the official food of the Brain Republic! You will be a trillionaire and your products will be in every house and home!

What do you say to this deal, Mr. Time? I have to cut this letter short; I’m going to take over the world!

Sincerely yours, the future ruler of planet earth, The Brain.

So to preface this, I will be accepting this question!

That being said, as a general heads up to everyone, I usually can't get much content out of questions that aren't actually asking for advice, so please keep that in mind when submitting. The first issue should give an approximate idea of a good answer length and the sorts of questions I'm aiming for here. With a little creative spin, most ordinary questions can probably be turned into a request for advice, so keep that in mind as well - if anyone needs some help with that I'm happy to work with you on it. I'm letting this particular question slide because I have a pretty good idea of what to do with it already.

 

[MightyMario]

So to preface this, I will be accepting this question!

That being said, as a general heads up to everyone, I usually can't get much content out of questions that aren't actually asking for advice, so please keep that in mind when submitting. The first issue should give an approximate idea of a good answer length and the sorts of questions I'm aiming for here. With a little creative spin, most ordinary questions can probably be turned into a request for advice, so keep that in mind as well - if anyone needs some help with that I'm happy to work with you on it. I'm letting this particular question slide because I have a pretty good idea of what to do with it already.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[CoCo!]

Dear Waluigi Time,
I have a boss who shall not be named that refuses to give me a raise despite my contributions to the company, I mean, I'm upper management for pete's sake! How do you suggest I approach my boss for that raise that I deserve?!
- "Stellar Ranchhand"

 

[MightyMario]

Dear Waluigi Time

I need some advice on playing video games with my girlfriend. Obviously, Cayde loves Mario Kart, but often loses against me. She gets frustrated and storms off after a couple races.

I know that Smart Steering and Auto-Accelerate are options, but I don’t want Cayde to feel pushed along while In a race.

How can I help her get better at Mario Kart and also make it so she doesn’t get angry when she loses?

Sincerely, Zerris H.

 

[Roserade]

Dear Waluigi Time,
Being the subordinate to a crazed mad scientist has its downsides, and I'm feeling that now more than ever. I have to support my people in the Awards Committee, but that requires spending more time out of the office and getting to know my Awards crew. I think my evil boss is starting to feel the distance, I can sense his sadness in the lab. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also need to prioritize for my own life alongside his. What should I do?
-Thorn in Their Sides

 

[homer]

Hi Waluigi Time,

I let my "son" (long story) into my life in an attempt to bond with him, but he's stopped socialising with me, appears at random to watch me in the dark, and sometimes breaks into my house and occupies my favourite chair. What do I do?

- Troubled Paternal Gentleman

 

[Goombuigi]

Dear Waluigi Time,

Ever since I first laid eyes on the sport of bowling, it has been my dream to play bowling myself. However, since I am a Goomba and therefore don't have hands or fingers, I cannot hold a bowling ball, and I was unable to find any Goomba-tailored bowling balls to use. Do you have any recommendations as to how to fix this conundrum?

- Goombuigi