*A letter falls from the sky, dropped off by a passing mail carrier.*
Dear Greasy Drawer,
How's it been? You book another one of those fighters yet? Hah! Who're kidding? You don't need any new talent now that you've got that Delfinian Yoshi!
Me? With my cut from last month, I've taken a cruise down south. Juicy Jungle. Yeah, the kiddos love it. I'm not turning my pockets inside out to buy them popsicl ● es... No sirree... Le ● tting every hard-earne ● d penny... slip out ● ● of my fingers... for some ● ungrateful little- ● ● ● ●
Oh, woah now, where am I going with this? Listen, Waluigi Time, my cracked bowl, ignore the holes I just put in this paper. Even on vacation, your pal Pitoki is looking out for you! Don't reach for that shredder! 'Ey, have I ever failed to deliver? I didn't think so.
I met a guy down here looking for a paying gig. They call him Charlie. There should be a picture somewhere in the envelope, unless those lousy Parakoops lost it. When're they wise up and hire Lakitus instead?
Yeah, that's right. Charlie. Even has a ring name. Chum Chucker. Chum Chucker Charlie. This guy's big. I hear he can take three tackles from a big gorilla before he goes down. All that blubber on him? He's a sure-thing defensive powerhouse if anyone tries to come right at him! I don't know about you, Waluigi Time, kingmaker, but those tusks look pretty sca-aaaary to me. And those fish! He throws those things! Between you and me, I think I can see why he's not moving product. These fish don't keep well in the heat. You can smell him from a mile away. But, hey, that just means they'll be better at keeping his opponent away? When I'm right, I'm right, and you know I'm right!
And this stays between us, capisce? But Charlie here's had it rough. The whole juicing factory here shut down. It's bad. It's real bad. Something something politics, Snowmad empire collapse, I wasn't really paying attention, but Charlie's been out of work for a year now. They've got pigs making pops now! Can you believe it? Pigs! Charlie's stuck with a load of fish he can't move, the ol' husband moved on to greener pastures, and the chum chucking just isn't the chum-chumerrie chum-making time it used to be.
Now, you might not know how much you mean to the little guys, on account of you being a big shot and all, but you're a life-changing pal, my sweet grubbery mascot maker. You picked your pal Pitoki off the ground when the agency sent me packing with the pink sheet. I was on the verge of being out on the streets, and now I'm living the life on a cruise down south. There's one man who can give Charlie a second chance, and it's you. I gave him your address. Expect a letter soon from him.
Oh, and, Waluigi Time, pal, buddy, my floating flake, don't write back. The postage from here is ridiculous. A second letter to you? Do I look made of money?
Your favorite booking agent,
Honio Pitoki
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