Mario versus FanFiction (lotsa images warning)

Maybe, because Mario apparently knows what Star Wars and The Shining is to make those references in the first place (you know, that whole video with Charles Martinet and the "Lukee Imma your Papa" bit.
 
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"Now let's see YOUR sweet smile!"

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"Oh dear!"

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Sure.

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"On second thought, maybe we should... not."

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"Did you call an ambulance?"

No, Merlon said a soup would be better.

"No dear, you eat soup when you've got a cold, not a head injury. Honestly, Merlon always mixes those two things up!"

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Ok? Sure. Let's make a soup out of an object designed to set things on fire. What's next, spaghetti napalmoli?

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Bored of your face now, checking out this DS dealio here instead.

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It's not very entertaining either, though, so back to this conversation.

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"We'll just add a little RUMMMM!

So the grumpy little PLUMMMM-

ber won't look quite so GLUMMMM!

Don't tell me that it's DUMMMM!

Or I'll take this metal spoon

and I'll shove it up your BUMMMM!"

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Holy crap! Why do I have to go on these inane quests when you can just spawn these heart things from your head?

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Yup! That seems safe!

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Might as well get this over with.

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Eat up, Princess!

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

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...whoops.
 
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"I think I just saw a glimpse of heaven..."

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You will have to put massive quotation marks around that "ok", Princess.

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Hell.

Should have stayed with the angels, Princess.

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Please note how nobody is even acknowledging Throwey here, even though he too is a Pixl and should logically be introduced.

This all ties back to how I said that Pixls are just floating abilities. They aren't treated like people, or anything really. They might as well not be there.

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Don't fall for it, Princess. He's always trying to lure people into his house so he can babble at them.

Let's just leave and do our own thing for a whil--

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Goddamn screen transitions!

Also, we ditched the blue guy with the watering can for a head. One would think he'd come along to get some closure regarding that whole girl from the sky ordeal, but the game forgot about him, and so should we.

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Those lucky bastards get to be safe from the bullshit for a few more chapters.

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Note how Peach is concerned for Bowser's safety.

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You just made that up.

Also, I see what you are doing with that quote. By starting the prophecy snippet with a conjunction, you imply that there is more content to that sentence than you're actually showing. Thereby you are attempting to give the illusion that there's this whole coherent work that you're quoting from, without having to actually write any of it.

Except it doesn't work because this generic prophecy is not engaging enough to make me willing to suspend my disbelief. So in the end, you're just creating a very awkward sentence.

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Do we even have to do that? I mean we've already established the path I must take is set in stone and recorded in the prophecy. Just read it and tell me.

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Ugh, not ANOTHER one of you.

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I've had all I can take. Get to the point and let us out of here.

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So we get this key...

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...and Merlon is making a big deal out of it...

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...and how it will help us uncover the secrets of Flipside.

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The lock that this oh so special key opens...

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...is literally across the street right by Merlon's house.

Stop trying to sell this thing as if it's mystical and exciting, Merlon. Unlock your damn gates yourself.
 
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Whatever is out there, it can't be any worse than the monsters I've seen in <-- this direction.

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Man, I sure hate how a lot of game environments are nothing but gray and brown all over.

You can always count on Mario games to make a difference!

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It's amazing how boring this supposedly secret area is. Yes, they managed to make secrets boring.

Maybe the reason for this place being secret is that nobody cares enough to talk about it.

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Heart.

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Pillar.

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Ugly tower.

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Door.

Now that we got that out of the way, we can move on to the next chapter.

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Just kidding! We have to walk all the way back to the tower first.

And just to remind you: You still need to change characters every time you need to flip to 3D while controlling Peach, and it is still annoying.

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Here we go again...
 
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Why put an advisory if no one can't even read that? You know, I thought dimension-flipping was a speshiale power?
 
It's ok. While nobody can actually read that sign, nobody can follow its directions either, so everything makes PERFECT SENSE!
 
Dr. Alphys said:
The lock that this oh so special key opens...

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...is literally across the street right by Merlon's house.

Stop trying to sell this thing as if it's mystical and exciting, Merlon. Unlock your dang gates yourself.[/spoiler]
Click to expand...

Well flipping IS supposed to be a trick not everyone can do, which I don't think Merlon can, but, you know, to hell with that, the game's extremely inconsistent with how special the ability to flip really is.
 
Merlon is an ancient though, just like Bestovius is, and apparently the two are friends. I'd be kind of surprised if Merlon doesn't know how to flip, especially considering how random people seem to be able to pull it off with relative ease, so why not the wise, powerful mage?

Then again it wouldn't be the first time the game doesn't make sense.
 
Why even lock the gates if the power is supposedly limited in the first place? Why even have gates? Who put the gates there? Is it to prevent gate-keeping *bleep*s from slithering out? Is it because some enemies can flip into third dimensions?

And how come these NPCs can apparently interact with the third dimension? You can see, they're at different distances from that wall. Shouldn't they be part of the wall or at least at the same distance?
 
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Ok, so, credit where credit is due: this area actually looks legit pretty. Bonus points for it being a swamp.

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It never is just "up ahead", Tippi. You better commit that to memory soon.

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Trying hard there to sweep the previous entries in the series under the rug, huh?

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Somewhere, Sushie is crying.

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Ok, so there's a drop here and a Paratroopa in the middle.

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This is what you call "closing the cultural gap".

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Suddenly wind turbines.

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Also, more of these things because apparently we just can't get enough of them.

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"Look, I got an army of Marios now!"

Great! Keep them around, maybe you won't get kidnapped as often if you do.

"... >:I"
 
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I found some sort of prison escapee. I'm going to do the reasonable thing:

Walk up and talk to them without a care in the world!

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Wow, this has to be a new record. A single line, and I already dislike you.

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Her face says it all.

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"Somewhere far away from you, preferably."

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What, you mean I'll be forced to interact with annoying characters or something? Don't worry, that's already been happening.

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Yeah... Fun fact: If your first thought when a girl talks to you is something along the lines of "hot girl alert", you don't need to wonder why you're going to stay single forever. No self-respecting woman is going to take that kind of shit, and you only have yourself to blame.

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So does that mean this encounter was foretold in the Light Prognosticus?

"...And it shall transpire that, among the hordes of the bothersome, the Princess shall face one slobbering lech in a prison uniform, and fate demands he shall be an annoying creep!"

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What do you mean "used to"?? I save you basically twice a day.

Oh, I get it. I get knocked out ONE time and Luigi has to step up, and you're already looking for a replacement champion.

I need to get a better job. Maybe look into getting that PhD.

Anyway, this conversation is irritating me. I'm cutting in.

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Why, aren't you just a lovely person all around?

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I've got just the thing to round off that heart-warming personality.

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A warm bowl of soup.

Drink it in! Let your troubles melt away!

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Well, I feel better now, so he probably does too.

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Anyway, moving on. Nice ?-Block.

Don't mind if I do!

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Welp! Join me again next part which, thanks to this flower, will now probably take several months to come out.
 
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Nope.

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There's already enough characters in this game as it is.

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I'm not gonna let there be even more.

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Cue giant chest.

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Gesundheit.

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Oh gee, another one of these things.

What could your purpose be? According to your shape... you're probably a waffle iron.

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Yep! Totally a waffle iron. Nothing else.

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Can't say I can relate. I've been itching to blow everyone and everything up since the start of this journey.

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Whatever boats your moat, dude.

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Get ready for one of them Funny Scenes™.

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Now we're doing a questionnaire with no connection to the current situation whatsoever.

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You know, it's wacky and random, and that automatically means it's funny.

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Ha.

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Deploying self-awareness. We are so random, look at it.

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Really though, it's just a way for the developers to waste your time.

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There's not even a way to personalize your answers, because the options you get are basically "Yes" and "'Yes' wearing underpants on its head".

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Like, if this scene was written competently, you'd get a funny response depending on what answer you picked or something. But here, it doesn't matter what you pick. There is no evaluation of your choices, or anything else to that effect.

You might as well just hammer the button.

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Anyway, get used to your time being wasted. You haven't even seen half of it yet.

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"You are the first person who hasn't punched me in the face for doing that survey spiel! Face-punches are bad vibes!"

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Thanks. I'm sure a waffle iron will come in handy at some point.

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Yeah, better get all those explosion puns out of your system now. Once this scene is over, like every other pixl who isn't Tippi, you will never talk again.
 
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With the help of our new friend Waffles, we can break through this wall.

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...to this hidden treasure chest.

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What the...? These things apparently have souls in them, so why is Whatchitt's here???

I mean, I understand why someone would want to soul trap this asshat, but how did this get here? Did they kick him out of hell? I wouldn't blame them.

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Anyway, it's another one of these. I don't feel like walking around this time, so let's do something else.

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Yes, eyes on me. That's why you lost last time, because you didn't pay attention to me.

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But then it turns out...

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You should never have minded me in the first place!

Sucker!

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Oh, so it's a crappy-looking dodongo. Gotcha!

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Haha! Don't worry, game, we're totally on the same page here. I know what you want me to do. I mean, I just got this new weapon and now you're teaching me to use it. Clever!

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In you go!

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"Ulp.... Ghhhhh..."

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"HURRRK!!!"

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"Bleargh!"

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Random dungeon spaghetti!!!

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And we're outta here!

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We arrive at Merlee's Mansion or whatever. It apparently has a hedge maze? Neat!

Let's check it out!

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Nevermind. This is the least-impressive hedge maze I have ever seen. They could do better ones back in SNES times even.

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Already disappointed. This may either be a bad omen, or very fortunate because without hope the situation can only improve.

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Man, that is one stupid-looking guard dog. It looks like a normal dog wearing a bunch of gift-wrapped cardboard boxes.

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Well, at least the name fits the appearance.

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Oh, so they're nice? Well then, let's be nice right back...

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...by BLOWING IT UP!!!

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Huh... that did... absolutely nothing.

Damnit, Waffles!

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Let's just sneak past then. Whatever.

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Good idea! Leave your crystal ball out in the open like this. It's not like these things are super valuable.

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This door is inaccessible through plain 2D walking. Merlee must be able to flip too.

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We're deeper inside the mansion now.

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Ok, I get it! This is an old building. But WHY are the bricks talking to me??

...Oh wait.

Oh god, you're a person. I'm so sorry, I was inconsiderate for a moment there.

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Yes, this is Mimi, the Bleck minion we've heard about earlier. She is not even bothering to use a pseudonym or doing anything to prevent the player from immediately knowing her identity as the chapter villain.

This could have been a good base for some sort of mystery story where you have to figure out who this maid really is and that she's been manipulating you all this time or something. The setting is pretty fitting for it too: a remote mansion cut off from the rest of civilization, holding many secrets, and a shapeshifter is out for your blood. There's a lot that could be done with this.

But that would be fun. You will soon learn that this chapter has not been designed with fun in mind.

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I could also call you brick face. I think you will prefer we stick to "Mimi".

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Not really. Actually I just want the MacGuffin.

Say, you're the one who does the cleaning around here, right? You probably know where the thing is, can't you just give it to me?

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Is that the crapper? I don't really want to see her there if it is.

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Don't worry, I won't do that. By which I mean me entering those rooms will not be an accident.

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There's another one of these dog things. This one's not only wearing cardboard boxes, he also has a bunch of traffic cones glued to them.

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How do you know the person was mean? How do you know the circumstances in which this happened? I mean, this thing could be rabid for all we know.

You have already played this game before, haven't you?

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Tippi is talking favorably about Gnaw here, and calls him a good dog. Keep that in mind for later.

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In any case, let's start exploring some of these ro-- MUSHROOM!!!
 
Btw this is a great 3 AM read, if you're ever up late and you can't sleep.
 
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Oh my god, a mushroom! I didn't have a good mushroom in like, what, 10 minutes? That's unbearable!

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Give me that mushroom!

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You give me this mushroom RIGHT NOW!!!

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GIVE ME THAT! I'll... I'LL KILL YOU, AGH!!!

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...

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...

There are some things you just... don't DO to a person!

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You have crossed the line!

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Someone has to pay!

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Everyone in this room...

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...turns to ashes.

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...

Well that was cathartic. Let's check out the other rooms then.

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Another trap.

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...and another.

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Welp, last room! This one's the one Merlee is supposedly in.

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Hey, it's a button! I wonder what this will do!

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It activates a trap! Oh noes!

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I love how you bothered to bar up the windows, but then left the door unlocked so I can just walk out.

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I think SOMEONE owes me some answers!
 
let me guess

flip to 3d to get to merlees room even though it shouldnt exist since mario should be the only one who can perceive 3d
 
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