What's the worst kart/bike in Mario Kart history?

SuperShyGuy

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So, I was playing some good ol' Mario Kart Wii and I was thinking;
What's the worst vehicle in Mario Kart history?
This will not include the karts from the first 3 games, since their basically all the same.

Mario Kart Wii:
Kart: Jetsetter
Bike: Bit Bike
Mario Kart: Double Dash!!:
Kart: Koopa King
Mario Kart 7 (I have no opinion on the worst kart for this game).
Mario Kart 8/DX:
B Dasher (Downloadable. Unlocked in DX by collecting coins.)
 

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
For me, the worst karts in Double Dash are the Para Wing, Goo Goo Buggy, Toadette Kart, and Bullet Blaster. The first three vehicles are the slowest vehicles in the game, and the fourth one is the lightest. For DS, the worst vehicle is the Banisher because it's the slowest vehicle in the game. For Wii, the worst vehicles are the Booster Seat and Bit Bike for the same reason as the Banisher, and they're the second lightest kart and bike in the game respectively. I have no idea what the worst vehicle is for Mario Kart 7 or Mario Kart 8.
 
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MnSG

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For Mario Kart Double Dash!!, you could argue that the Bullet Blaster is among the worst karts in that game, since despite having good speed and average acceleration, it easily gets pushed around by all the other karts, and its off-road is atrocious. Compare that to the Barrel Train, where despite having worse acceleration than the Bullet Blaster, it's significantly more potent overall.

For Mario Kart Wii, the Jetsetter and Spear would come to mind, since despite their weight and being the fastest kart and bike in the game, their other stats are quite bad, making them very poor choices for the more advanced tracks.

For Mario Kart 7, the Slick and Gold Tires have bad handling AND bad off-road, which is not a good combination for a pair of tires that are slightly faster than the Monster and Red Monster.

For Mario Kart 8, there's really no practical reason to use the Monster and Hot Monster, since the Metal and Gold Tires offer the same weight boost, and have fewer weaknesses overall. Don't have anything to say for the vehicle bodies though, since pretty much all of them are viable in their own right (even the likes of the Steel Driver, Tri-Speeder, Badwagon, GLA, and Standard ATV).

Lastly, for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, very few parts in that game have any real viability. But the biggest offenders are the Sneeker, Gold Standard, and Master Cycle, as they have far more negatives than positives.
 

Ultra Violet

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The Yoshi Bike looks like it's crapping out a turd and how its colored orange certainly doesn't help. Use the Comet instead, much better designed bike, for 8 Dx. In 8U, use the Jet Bike, Sport Bike, or Comet because they're much better designed.

I abhor the design of the Super Blooper. They just took a Blooper and put wheels on it and it looks utterly hideous.

But I think the worst designed car is Mario's Shooting Star from Mario Kart DS.


Like, did they even TRY to make this look like a vehicle? Wow it's a 3d model of a generic shooting star, slap from wheels on it and call it a day.
 

Striker Mario

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You want my opinions on kart aesthetics, you can check out this mammoth tier list thread with images all whack and I can't even adjust their sizes because my post would exceed the image limit. You're welcome.

 

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
For Mario Kart Double Dash!!, you could argue that the Bullet Blaster is among the worst karts in that game, since despite having good speed and average acceleration, it easily gets pushed around by all the other karts, and its off-road is atrocious. Compare that to the Barrel Train, where despite having worse acceleration than the Bullet Blaster, it's significantly more potent overall.

For Mario Kart Wii, the Jetsetter and Spear would come to mind, since despite their weight and being the fastest kart and bike in the game, their other stats are quite bad, making them very poor choices for the more advanced tracks.

For Mario Kart 7, the Slick and Gold Tires have bad handling AND bad off-road, which is not a good combination for a pair of tires that are slightly faster than the Monster and Red Monster.

For Mario Kart 8, there's really no practical reason to use the Monster and Hot Monster, since the Metal and Gold Tires offer the same weight boost, and have fewer weaknesses overall. Don't have anything to say for the vehicle bodies though, since pretty much all of them are viable in their own right (even the likes of the Steel Driver, Tri-Speeder, Badwagon, GLA, and Standard ATV).

Lastly, for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, very few parts in that game have any real viability. But the biggest offenders are the Sneeker, Gold Standard, and Master Cycle, as they have far more negatives than positives.
The Phantom could be an honorable mention for Mario Kart Wii, since it has the worst drift in the game and drifts outward, making it hard to control. Also, as I've said in my rely, the Bit Bike and Booster Seat are not only slow as molasses, but they're also light as a feather, making them my least favorite Mario Kart Wii vehicles.
 

MnSG

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The Phantom could be an honorable mention for Mario Kart Wii, since it has the worst drift in the game and drifts outward, making it hard to control. Also, as I've said in my rely, the Bit Bike and Booster Seat are not only slow as molasses, but they're also light as a feather, making them my least favorite Mario Kart Wii vehicles.
The Phantom may have the worst drifting of all Mario Kart Wii vehicles, but its other stats are well-balanced, and its high off-road compensates for that abysmal drift stat. Frankly, the main challenge with that bike is just getting used to outside drifting, but it's not the worst vehicle out there; more around average on my end.

In regards to the Booster Seat and Bit Bike, they may be light and among the slowest Mario Kart Wii vehicles, but their other stats are potent enough that they're viable for beginners. Just don't get stuck in crowds.

Anyway, the way I see it, low top speed doesn't necessarily mean terrible, since the faster vehicles can be plagued by weaknesses that are more detrimental.
 

Shy Guy on Wheels

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For Mario Kart Wii, the Jetsetter and Spear would come to mind, since despite their weight and being the fastest kart and bike in the game, their other stats are quite bad, making them very poor choices for the more advanced tracks.
spear has inside drift, and as it's the fastest of all the inside drifting bikes, it gets used a fair bit in competitive play. I'd say it's the third best in the game, behind the Mach Bike and Flame Rider/Bowser Bike.

Phantom on the other hand? It's lacking in the two main stats (drift and speed, the former much more so then the latter), and is also outside drift. Sure it's other stats might be okay, but they also don't matter (when is Handling ever relevant when you have Drift? Acceleceration is made useless entirely by the standstill mini-turbos, you don't want to go in the Off-Road in the first place so the gains from that are barely worth anything. The other two stats are slightly cool, but still not enough to be good when you're lacking in the two most importatnt stats).

and its high off-road compensates for that abysmal drift stat.
what kind of logic are you using here? No, a useless stat does not make up for not having the second most important stat in the game, and it never will.
 
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Koopa con Carne

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The Yoshi Bike looks like it's crapping out a turd and how its colored orange certainly doesn't help. Use the Comet instead, much better designed bike, for 8 Dx. In 8U, use the Jet Bike, Sport Bike, or Comet because they're much better designed.

I abhor the design of the Super Blooper. They just took a Blooper and put wheels on it and it looks utterly hideous.

But I think the worst designed car is Mario's Shooting Star from Mario Kart DS.


Like, did they even TRY to make this look like a vehicle? Wow it's a 3d model of a generic shooting star, slap from wheels on it and call it a day.
Mario Kart DS karts are this thread's low-hanging fruit.


Dishonourable mentions: Rambi Rider, Dry Bomber (it's... a tank...), Gold Mantis.
 
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DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
spear has inside drift, and as it's the fastest of all the inside drifting bikes, it gets used a fair bit in competitive play. I'd say it's the third best in the game, behind the Mach Bike and Flame Rider/Bowser Bike.

Phantom on the other hand? It's lacking in the two main stats (drift and speed, the former much more so then the latter), and is also outside drift. Sure it's other stats might be okay, but they also don't matter (when is Handling ever relevant when you have Drift? Acceleceration is made useless entirely by the standstill mini-turbos, you don't want to go in the Off-Road in the first place so the gains from that are barely worth anything. The other two stats are slightly cool, but still not enough to be good when you're lacking in the two most importatnt stats).


what kind of logic are you using here? No, a useless stat does not make up for not having the second most important stat in the game, and it never will.
Oh, I find Drift to be the third most important stat. Speed and Weight are the two most important stats, and the Bit Bike and Booster Seat fail with these two stats. They're the slowest vehicles in the game. The former is the second lightest vehicle in the game, and the latter is the second lightest kart in the game. Also, their best stat is the least important stat: Handling. At least the Phantom has average speed and a good weight stat. The Cheep Charger has the same weaknesses as the Bit Bike and Booster Seat, but at least it's faster and has better drift.
 
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DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
Anyway, the way I see it, low top speed doesn't necessarily mean terrible, since the faster vehicles can be plagued by weaknesses that are more detrimental.
Low top speed alone may not make a vehicle terrible as is the case with the Wario Bike and Offroader since they both have a high weight stat, but combine it with low weight and/or low drift, and it's likely to be pretty bad. Acceleration is made useless by the existence of standstill mini-turbos, and Handling barely matters at all since you'll be drifting.
 

Striker Mario

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The problem with handling and acceleration I think has to do with Mario Kart just being too damn slow. If you notch up the speed like in Mario Kart 8, you find that some turns that were piss easy to corner in 150cc now actually force you to take wider turns and so lighter weights can actually take better racing lines.

I'd like to see what happens if start line mini turbo was completely axed too so heavier assholes always start at a disadvantage.

Finally Mario Kart Wii's standstill miniturbo was a big mistake and shouldn't have ever been introduced.
 

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
Finally Mario Kart Wii's standstill miniturbo was a big mistake and shouldn't have ever been introduced.
The Mega Mushroom, POW Block, and Thunder Cloud are also huge mistakes that almost singlehandedly ruin Mario Kart Wii, but thankfully, none of those items have returned in a future installment. Mario Kart Wii should have been the game to introduce the Fire Flower and Super Leaf, but we had to wait until Mario Kart 7 for those items to come. Nintendo could have also included the Super Horn to destroy the Blue Shell in Wii and brought back the Boo, and if that were to happen, we wouldn't have to wait until Mario Kart 8 and 8 Deluxe for that to happen.
 
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Striker Mario

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Oh no I think those items are w/e. I do kinda want Mega Mushroom back but Mario Kart Wii feels pretty infamous for introducing a lot of item abuse. Falling off was a far bigger penalty, you lose your item if you hold one out and get hit, Stars were faster and knocked you out harder. But hey bananas hardly did anything and there's no blasted coin when instead you got a fake box and curse that one instead as a red shell eventually hits you.

Triple bananas in first place should go to hell though.
 

Ultra Violet

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Mario Kart DS karts are this thread's low-hanging fruit.
Not really. Some of Mario Kart DS's vehicles look neat like the Dry Bomber, Zipper, Power Flower, or the Streamliner, and the Hurricane is one of my all-time favorite vehicles because it's shaped like a plane. They can have good designs. The Shooting Star isn't one of them.

As my sister said, though, a lot of fault in Mario Kart lies in its extremely sluggish speed. Compared to plenty of other racing games I've played, it's one of the slowest out there, so taking turns is extremely easy no matter what vehicle you're using. I do suppose there are bumps on the road if you use something like a Jetsetter, but I feel like the Jetsetter is the vehicle that's actually pretty balanced: you are sacrificing everything else for speed, but it doesn't help that it's outclassed by other vehicles who shouldn't turn nor drift as well as they do.

You can make high speed, high mini-turbo vehicles balanced, but Mario Kart isn't how you do them. Something like Sonic Robo Blast 2 Kart where you can actually find yourself going offroad or hitting walls if you use the highest speed, lowest handling combo is what a high risk, high payoff vehicle should look like instead of being the safest option in the game.
 

MnSG

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spear has inside drift, and as it's the fastest of all the inside drifting bikes, it gets used a fair bit in competitive play. I'd say it's the third best in the game, behind the Mach Bike and Flame Rider/Bowser Bike.
It is worth noting that while the Dolphin Dasher may have the worst inside drifting of all the Mario Kart Wii bikes, it actually does a better job of handling the sharp turns than the Spear. You have to be a racing ace to handle the Spear, because its abysmal overall stats can really hold it back on the harder tracks; more often than not, you're better off using the Bullet Bike, Mach Bike, or Flame Runner if you need speed.

what kind of logic are you using here? No, a useless stat does not make up for not having the second most important stat in the game, and it never will.
Well, if you get knocked off-road, you'll be hindered a lot more from a poor off-road stat. High off-road means that you can afford to take off-road shortcuts without worrying about losing your drift; a notable reason for why you shouldn't turn a blind eye on the Magikruiser and Dolphin Dasher. Also, of all the large vehicles in Mario Kart Wii, only the Phantom and Dry Bowser's Wario Bike can drift on normal off-road.
 

TerminalKirby

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Wait, let's repeat what I said again,
What's the worst
It says what's the worst, so it could be a list like I said in the first post or something else.
Either way, I have an announcement to make that will shock you.
The Phantom has the worst drift stat in Mario Kart Wii, yes, that's right.
D R I F T I N G.
ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL STATS IN THE GAME.
 
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