Your headcanons

I'm sure the retcon for the Koopalings roots, at lest in part, in how them and Bowser Jr. being Bowser's biologcial children just wouldn't be family-friendly enough according to their owners. When you take Bowser having 8 really different looking children combined with him obviously having a romantic interest in Peach, it's not hard to get the impression of harems and concubines (since Bowser has never been shown with a wife).
 
As a kid, I was a firm believer that the Koopalings were Bowser's adopted kids. I always thought it would be really nice of Bowser to soften up and take in a bunch of orphans and raise them as his own. I still think it would've been a good storyline, but I really don't think that they are his kids in any fashion anymore. They're minions and minions only (although they are among the highest-ranking). Dialogue from recent games, particularly the latest Mario and Luigi games, suggests that there is no parent-child relationship between Bowser and the Koopalings whatsoever. They refer to him as "Lord Bowser" or "Boss" formally, or simply "Bowser" if they're talking casually amongst themselves. This line really sells it:

Bowser is just their boss, and there is no sibling relationship between them and Bowser Jr!

Even when Bowser addresses them in recent games, he always addresses them as a group, as if they were just a squad of minions. Additionally, he always has the same commanding tone he uses when speaking to all his other minions. He completely lacks any of the softness he has when talking to Jr
(unless, of course, he's talking to them about Jr).

Technically speaking, we've never seen any written Koopaling dialogue in the main series since before Sunshine. If ever. So there is a little bit of wiggle room if you want to argue against the canonicity of the M&L series. However, given all the other juicy lore that can be found in that series, it would be a detriment to the Marioverse to consider it non-canon.

As much as I'd like to believe it, I just can't anymore. The facts don't lie.

Eh, to play devil's advocate, most other official material is neutral or suggests both IIRC. I honestly feel like there's no harm in picking and choosing what you like most. In fact, I even feel like that aspect of the series is intentional to an extent. It's not like the plot of Mario is all that intricate anyways. I personally just ignore what M & L implies about their relationship.

(I do greatly agree it would be detrimental and pointless to consider Mario & Luigi (as well as most of the other non-mainline games, TBH), non-canon, especially since there's really nothing to suggest they are.
 
(I do greatly agree it would be detrimental and pointless to consider Mario & Luigi (as well as most of the other non-mainline games, TBH), non-canon, especially since there's really nothing to suggest they are.

Yeah, Mario games are on a sort of a "Floating Timeline", where there's no real order in which the games come in (except when it's explicitly stated, Like in Mario & Luigi or the Luigi's Mansion games)
 
I'm sure the retcon for the Koopalings roots, at lest in part, in how them and Bowser Jr. being Bowser's biologcial children just wouldn't be family-friendly enough according to their owners. When you take Bowser having 8 really different looking children combined with him obviously having a romantic interest in Peach, it's not hard to get the impression of harems and concubines (since Bowser has never been shown with a wife).
Yeah, now that you mention it, it wouldn't make sense in the family-friendly way for Bowser to continue to kidnap Peach, if he were a real dad...

Wait a second.. Junior?
 
Now I headcanon Baby Bowser is too heavy for the stork and must be carried by Kamek's minions, and all the obstacles & enemies are Baby Bowser mischievously getting himself into danger
 
I picture Bowser being the type to have 2-3 new girls in bed every week, so even if i don't subscribe to that theory, I DO see where people are coming from with multiple mothers, XD (even if obviously Nintendo's not going to straight up say that in an E for everyone game). Honestly, I bet most girls drop their panties at the sight of him... well, except the only one he actually wants (Peach, obviosuly). Sorta like a villainous Brock Samson.

Man it must suck to be Bowser.

Edit: Aw shit, this sounds way more wrong than it did in my head.
 
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Ngl, I think that's a weird view on how women think.

Makes me uncomfortable because it echoes rhetoric in particular circles and I don't want to go down that path discussing that.
 
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Ngl, I think that's a weird view on how women think.

Makes me uncomfortable because it echoes rhetoric in particular circles and I don't want to go down that path

Sorry. I just wanted to use a silly hyperbole (and reference a TV show). I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
 
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Gooigi would be best friends with Metal Mario as both are pretty much indestructible, have distorted warbly voices, and aren't scared of anything, not even jumpscares of gargoyle face/emoji in drawers phases him.

The weird stuff Luigi finds in Mario, Peach, and Toad's looted rooms and bathrooms are actually their stuff, and they just have weird dietary habits. Yellow Toad has a weird fashion sense.

Mario packed only slippers, which is why his luggage that got destroyed has nothing inside, and the drawers also have pretty much nothing inside.
 
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Yeah, now that you mention it, it wouldn't make sense in the family-friendly way for Bowser to continue to kidnap Peach, if he were a real dad...

Wait a second.. Junior?

Maybe, but not necessarily. "Family-friendly" doesn't only have to cater to nuclear families. There are a lot of single parents out there who seek new love after a divorce or the death of their spouse. Bowser just has a very, uh, direct way of showing his love for Peach.
 
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