Fellas, you know we're voting for the killers, right? It's not actually the 'sexiest stache' award, haha.
Ohhh, that's...that's a lotta votes. Oh you guys are serious about this.
Well, that's fine; the Lash doesn't like others taking credit for his work. Thaaaat being said..."a cowardly attempt", "whoever did this is going to super hell"...ohhhh-hoho, you want me to play the
heel, don'tcha? Bring it on, I'm used to being hated.
I know you all loved Frosty. Truth be told, I respected him too - that was a dude who got shit
done. But legends don't get to choose how they die. Sometimes they go out in a blaze of glory, sometimes they choke to death on their own vomit in a strip club bathroom. And sometimes, they -
wha-ping! - get bashed over the head with a telescope and thrown in front of the pain train. So spare me your sermons about this being a scumbag kill, like there's so much honor in
blowing a guy up with an improvised bomb. You know what we call guys who fight with honor in the Bear Pit?
Losers.
But hey, it's not all bad. You bookworms are pretty good at this whole investigating thing - good enough to survive without the Lash's guidance. I know, I know, hold your tears. I left y'all a li'l present in the fountain; couldn't get the damn thing to work myself. I think it changes shape based on its owner or something, but it didn't actually function like a grappling hook, so it might just be cosmetic. Maybe one of you nerds can figure it out.
Oh, and Tan-Man...do your worst. I'm ready for it. But you? You gonna grow some balls or just keep letting people
use you forever?