Mario pictures

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If this was 2007, Mario would have been instantly decapitated, his head buried 10m in the ground as Peach shrieked in horror and grief at the fountain of blood set in motion by the football.

But of course those man dates or whatever they're called had to proscribe that.
 
Provided Dorkly didn't beat to them first. You know your situation is just their idea of peak parody comedy. You should work for them.