Your headcanons

Flat Eric

Bruce Willis Is Dead
Wario is an entrepreneur. While working at his businesses he is a formal and smart. While he has a bad temper, he is often able to keep it in check. The brash and cocky personality he has is one he only puts on when around his friends, such as the Mario Bros. and Waluigi. While he was a treasure hunter in his past, he now has no need for it, as he used the money he gained from it to fund his more profitable business ventures. How many? Well he has:
-Two Stadiums
-A Gold Mine
-A Scrapyard for ships
-A Dam and a Ski Resort
While still having enough spare money to buy an entire colosseum.

Essentially Wario is the embodiment of the American Dream.

Related to this, there was an incident in the Mushroom Kingdom's past where many people bought ships , but then the Kingdom had an overabundance of them, making them almost worthless, while making scrapyard dedicated entirely to getting rid of ships highly profitable. This explains why Wario would own one of these.

My Random Themes theme

Extreme pollination and total domination!
I'm assuming you just counted the platformers. But did you count how many times per platformer? She gets kidnapped twice in 3D Land for example.
Really? I don't remember that...

Well, I did realize I missed Super Mario Run and probably a few others, but no, I didn't just count the platformers.

My Random Themes theme

Extreme pollination and total domination!
Eh, it's close.

My Random Themes theme

Extreme pollination and total domination!
I mean that's the number of times she was captured ON-SCREEN.

Haha look guys I just made it harder on you.
Aw come on! Fine. I'll do a total count later.


Dancing is Forbidden!
Seeing as Super Mario: The Lost Levels is an alternate universe version of Super Mario Bros the original, I'd like to imagine that in that alternate universe, their versions of Mario and Luigi have also gone through harder "Lost Levels" versions of the other games or at least the main platformers. Like, Super Mario Bros 3: The Lost Levels, Super Mario World: The Lost Levels, etc.

Caesar A. Zeppeli

These are the utmost grand of days!
Mimi has to puke out a rupee per day if she doesn't use her spider form that day or else the rupees her body produces will get backed up and she will die.

Mimi also has to eat flesh every now and then or else her spider form would get out of control

The first three paper mario games happened in the real world while sticker star, color splash, and origami king happened in the book world. this is why paper jam had little to no mention of previous paper mario games beside sticker star, and why the paperverse now is very craft related, it always has been, but nintendo took the style before they took the actual stories from the book.

Oh, and yeah, i have a big headcanon on how nintendo basically contacts the marioverse and shit, i'm too lazy to write it out rn.


(she/her) actual spore creature
we wont see cranky kong being a ghost any time soon (as far as im aware) literally because hes too stubborn to die. he will live as long as video games are around
on the topic of that he is secretly the best gamer in the mario verse. youre a competitive esports player? a top speedrunner? something else i couldnt think of? sorry cranky can beat you in both if he bothered to play with/against you

Mario Party X

🎊Party over here, f🎆ck you over there!!🎊
Maybe Cranky could but there's no knowing how well he'd beat them or what's his strategy because he wouldn't be bothered to play e sports, as that's too recent.


Dancing is Forbidden!
Not mine but my friend says Wario is a heavy smoker (like smokes backwoods til his chest hurts).


(she/her) actual spore creature
much better take at the koopa phylogenetic tree i made .. last year (i thought i made it earlier than that). beware of a huge speculative biology headcanon dump!

the common ancestor of yoshis, birdos and rexes had a reduced shell. rexes and birdos have lost it entirely
snooza koopas arent much related to all the other koopas, having flippers and such. theyre highly adapted to swimming like turtles.
having a smooth, non-segmented shell is a particular trait of the quadrupeds, but has evolved independently in some bipeds like lakitu too. i feel like it might be a trait the immature koopas in particular have, considering koopalings have smooth shells and bowser has a segmented one, but the issue with that is that bowser jr has it segmented too. could be an effect of the royal jelly kinda magic?
the common ancestor of quadrupeds and bipeds might have resembled a standard koopa troopa a lot, but most species heavily diverged from there, besides bombshell koopas and troopas themselves
the common ancestor of spikes and buzzy beetles had spiked shells, but buzzies slowly lost them, with spike tops retaining one singular spike and the other beetles deriving from them
bipedality evolved independently multiple times in spikes, koopa troopas, and the other bipedal koopas. technically quadrupedal koopa troopas would go under the bipeds still and theyre the same genus as the bipedal koopa troopas
lakitus are actually closer related to chargin chucks and the squishy snouted ones compared to the magikoopas which still have beaked snouts like troopas
most species have hair (highly modified feathers, basically a very colorful and flexible rachis), some usually having it, some bald by default but hair is a common occurence, and some are entirely bald with exceptions being super duper rare! yoshis have this kinda hair too
amazing flyin hammer bro is either another species of the bros or are closely related to sumo bros i just realised i forgot to put them in there
the most notable trait of the bowsers species is their shell became completely attached to their back and non-removable, having squishy ribbed plates instead of the plastron.
weve got a lotta convergent evolution going on here! bipedality, spiked shells, smooth shells,'Shroom:Issue_64/Theoretical_Macroevolution_of_Koopas walkazo's (bless her) take on something like this is honestly better thought out than mine and super duper interesting too please chekc this out too, but i still wanted to make my own! i think it would be interesting to see different perspectives on this