Peer review thread

Koopa con Carne

Owns 3 versions of the same game 💊💊💊
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Koopa con Carne
Occasionally, I request certain users to review my wiki contributions in private. However, I find this procedure to be a bit invasive and selective.

I'm opening this thread because I see some use in giving wiki editors a chance to learn from their mistakes through the volunteering engagement and constructive criticism of other users.

To start, certain parts in this section I added to the Virus page sound perpetually stupid. With a total of 11 edits in the article's log, I'm still not fully satisfied with it, and am requesting opinions of how logical and coherent it is in its current state.

Throughout the Dr. Mario series, the three red, blue, and yellow viruses are shown to be a bit misbehaving, dancing beside the play board as if to mock the player. The Virus Vid series often portrays them as being too bumbling and incompetent to cooperate towards a common goal ("they never seem to get together"), but being otherwise fond of each other's company ("…but they do seem to get along, somehow"). The official Dr. Mario World Twitter and Facebook accounts, where announcements and updates related to the game are communicated in person by the aforementioned three viruses, provides some individual characterization. Yellow is shown to have a proclivity for snacks[3][4] and a tendency to daydream and prattle about wings,[5][6] to Red's bemusement.[7] Red secretly wishes to be popular, and when Yellow makes his secret public, he does not object, confidently stating that he is already popular due to his "eye-catching color".[8] In addition, Blue suggests that Red is a poor planner.[9]

Red, Blue, and Yellow are not gregarious with other characters. In their above-mentioned social media presence, they often express fear when announcing the arrival of a new doctor, uttering pleas such as "Please take it easy on me".[10][11] Blue claims to be terrified of children when he announces Dr. Baby Peach.[12] In a June 12, 2020 post, Yellow announced an in-game event where 20 of the then-available 21 doctors had their staffing rates increased by 1.5[13][14], with the omitted doctor being Dr. Waluigi[15]; the virus indicates in the post that said doctor was left out because they particularly do not get along.
 
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Ray Trace

Friendly, outdoorsy, and subject to torture.
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Poll Committee
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Ray Trace
For the first sentence, I'd change "to be a bit misbehaving" to "mischievous". So

Throughout the Dr. Mario series, the three red, blue, and yellow viruses are shown to be mischievous, dancing beside the play board as if to mock the player.
For the second sentence, i'd merge the quoted parts together so it flows and you have the complete context of that quote. I also would shorten "cooperate towards a common goal" as just "cooperative" as that phrase sounds a bit redundant.

The Virus Vid series often portrays them as being too bumbling and incompetent to be cooperative, but being otherwise fond of each other's company ("they never seem to get together…but they do seem to get along, somehow").
I'm not seeing much issues with the rest of your writing. Some words sound a bit jargony such as using "proclivity for snacks" describing a fondness for them or calling them "not gregarious with other characters" but idk in my opinion maybe some MarioWiki readers can learn some new vocabulary.
 

Koopa con Carne

Owns 3 versions of the same game 💊💊💊
MarioWiki
Koopa con Carne
"Mischievous" was actually used in an earlier revision, but I dropped it once I learned Oxford's dictionaries describe it as:

or

which i didn't think "dancing to mock you" would illustrate so well, since it's not a truly harmful act in any capacity. However, there is room for interpretation and I'm taking your word for it.

Thank you so much for your response. The paragraph has been once again amended to reflect your observations.
 
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Striker Mario Boogaloo

You're gonna need a pair of balls AND ovaries⚽
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Bazooka Mario
Ahh context matters. You can do mischief without actually harming people, and people can even play along. It's like playfulness with intent to annoy too or tease. I'm mischievous when I disrupt your talk page with Warios for instance. That April Fools MarioWiki is mischief
 
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