64-Bit Nintendo Machine
64 Bits of Power!
All the Mario Kart games are good, but some are not as good as others. Which one got you pissed about it?
What is the worst Mario Kart game?
- Thread starter 64-Bit Nintendo Machine
- Start date
- Pronouns
- she/her
- MarioWiki
- Mario
Only one of them is an exploitative glorified gambling for kids where...
- most content requires rng to get and is infested with dupes
- most content is already recycled from legacy games
- new worthwhile content is gated behind really lucky roll chances
- the economy is plagued with the bog standard standard worthless currency and premium currency that is available only in bundles sometimes costing way more than a full-fledged console game.
- one character that the series is named after has costed $20 or requires hours of hours of grinding
- the secondary character wasn't in the base game despite being in the beta
- the Battle Pass subscription is horrid and it's also a way for people to basically pay Nintendo for beta testing for a basic feature
- its controls are abysmal and the railroad auto-trick gameplay is just extremely unrewarding
- it's a single player experience that actively tricks people into thinking they're racing with other humans and helps people engage with the game since they think they're good at it.
- it tried skirting strict gambling laws but was fortunately banned in Belgium
Last edited:
- Pronouns
- She/her He/him
To add onto points said about Mario Kart Tour, it's a game developed by Nintendo that follows rather than leads anything. It's Nintendo we're talking about, the publishers behind fantastic games on the Switch, proving you don't need aggressive monetization on premium 60 dollar games to be successful and widely popular, yet on mobile, they stick with the same tired multiple currency systems and grinding to prey on your wallet, being just another greed-economy game on a market flooded with them.
This is especially jarring when we have plenty of fantastic mobile games that are successful and DON'T use the stupid gacha economy. Nintendo tried with Super Mario Run, but even though it sold 60 million dollars and was profitable, it wasn't profitable enough for them, not at least compared to Fire Emblem Heroes, so that's when they ditched the one-time fee and got this shit system we have today. And yeah, unfortunately, Mario Kart Tour generated over 30 million dollars already so fuck that game.
This is especially jarring when we have plenty of fantastic mobile games that are successful and DON'T use the stupid gacha economy. Nintendo tried with Super Mario Run, but even though it sold 60 million dollars and was profitable, it wasn't profitable enough for them, not at least compared to Fire Emblem Heroes, so that's when they ditched the one-time fee and got this shit system we have today. And yeah, unfortunately, Mario Kart Tour generated over 30 million dollars already so fuck that game.
Toadettefan
Avatar Credit to Goombuigi
- Pronouns
- She/her
Tour. Enough said.
- Pronouns
- she/her
- MarioWiki
- Mario
You can vote Tour and then just disqualify it in your comments.
Mario Kart 64 would be my pick for second worst Mario Kart game. The gameplay is horrible as well. The course layout is okay, but it really pales with the contemporary Nintendo 64 racers including Diddy Kong Racing. It's home to some of the worst tracks in the series though being Sherbet Land, Banshee Boardwalk, Rainbow Road, and Yoshi Valley. The characters, being prerendered sprites, look ugly as sin. The trophy cutscene takes forever to complete and it's totally unskippable. The gameplay is horrendous, as the karts are slippery, drifting is weird to manage, and there's no indication you've drift-boosted aside from a character making stupid noises and the engine sounding higher pitched briefly. The items are relentless as even a hit from a green shell will stop you dead in your tracks for several seconds as you fly several miles into the air and bounce several times and your acceleration hits zero. The bananas also stop you cold too. Green Shells also take forever to expire (and the AI doesn't throw any shells) so things you fire can end up hitting you on the 2nd lap.
The AI might not have any access to shells whatsoever but their rubber banding is infamous. It's broken in a bad way. You hit an enemy with an OP Green Shell, they will rapidly rebound. But the AI can get ridiculously far ahead and even a shell won't stop them, they don't even fly in the air as they're supposed to. That's *if* you manage to hit them with a red shell as red shells are atrocious in this game, where you shoot them and they meander into a straight line before homing in an enemy, and they tend to crash into obstacles or completely miss. The physics are also stupidly broken, as steep cliffs can stop you cold and the character makes a noise unique to it. The weight mechanic also sucks ass especially since you start 8th, so boosting makes you smack into some fatass heavyweight in front of you.
The item system is interesting though, I give you that. 2nd place thunderbolts and 1st place Super Mushrooms are fun I guess.
The character stats are positively broken too. It's just stupid that middleweights accelerate slower than heavyweights yet have the same speed as heavyweights.
The game's content isn't even that great when you see its competition like Diddy Kong Racing. All you get are just some tracks, a barren battle mode, and time trials, and that's it. It's bare bones, which is a recurring problem in this series/
Best thing about the game would be the announcer and the cute character select screen with fluid prerendered animation, which just is nostalgic for me.
It also has one of the best reward title screens too
And finally that noise when you hit someone with a dragging banana bunch is some of the most satisfying moments in that game.
Mario Kart 64 would be my pick for second worst Mario Kart game. The gameplay is horrible as well. The course layout is okay, but it really pales with the contemporary Nintendo 64 racers including Diddy Kong Racing. It's home to some of the worst tracks in the series though being Sherbet Land, Banshee Boardwalk, Rainbow Road, and Yoshi Valley. The characters, being prerendered sprites, look ugly as sin. The trophy cutscene takes forever to complete and it's totally unskippable. The gameplay is horrendous, as the karts are slippery, drifting is weird to manage, and there's no indication you've drift-boosted aside from a character making stupid noises and the engine sounding higher pitched briefly. The items are relentless as even a hit from a green shell will stop you dead in your tracks for several seconds as you fly several miles into the air and bounce several times and your acceleration hits zero. The bananas also stop you cold too. Green Shells also take forever to expire (and the AI doesn't throw any shells) so things you fire can end up hitting you on the 2nd lap.
The AI might not have any access to shells whatsoever but their rubber banding is infamous. It's broken in a bad way. You hit an enemy with an OP Green Shell, they will rapidly rebound. But the AI can get ridiculously far ahead and even a shell won't stop them, they don't even fly in the air as they're supposed to. That's *if* you manage to hit them with a red shell as red shells are atrocious in this game, where you shoot them and they meander into a straight line before homing in an enemy, and they tend to crash into obstacles or completely miss. The physics are also stupidly broken, as steep cliffs can stop you cold and the character makes a noise unique to it. The weight mechanic also sucks ass especially since you start 8th, so boosting makes you smack into some fatass heavyweight in front of you.
The item system is interesting though, I give you that. 2nd place thunderbolts and 1st place Super Mushrooms are fun I guess.
The character stats are positively broken too. It's just stupid that middleweights accelerate slower than heavyweights yet have the same speed as heavyweights.
The game's content isn't even that great when you see its competition like Diddy Kong Racing. All you get are just some tracks, a barren battle mode, and time trials, and that's it. It's bare bones, which is a recurring problem in this series/
Best thing about the game would be the announcer and the cute character select screen with fluid prerendered animation, which just is nostalgic for me.
It also has one of the best reward title screens too
And finally that noise when you hit someone with a dragging banana bunch is some of the most satisfying moments in that game.
- Pronouns
- She/her He/him