John's semi-professional opinions.

Mister M

The most charming villain, ever.
Banned User
Well, I would apply for the 'Shroom, but I don't know to properly do the application. I got hung up when I was deciding whether to use Microsoft Word or Google Docs.

Anyway, like the title says, I'm gonna be writing little reviews about different stuff. Games, Movies, Characters, that kinda thing. Of course, I need time to actually write the reviews, but the first one shouldn't take too long to write, so expect it soon! Who knows, I might use it as my demo when/if I apply for the 'Shroom!
Stay fresh, Mi Buckos! - Long John Spaghetti
 

Anton

kero?
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
I use google docs to write Half-Baked Reviews because I can access it on my phone when I'm out and about, plus it's free.

If you still want to apply, all you have to do is send a message to LudwigVon, or me and I can send it to him, including this information:

1) What position you want to apply for
2) How often you plan on submitting sections (every month, bi-monthly, etc.)
3) Accept the condition that we will consider your behavior in the community as a factor in your approval and continued submissions
4) Provide a full-length demo of your proposed section

With most applications we receive, we ask them to format it for the wiki (a lot of people format it for the forum, which won't work on the wiki), and to consider including images. It's easier than it sounds, but if there's any questions feel free to ask :bowser:
 

Mister M

The most charming villain, ever.
Banned User

Hey, Hey, Hey, everyone! Welcome to the first issue of John’s Semi-Professional Opinions! Today, I’m doing something special to celebrate! Since this is my first review, I’ve decided to review the very first video game I have ever played! Grab your hats and hold onto ‘em: It’s John’s Semi-Professional Opinion of New Super Mario Brothers!









Plot


The story of New Super Mario Brothers is pretty much what you’d expect out of any other Main Series Mario game. Princess Peach has gotten herself kidnapped (again) and it’s up to the Mario Brothers to save her! This time, however, Peach has gotten kidnapped by Bowser Jr, which is the first time that’s happened in a 2D Mario game.



Gameplay


Even Miyamoto-San has stated that New Super Mario Brothers was supposed to be a re-imagining of the original game, so the gameplay is supposed to be similar to Super Mario Brothers on the NES. Well, the game does just that and more. The gameplay is super-smooth and really satisfying. Mario & Luigi still retain their Super & Fire forms, but this time, they have 3 new power-ups to help them. First up, the Mega Mushroom. While in Mega Form, Mario & Luigi can crash and smash to their heart’s delight. You can’t run while in Mega Form, but that’s to keep you from moving too fast, since you already go faster while in Mega Form. Also, the power-up only lasts a few seconds, but again, that’s so that the power-up isn’t so overpowered (See what I did there?). The next new power-up is the Mini-Mushroom. In this almost sub-atomic state, Mario & Luigi can go into Mini-Pipes, Jump way higher than before, and even run on water. The only real downside is that you can’t stomp on enemies, but then again, you’re smaller than a Goomba. Also, you still die in one hit, akin to having no power-up, but again, smaller than a Goomba. The last new power-up is the Blue Shell, my personal favorite. While wearing this surprisingly non-spikey shell, Mario & Luigi can skiddash all over the level like a Koopa out of control while mowing down any enemies in their way. The worst part about it is that the Blue Shell is super rare, so don’t expect to have it while in a Boss Fight.




Nostalgia


Being the first game I ever played, New Super Mario Brothers will always hold a place in my heart. I first got the game V.I.A my aunt at my Grandfather’s funeral. My cousin wasn’t really interested in the D.S. anymore, so I got her’s, and low and behold, it came with New Super Mario Brothers.




Final Verdict:


10/10: A+




...And that’s it for the first volume of John’s Semi-Professional Opinions! Hopefully this won’t be the only one I do, so until next time, ciao!​
 
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MiracleDinner

Fantastic Flower
Well I suppose there's a difference between a subjective review (how much you like it) and an objective one (how well you think it was designed, and, if applicable, how well it has held up to this day).

Ranking NSMBDS subjectively: it gives me nostalgia and I do have a blast playing it, but it's not all that special to me. Rating: 6.5/10

Objectively: The gameplay is alright but I wouldn't say it's the best 2D Super Mario game we've seen, not even amongst pre-2006 ones. The story is next to worthless. The graphics were alright for the time do not hold up well to this day. Rating: 4/10

I can't say I know much about writing in The Shroom but if I were writing an article reviewing a game I wouldn't want to send the message that it's a good game when that's just a personal preference and I realise that it was poorly made.
 

Mr. L

The Green Thunder!
Banned User
I recently got this game and it is kicking my ass! You can tell I am a 3D, RPG, and Ghostbusting Mario player. While my favorite 2D will always be either Bros 3 or World, NSMBDS is a fun little challenge for me. Just don't vs. me, I suck~ A main problem for me is that the Mega Shroom is used in only... three levels? Another one was that with the world 2 boss, I accidentally defeated it. I just kinda stood waiting for it and bam, it died under my feet?! Also Bowser Jr. isn't even a boss. So levels hard, bosses easy. But, I like it~
 

Santa Claws

Rebel with a Cause
Poll Committee
I can't say I know much about writing in The Shroom but if I were writing an article reviewing a game I wouldn't want to send the message that it's a good game when that's just a personal preference and I realise that it was poorly made.
There's nothing wrong with sharing opinions. An objectively correct opinion simply cannot exist, and it's not wrong just because you disagree with it. No opinion is unanimously agreed upon and it's not misinformation to share them. Also...

Objectively: The gameplay is alright but I wouldn't say it's the best 2D Super Mario game we've seen, not even amongst pre-2006 ones. The story is next to worthless. The graphics were alright for the time do not hold up well to this day. Rating: 4/10
This is not objective at all. Even disregarding the fact that you can't have a truly objective opinion, this is entirely dependent on what you find important in a game (subjectivity). What you are calling "subjective vs objective" is actually "fun factor vs other factors", which are both entirely subjective.

Don't say that something is objective when it isn't. True objectivity simply does not exist, and if somebody likes something that you don't, you can just say that you disagree and explain why, instead of saying that the other person's opinion is not objective and yet yours somehow is.
 

MiracleDinner

Fantastic Flower
I'm not saying it's objective in the sense that people don't have the right to find the gameplay the most enjoyable 2D Mario Platformer so far, I'm saying that when I do my best to remove my personal bias and judge the design of the gameplay rationally in accordance to how well the developers designed the game to capture and entertain audiences, and how well that design is improved by later games, it doesn't come out as the best. Thus this is not dependent on what I find important but rather what I judge should be important to the kind of game NSMBDS was intended to be. Of course I as a human being can never perfectly remove bias, but I don't see any harm trying.

If someone were to present to me a part of NSMBDS which goes against the aims of the developers or the appeal of the game, I would want to change my objective opinion of the game, to account for that poor design, but assuming it didn't affect my own enjoyment, it wouldn't change my subjective opinion.

My aim is not to say that everything I believe about the quality of video games is objectively correct and anything different is objectively incorrect, but rather to observe that I am personally influenced by factors which don't reflect the wiseness of the developer's choices, and to try to judge the game without that bias. I'm talking about objectivity in arguments rather than in facts. I can't get a ruler out and measure how good NSMBDS is, but I can put my personal preferences to one side and consider the game from a less biased viewpoint.

This is somewhat similar to https://movietime.guru/editorial-clarifying-subjective-versus-objective-in-film-criticism-aa5e7016daca
 
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Mister M

The most charming villain, ever.
Banned User

Hey, guys, and welcome to the second issue of John’s Semi-Professional Opinions! Before we get started, I want to apologize for last issue. It was really rushed and sloppy. However, this time, things will be different. Grab your Pickaxes, everyone, because as requested by Shy Guy on Wheels (@Dr. Eggman), it’s John’s Semi-Professional Opinion on Minecraft!




Plot

I know what you’re thinking: “But, John! Minecraft doesn’t have a plot!”. Well yes, but actually no. Minecraft does have (somewhat of) a plot. Your end goal is to kill the Ender Dragon. Sure, there is no dialogue or cutscenes or anything like that. It’s just your main goal in the end: Kill the Ender Dragon. However, this end goal is optional can be ignored if so desired.

Gameplay

Minecraft has the biggest level in all of gaming history: It literally goes on forever. You couldn’t even reach the end without hacks, and even then, Mojang fixed the same so that there is literally no end whatsoever. So, you don’t spend time going from Point A to Point B, instead, you have to build your house and craft your tools to go mining for better resources. It all runs pretty smoothly. However, things can get pretty lonely. Luckily, Minecraft lets you play with more people, so you don’t have to go it alone. There are even servers dedicated to just one style of play, whether that be Competitive, Cooperative, or my personal favorite, Jailbreak. Of course, there’s gonna be some pretty salty people on there that take the game way too freaking seriously, but, unfortunately, that’s the way it is with pretty much every game with multiplayer.

Multiplayer

There are many, many, maaaany different ways to play Multiplayer Minecraft. The most obvious one is to play Co-op, with everyone working together in a regular world with the end goal of defeating the Ender Dragon. That’s cool and all, but there are many more ways to play. For example, Creative servers. They were my stomping grounds for the longest time. You get yourself a reasonable sized plot of land that you can do whatever the heck you wanna do with. Wanna build a roller-coaster? Yep. A hotel as tall as the server lets you? Of course. A deep dark cave? Well, it has to be above ground since you can only go three blocks down, but sure! Also notable is Survival Games, a game type based on the Hunger Games book series. In it, a group of players (about 15-30) start out in a big circle. In the center of the circle, there’s multiple chests. Players rush up, grab what they can out of the chests, then spread out across the map. When only two players remain, a ‘deathmatch’ starts. In it, the two players are confined to a small area of the map and forced to fight to the death in order to determine the winner.

Nostalgia

Oh, man. You have no idea how much time I spent on Minecraft. At one point, I was averaging an hour per day, everyday. Sure, playing alone was good for me, but I liked to go on big servers and play all the intricate game modes. I didn’t meet any new friends, but I sure had a good time. Eventually, I forgot my password (because I had “Remember Me” on) and I couldn’t play anymore. But, the memories are still there, right?

Final Word

Minecraft is a charming game with an… interesting history on the internet, to say the least. However, what it does, it does right. And I only scratched the surface here.

Closing

That does it for issue #2 of John’s Semi-Professional Opinions! Make sure to look out for next issue, covering Mario Sports Superstars, as requested by @LeftyGreenMario! Until then, stay frosty, everyone!​
 

MiracleDinner

Fantastic Flower
Yes absolutely.


I know that list is based off my personal opinion only but even putting my own enjoyment to an aside, there's no doubt that Minecraft is an incredibly powerful and remarkable game which has extremely versatile ways to play, and can be used to build amazing things and to help educate children and solve problems in real life.

In terms of the "objective critique" this is probably the greatest game I have ever played, though I personally love some of the Mario RPGs more devoutly, and gets a solid 100% from me.
 

MiracleDinner

Fantastic Flower
too bad minecraft's controls broke my 3ds c pad ;-;

otherwise i love it too.
If you have a spare 20 bucks I recommend you just get the Java version of PC, as this gives you access to both Java and bedrock editions of MC (by far the most desirable two.) And it's not limited to one console so you can enjoy hardware upgrades indefinitely as well as being able to switch between portable laptop screen and big tv screen.
 
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