Mario versus FanFiction (lotsa images warning)

It's possible. I think the problem is that you're Luigi in that scene, and Luigi is kind of a doormat who doesn't snark in other people's faces even if they treat him like shit.

But really, the scene wouldn't even be that bad if those two got their just deserts at some later point.
 
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"Like why do we only ever talk with the lights out?"

"It's just a stylistic device meant to distinguish these dialogues from all the other ones. You know, for emphasis? Don't worry about it, Blumiere."

"Oh, that's a relief. I thought maybe it was because you think I'm ugly or something."

"Uhm, hahaha..."
 
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Wow, that felt cathartic. With this horrible portion of the journey over, the rest will be just... peachy.

I can't wait to see what this new beautiful day has in store!

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NEVER DOGGONE MIND!

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I'm not sure what the point of Tippi's weird addendum is. Like, "Oh, she totally said that" is the sort of thing you say when you're making stuff up. But here, everything she is saying lines up with what Merlee herself told us.

Maybe Tippi didn't actually listen and IS making it all up, and she's just getting lucky with the guess. I know I wouldn't blame her.

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Statement of the century. Cocking brilliant.

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Tippi apparently can't take these moronic statements anymore and is desperately trying to change the subject.

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Looks like the great shipping-powered sky rift has gotten bigger. Bleck must be writing some particularly bizarre lemons right now.

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Great, so maybe stop stating obvious facts and let us get on with the whole world-saving thing then.

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One of these things will accomplish something.

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This better be something useful.

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You are eluded by the meaning of "the man in green".

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...

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Leave.

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For fuck's sake, you can't be actually serious with this.
 
"The prophecy told of four heroes, and we all know Pixls aren't qualified to be heroes because who cares about them. Let's find the other two."


RUDE. But accurate. BUT STILL RUDE.
 
add merlon to worst character award next year y/n?
 
why not
 
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Lady, I have been here far longer than anyone should ever have to.

Also, you must be pretty stupid if you don't remember me running around here before. I look completely different from any of you by virtue of coming from an actual character designer.

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Why are you telling me about it? I apparently just got here.

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Talk to your parents about it.

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I find the presence of this guy highly amusing. It's like they knew the tower was an ugly piece of sin, so they put this guy here telling you "No! It's actually beautiful, look at its simple elegance! It's totally good and innovative design!"

Boy, it's a goddamn white T with doors stapled to the top. No amount of fake praise is gonna fix that trainwreck of an eyesore.

Also, not sure what that last remark was about.

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I found a crack in the wall.

This should probably be fixed, but you know how officials are. They won't act until the problem gets too big to ignore.

Let's make this problem bigger then, shall we?

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KERBLOOEY!

"Mario, this is very inappropriate, I am in great peril!"

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Man, I can't believe this. Look at how terrible this hole looks. They didn't even bother to add a drop shadow or anything, just added a shitty bold line and called it a day.

It's like they poured their art budget into the very few legitimately visually appealing areas and then just went full-on lazy with absolutely everything else.

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You could make this hole look more distinct and interesting with the most basic of tricks. Remember when you chewed my ear off about "simple beauty"? A drop shadow is a very simple tool, takes less than two minutes to draw, and with that easy addition blows your sad attempt at whatever that shit hole was supposed to be right out of the dimensional void.

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Anyway, through the badly designed hole we go and... apparently there's people back here.

I don't know what these people did to be locked away behind a wall. Maybe they're even more annoying than the other guys? Oh horror, please no!

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"Oh kid, I died a looong time ago. I just keep forgetting about it, so I get up every morning anyway."

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Bullshit.

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This girl is a smart cookie though.

Maybe they were locked up because they're the only sane ones.

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...why is there silvery-white whatever leaking from the wall? That seems slightly alarming.

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Oh, it's just a space rift. That's good, I thought it might be something out of the ordinary.

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"I would recognize that combination of fennel and embalming fluid anywhere."

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Somebody give this man a medal immediately!

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Oh hello. You almost look like an actual person, if it wasn't for that gaping hole where your neck should be.

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Nevermind, apparently you're the guy who sells these soul-stealing demon cards. No wonder they cut off access to this whole district; Your satanic experiments are to blame.

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...It is a blight upon this mortal plane! Cease business immediately!

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Confound these square-heads, they drive me to drink!

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Is this milk the alcoholic kind I've been hearing about? Does it give me unlimited FP?

Oh wait, they took FP out of this game! Goddamnit!

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You named your place after hell?

Well, I guess it's fitting enough for a place like Flipside. There's something poetic about suffering through Merlee's Mansion and finding salvation in hell.

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I know what you mean, man. People have been telling me about their underwear, secret boners, and bedroom stories from the moment I got here. It's enough to drive twelve men to the bottle.

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Oh, so you're an information broker? Remind me to never tell you anything then.

I might take you up on the offer some time though.
 
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... *sigh*

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This game is making me feel so unclean, at this point swimming around in dirty sewer water should result in a net increase in cleanliness.

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Nice U-bend. I wonder if this technically makes Flipside a giant toilet.

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I found some sort of clog goblin on the other side of the pipe. I can't believe the legends were true.

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Nevermind, it seems to be an EA representative.

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I see. The sewage gasses must have gotten to your head. You should relocate, buddy, you're turning green already.

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Then again your stock is kind of shit, so maybe this is the right place for you after all.

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I bought a cake mix. That's totally gonna stay in sanitary condition once I have to take the trip back through the U-bend.

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...the hell? Well, everyone needs a hobby I guess.

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Anyway, time to explore exciting* new areas of town!

*areas may not be as exciting as advertized.

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This is a completely pointless obstacle.

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Huh... Well that's wacky.

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Ohhh, I get it now! The pointless obstacle becomes a stepping stone when you flip to 3D, and you can use it to take a shortcut over the fence. That's actually pretty intelligent level design.

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Except there's an invisible wall and it doesn't actually work. The pointless obstacle remains utterly pointless.

This game, I swear... Even when I find something I THINK is good and smart design, it goes out of its way to prove me wrong.

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Whatever, let's just go to this place now or something.

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Target acquired. Good thing I can see through solid walls.

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Let's flip to 3D, so we can flip back to 2D and get past this wall.

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Well, here we go. Chapter 3 awaits.

No sense in dawdling and delaying the inevitable.

...

Actually... No, I don't feel ready. I certainly wasn't ready for what chapter 2 threw at me. I feel like I need to prepare for these trips better.

...

Got it!

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I'll have three gallons of your cheapest Grappa with no ice. Leave the barrel.
 
I'm not sure if the boss of the next chapter plays Pokémon Go. He doesn't seem the type for long walks.

...then again he's apparently pretty eager to kidnap little critters for no reason, so what do I know?
 
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I know. I used them all the time back in the old days.

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Shake the thing to shake my booty. Gotcha.

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Oh, is THAT what summons those ethereal voyeur people? I'm not sure I want to repeat that. It was pretty screwed up when it happened.

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Also, you dropped that annoying "Oooo the mystical being that transcends dimensions" spiel and just called them "the player". I find the direct approach less grating, but to be honest you don't need to address the button prompts at all. Trust me, I get it. It's not something I need pointed out.

Like, I know we're in a video game. It's my entire career. I don't ask questions when people talk to me in buttons.

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Super Mario doesn't need to do fancy moves to look cool. I'm a fat mustache guy in overalls, I'm always cool.

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You know what, Garson? You have really sold me on the idea of Stylish Moves! It sounds great!

In fact, I'm gonna go do some right now!

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Uhhhhhhggg....

Kids... Don't do Stylish Moves right after you've hit the tavern...

...'s not good...
 
I think the kid with a "secret" is maybe referring to the void, like he's convinced he's the only one who can see it (or at least the only one who realizes it could be a problem)
 
I'd imagine that the 2D perspective is some sort of orthographic projection, which is why the designers didn't add a drop shadow for the hole. If there are, however, instances where the 2D view actually shows perspective, then there's really no excuse for that.
 
Then to me the question becomes: Why use orthographic projection as a level design/camera tool in the first place? It is a practice used to depict geometric shapes or sometimes for mapping things out. It is not commonly used for level design because it creates inorganic and unnatural/ outright fake looking results.

It's kinda like if I decided to design a character, but only to use straight lines and no angles greater than 45°. Yeah, the result will probably look novel and "unique", but it will also most likely be a jagged piece of shit because some drawing conventions are there for a reason, and arbitrarily restricting yourself from using them is likely to hurt your work in the end.

And even if you absolutely HAVE to bastardize a mathematical tool into a level design gimmick: You could still use a drop shadow anyway. I mean, I get that, due to the nature of the projection, the edges of the shadow would perfectly line up with the edges of the hole and thus be invisible. But I feel like a simple drop shadow would be an acceptable break from the formula here. Sometimes artists break away from a formula if it helps the design's aesthetic. The ability to make this sort of decision is one of the things that separates an artist's work from that which is generated by a computer.

Or you could just, you know, design your levels normally and do things that look good without being innovative for innovation's sake. That works too.
 
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...

Yes, it is really called that.



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Whooho-- *burp*

Uhm, scuse me,

Whoohee!!! It's-a me, Mario!!

"How drunk are you exactly, Mario?"

Shaddap, Tippu!

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Really? Aren't those things usually far away? You must be broken or something.

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Tippi, did I ever tell you how brilliantly your wings shine in the light of the pixellated non-sun?

"Uhm..."

It's true! Every time you talk, I see a rainbow.

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GROSS AND WEIRD!!!

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Nooo! Not my bootyful buttfly...

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Is... is that bush talking to me?

God, is that you? Have you come to apologize for Merlee's Mansion?

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Ominous wobbling.

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Oh, nevermind. It's just a...

a...

...what the heh???

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What IS that???

It looks like a Kecleon knocked up an Etch-a-Sketch and then saved the baby as a JPG.

Am I really this drunk or is this actually happening??

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So this is the titular geek then.

Hey man, did nobody tell you that you don't just lick a lady like that?

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Also, recording episodes on tape? Geeks don't do that. They just torrent them online.

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No, tapes are so low-tech I am ashamed for the both of us. Get out of here, you goddamn disgrace!

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Man, what a goddamn loony, am I right, Tippi?

...

Tippi?

OH CRAP I FORGOT AAAAA!!!

PIECE OF SHIT GRABBED MY LADYBUG!

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Koffing, is that you?

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So is sitting in the bushes and watching weirdos lick people in the back something you just do for fun?

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Oh no, and now he's blogging about it! He even found an opening line already!

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I'm gonna wrap my fist around both your necks, so help me...

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Don't make me come over there!
 
Well, they probably also didn't have maid robots shaped like cats back in 2007.
 
idk i think saying "I'm going to tape this episode" is pretty common

i mean obviously they don't mean actual tape but it's because a colloquialism

also Quentin Tarantino still watches movies on vhs because he hates digital so much so maybe Francis is just supposed to be a mega snob like Tarantino
 
I didn't so much intend to question the use of a tape, but more the fact that you'd willingly adhere to the TV schedule when you've got the internet at your disposal and can pretty much watch whatever episode whenever, as long as its already out/leaked.

I admit that kinda blurred a bit with the follow-up line about tapes being low tech. I just added that one because it flew nicely from the previous one.

I guess there's also some projection going on here, since I haven't watched TV in more than a decade (excluding the time I was hospitalized) and when I want to watch something, I watch it online at my own pace.
 
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