Good wishes aren't always good wishes

Granted, but it's poisoned.

I want to have wings.
 
Granted, but you suddenly become incredibly obese. You can't fly, but the incoming heart attack might be a bigger problem. (My condolences)


I wish I could draw.
 
granted but only at things you don't like.

I wish to understand Gwich'in
Granted but you have to spend lots of time there first to learn it

I wish wine (the windows-to-linux compatibiltiy layer) was perfect (i.e. everything can run with zero bugs and performance as good as or better than windows)
 
Granted, your computer explodes because whatever you were doing was too intensive.

I wish I can get a copy of the Windows 95 Vinyl record.
Granted, but you can't find anything to use it with

I wish to marry a caring and handsome trans man