Good wishes aren't always good wishes

[Baby Mario Bloops]

Granted, but you get framed for cheating.

I wish to grow a beard.

Granted, but it comes in all patchy.

I wish that I gained five pounds.

 

[Andymii]

Granted, but there's now a five-pound weight in your stomach.

I wish for the this wish to have no consequences.

 

[Polymorph]

Granted, but since you didn't specify time it has consequences the next day.

I wish I could travel in the dream world (not like the Dream Team world, the world where real life dreams happen) without dying.

 

[NathanBros]

Granted, you disappear from real world forever.

I wish a teleporter.

 

[Polymorph]

Granted, but it breaks the first time you use it.

I wish I had a car.

 

[NathanBros]

Granted, it's a 18th century vapor based one.

I wish better luck.

 

[Polymorph]

Granted, but it only lasts a few days before your luck turns awful.

I wish I could go on a game show.

 

[Xiahou Dun]

Granted. You lose all of your money due to game show expenses.

I wish Google can suck a little less.

 

[Lee Chaolan]

Granted but your computer only lets you use bing.

I wish I could find Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door for a decent price.

 

[Xiahou Dun]

Granted. It bricks all your systems.

I wish I can solder.

 

[Polymorph]

Granted, you accidentally burn yourself and have to go to the hospital.

I wish I would stop stuttering.