Good wishes aren't always good wishes

Granted, but there's now a five-pound weight in your stomach.

I wish for the this wish to have no consequences.
 
Granted, but since you didn't specify time it has consequences the next day.

I wish I could travel in the dream world (not like the Dream Team world, the world where real life dreams happen) without dying.
 
Granted, but it breaks the first time you use it.

I wish I had a car.
 
Granted, but it only lasts a few days before your luck turns awful.

I wish I could go on a game show.
 
Granted. You lose all of your money due to game show expenses.

I wish Google can suck a little less.
 
Granted but your computer only lets you use bing.

I wish I could find Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door for a decent price.
 
Granted. It bricks all your systems.

I wish I can solder.
 
Granted, you accidentally burn yourself and have to go to the hospital.

I wish I would stop stuttering.
 
Granted, it gets uncorrupted.

I wish I could type better.
 
Granted, but your wish is so strong that it must be locked away, for fear its power is too great.

I wish to be the first real person to have a self-insert playable character in a Mario game.
 
J-Yoshi64 said:
I wish to be the first real person to have a self-insert playable character in a Mario game.

your character gets ridiculed and meme'd the hell out of, and you become the laughing stock of the mario series

i wish i could grow a decent beard
 
Your beard is so decent, that you become the blandest guy ever!!!

I wish I had a lot of yogurt so that I can eat it because I am hungry
 
Granted, but since you didn't specify what flavor (since there are like 80 of them), you get the flavor you really hate.

I wish my stomach would stop hurting.
 
Granted, but now he loves herbs so much he hogs them all to himself and now we don't have any.

I wish I was an autonomous, hypercompetent reality-warper.
 
Granted, you accidentally destroy humanity.

I wish it would stop pouring rain.
 
Granted, but you accidentally delete it in a few days.

I wish Monty Python's Flying Circus would get resurrected.
 
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