Rating the Mario Kart Wii Vehicles

[Greninja The Mario Karter]

In this thread, I will rate the Mario Kart Wii Vehicles based on Name (what it's called), Aesthetics (how it looks), Stats (how well it does with stats as well as the type of vehicle), Popularity (how popular it is online), and Enjoyment (how fun I personally find it to use). The rating for each category will range from 1 to 10. The total will be out of 50.

• Note 1: If a vehicle gets a low rating in the Aesthetics category, chances are it looks boring. Inversely, vehicles with high ratings for Aesthetics look sick.
• Note 2: If a vehicle gets a low rating for its Name, it has a stupid or outright boring name. Inversely, vehicles with high ratings for their Name have a cool name.
• Note 3: If a vehicle gets a low rating for its Stats, it usually excels in the useless stats such as Handling and Off-Road while suffering in at least one of the three most important stats, which are Speed, Weight, and Drift. Low stat ratings usually also happen if the vehicle is an outside drifting bike or a kart. Inversely, vehicles with high ratings are usually inside drifting bikes. Inversely, vehicles with high stat ratings usually excel in one of the three most important stats while suffering in at least one of the less important stats, usually being inside drifting bikes.
• Note 4: If a vehicle gets a low rating for Enjoyment, I don't really enjoy using that vehicle that much.

Standard Kart S

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 18/50
Standard Bike S

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 12/50
Booster Seat

Name Rating: 6/10
Aesthetics Rating: 6/10
Stats Rating: 3/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 24/50
Bullet Bike

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 9/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 8/10
Total: 43/50
Mini Beast

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 8/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 38/50
Bit Bike

Name Rating: 4/10
Aesthetics Rating: 3/10
Stats Rating: 2/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 3/10
Total: 15/50
Cheep Charger

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 34/50
Quacker

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 35/50
Tiny Titan

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 30/50
Magikruiser

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 39/50
Blue Falcon

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 32/50
Jet Bubble

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 5/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 37/50
Standard Kart M

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 18/50
Standard Bike M

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 12/50
Classic Dragster

Name Rating: 6/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 27/50
Mach Bike

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 10/10
Popularity Rating: 9/10
Enjoyment Rating: 9/10
Total: 46/50
Wild Wing

Name Rating: 10/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 9/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 8/10
Total: 45/50
Sugarscoot

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 1/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 1/10
Total: 9/50
Super Blooper

Name Rating: 10/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 32/50
Zip Zip

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 1/10
Stats Rating: 3/10
Popularity Rating: 1/10
Enjoyment Rating: 1/10
Total: 7/50
Daytripper

Name Rating: 2/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 3/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 11/50
Sneakster

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 7/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 35/50
Sprinter

Name Rating: 6/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 29/50
Dolphin Dasher

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 5/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 33/50
Standard Kart L

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 18/50
Standard Bike L

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 12/50
Offroader

Name Rating: 5/10
Aesthetics Rating: 5/10
Stats Rating: 4/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 25/50
Flame Runner

Name Rating: 10/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 10/10
Popularity Rating: 10/10
Enjoyment Rating: 10/10
Total: 50/50
Flame Flyer

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 8/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 40/50
Wario Bike

Name Rating: 3/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 1/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 14/50
Piranha Prowler

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 10/10
Total: 34/50
Shooting Star

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 9/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 4/10
Total: 30/50
Jetsetter

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 4/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 27/50
Spear

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 8/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 8/10
Total: 40/50
Honeycoupe

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 5/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 35/50
Phantom

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 1/10
Popularity Rating: 1/10
Enjoyment Rating: 3/10
Total: 20/50

 

[Xiahou Ba]

This list isn't accurate at all, the Wario Bike should get a perfect score across all ratings.

 

[Luciano Barone]

This list isn't accurate at all, the Wario Bike should get a perfect score across all ratings.

Dude, let the guy have his own opinions and don't force your opinions onto him.

 

[Xiahou Ba]

But it's true. The Wario Bike should be top tier.

It's a bike, and it's Wario's. How can you not be any more perfect than that?

 

[Xiahou Dun]

I'd rank the Sugarscoot probably higher in my enjoyment personally.

Yes it's a slow vehicle. Unfortunately the rest of Mario Kart Wii is really slow, at 150cc, so it doesn't matter what your handling is anyway when you can just min-max top speed and drift and mini-turbo with negligible penalty to the racing line. But at much higher speeds and with far more chaotic items, these "useless" stats suddenly start being useful. I've raced with 200cc mods with completely random items. Suddenly using the Mach Bike or the Sneakster is significantly more difficult while the Sugarscoot proved to be so much easier to handle around the course. At 200cc, the Mach Bike just won't drift if it's shrunk by Lightning (which happens very often) unless you lose time trying to do the standstill mini-turbo, IMO acceleration helps when you're constantly getting pelted by Spiny Shells, which happens a lot I get hit by three in succession. I've done 200cc on Star Cup with the Sneakster. It's masochism sometimes.


The Quacker might be even more fun in that mode though.

Also the Sugarscoot deserves far more credit for its design. While the name itself doesn't really invoke any sense of sweetness, it's clearly based off the Star, having a star on its tire, its front being star-shaped, and it's one of the few bikes with a rear-view mirror, making it distinctly asymetrical. I also like its accenting a lot.

Also its horn is tainted.

 

[Greninja The Mario Karter]