Rating the Mario Kart Wii Vehicles

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
In this thread, I will rate the Mario Kart Wii Vehicles based on Name (what it's called), Aesthetics (how it looks), Stats (how well it does with stats as well as the type of vehicle), Popularity (how popular it is online), and Enjoyment (how fun I personally find it to use). The rating for each category will range from 1 to 10. The total will be out of 50.
  • Note 1: If a vehicle gets a low rating in the Aesthetics category, chances are it looks boring. Inversely, vehicles with high ratings for Aesthetics look sick.
  • Note 2: If a vehicle gets a low rating for its Name, it has a stupid or outright boring name. Inversely, vehicles with high ratings for their Name have a cool name.
  • Note 3: If a vehicle gets a low rating for its Stats, it usually excels in the useless stats such as Handling and Off-Road while suffering in at least one of the three most important stats, which are Speed, Weight, and Drift. Low stat ratings usually also happen if the vehicle is an outside drifting bike or a kart. Inversely, vehicles with high ratings are usually inside drifting bikes. Inversely, vehicles with high stat ratings usually excel in one of the three most important stats while suffering in at least one of the less important stats, usually being inside drifting bikes.
  • Note 4: If a vehicle gets a low rating for Enjoyment, I don't really enjoy using that vehicle that much.
Standard Kart S
Standard Kart S (Baby Mario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 18/50
Standard Bike S
Standard Bike S (Toad) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 12/50
Booster Seat
Booster Seat (Baby Peach) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 6/10
Aesthetics Rating: 6/10
Stats Rating: 3/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 24/50
Bullet Bike
Bullet Bike (Dry Bones) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 9/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 8/10
Total: 43/50
Mini Beast
Mini Beast (Baby Daisy) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 8/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 38/50
Bit Bike
Bit Bike (Koopa Troopa) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 4/10
Aesthetics Rating: 3/10
Stats Rating: 2/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 3/10
Total: 15/50
Cheep Charger
Cheep Charger (Baby Mario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 34/50
Quacker
Quacker (Toad) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 35/50
Tiny Titan
Tiny Titan (Baby Luigi) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 30/50
Magikruiser
Magikruiser (Toadette) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 39/50
Blue Falcon
Blue Falcon (Baby Mario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 32/50
Jet Bubble
Jet Bubble (Toad) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 5/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 37/50
Standard Kart M
Standard Kart M (Luigi) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 18/50
Standard Bike M
Standard Bike M (Mario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 12/50
Classic Dragster
Classic Dragster (Yoshi) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 6/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 27/50
Mach Bike
Mach Bike (Daisy) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 10/10
Popularity Rating: 9/10
Enjoyment Rating: 9/10
Total: 46/50
Wild Wing
Wild Wing (Mario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 10/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 9/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 8/10
Total: 45/50
Sugarscoot
Sugarscoot (Birdo) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 1/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 1/10
Total: 9/50
Super Blooper
Super Blooper (Mario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 10/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 32/50
Zip Zip
Zip Zip (Diddy Kong) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 1/10
Stats Rating: 3/10
Popularity Rating: 1/10
Enjoyment Rating: 1/10
Total: 7/50
Daytripper
Daytripper (Peach) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 2/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 3/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 11/50
Sneakster
Sneakster (Bowser Jr) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 7/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 35/50
Sprinter
Sprinter (Luigi) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 6/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 29/50
Dolphin Dasher
Dolphin Dasher (Mario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 6/10
Popularity Rating: 5/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 33/50
Standard Kart L
Standard Kart L (Funky Kong) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 4/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 5/10
Total: 18/50
Standard Bike L

Standard Bike L (Wario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 1/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 2/10
Total: 12/50
Offroader
Offroader (Donkey Kong) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 5/10
Aesthetics Rating: 5/10
Stats Rating: 4/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 25/50
Flame Runner
Flame Runner (Bowser) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 10/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 10/10
Popularity Rating: 10/10
Enjoyment Rating: 10/10
Total: 50/50
Flame Flyer
Flame Flyer (Waluigi) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 9/10
Aesthetics Rating: 10/10
Stats Rating: 8/10
Popularity Rating: 6/10
Enjoyment Rating: 7/10
Total: 40/50
Wario Bike
Wario Bike (Wario) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 3/10
Aesthetics Rating: 2/10
Stats Rating: 1/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 14/50
Piranha Prowler
Piranha Prowler (Funky Kong) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 5/10
Popularity Rating: 4/10
Enjoyment Rating: 10/10
Total: 34/50
Shooting Star
Shooting Star (Rosalina) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 9/10
Popularity Rating: 2/10
Enjoyment Rating: 4/10
Total: 30/50
Jetsetter
Jetsetter (Funky Kong) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 7/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 4/10
Popularity Rating: 3/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 27/50
Spear
Spear (Dry Bowser) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 8/10
Stats Rating: 8/10
Popularity Rating: 8/10
Enjoyment Rating: 8/10
Total: 40/50
Honeycoupe
Honeycoupe (Rosalina) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 9/10
Stats Rating: 7/10
Popularity Rating: 5/10
Enjoyment Rating: 6/10
Total: 35/50
Phantom
Phantom (King Boo) Model.PNG

Name Rating: 8/10
Aesthetics Rating: 7/10
Stats Rating: 1/10
Popularity Rating: 1/10
Enjoyment Rating: 3/10
Total: 20/50
 
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Bluminescence

The Frenchiest French who has ever Frenched
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Ray Trace
This list isn't accurate at all, the Wario Bike should get a perfect score across all ratings.
 

Bluminescence

The Frenchiest French who has ever Frenched
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But it's true. The Wario Bike should be top tier.

It's a bike, and it's Wario's. How can you not be any more perfect than that?
 

Googoogaga Spaghetti

Babies are better than grownups
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Bazooka Mario
I'd rank the Sugarscoot probably higher in my enjoyment personally.

Yes it's a slow vehicle. Unfortunately the rest of Mario Kart Wii is really slow, at 150cc, so it doesn't matter what your handling is anyway when you can just min-max top speed and drift and mini-turbo with negligible penalty to the racing line. But at much higher speeds and with far more chaotic items, these "useless" stats suddenly start being useful. I've raced with 200cc mods with completely random items. Suddenly using the Mach Bike or the Sneakster is significantly more difficult while the Sugarscoot proved to be so much easier to handle around the course. At 200cc, the Mach Bike just won't drift if it's shrunk by Lightning (which happens very often) unless you lose time trying to do the standstill mini-turbo, IMO acceleration helps when you're constantly getting pelted by Spiny Shells, which happens a lot I get hit by three in succession. I've done 200cc on Star Cup with the Sneakster. It's masochism sometimes.


The Quacker might be even more fun in that mode though.

Also the Sugarscoot deserves far more credit for its design. While the name itself doesn't really invoke any sense of sweetness, it's clearly based off the Star, having a star on its tire, its front being star-shaped, and it's one of the few bikes with a rear-view mirror, making it distinctly asymetrical. I also like its accenting a lot.

Also its horn is tainted.
 

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
The Quacker might be even more fun in that mode though.
True, because while the Quacker has the lowest weight stat in the game and the same speed as the Sugarscoot, it has better acceleration and actually has good drift. Also, the Quacker is an inside drifting bike, while the Sugarscoot is an outside drifting bike.
 

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
Also the Sugarscoot deserves far more credit for its design. While the name itself doesn't really invoke any sense of sweetness, it's clearly based off the Star, having a star on its tire, its front being star-shaped, and it's one of the few bikes with a rear-view mirror, making it distinctly asymetrical.
I will admit that the Sugarscoot looks better than the hunk of junk that is the Zip Zip in that while the latter has a stupid name, it also looks very boring, as it literally just looks like your average everyday bicycle. And just like the Sugarscoot, it's an outside drifting bike. Now you'll find that most of these outside drifting bikes will rank low, because they are trash. Unless you have cc mods, you can't compete using these outside drifting bikes, man. It's nice to see that people may use outside drifting bikes online, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone using the Zip Zip online. It's literally the most forgettable vehicle in the game.
 
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Googoogaga Spaghetti

Babies are better than grownups
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Bazooka Mario
I'm using this mod called "Riibalanced" in tandem with the aforementioned 200cc. Maybe it does patch up the problems with those bikes.
 

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
Whaddaya mean, everyone is the same tier of being unusable in WiFi, officially anyway.
In TWD98's Vehicle Tier List, the Flame Runner and Mach Bike are in S Tier, the Bullet Bike is in A Tier, the Sneakster, Dolphin Dasher, and Magikruiser are in B Tier, the Spear is in C Tier, the Wild Wing, Mini Beast, and Jet Bubble are in D Tier, the Honeycoupe, Flame Flyer, and Quacker are in E Tier, and the other twenty-three vehicles are in F Tier. This is going to be a long list, but here is what Troy has in F Tier: Shooting Star, Bit Bike, Standard Kart S, Standard Bike S, Standard Kart M, Standard Bike M, Standard Kart L, Standard Bike L, Booster Seat, Bit Bike, Daytripper, Sugarscoot, Offroader, Wario Bike, Cheep Charger, Classic Dragster, Jetsetter, Piranha Prowler, Super Blooper, Zip Zip, Sprinter, Blue Falcon, and Phantom.

I can't believe that according to Troy, nearly two-thirds of this game's thirty-six vehicles are completely unviable for online competitive play. The completely unviable vehicles consist of fourteen of the eighteen karts, plus all nine outside drifting bikes.
 

Googoogaga Spaghetti

Babies are better than grownups
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Bazooka Mario
I used the mod "Riibalanced" (one DRASTIC change I've seen is the Cheep Charger handling worse but its miniturbo is ludicrous) and, yeah, those people will need it, but also if you're jumping through hoops to play Mario Kart Wii online, might as well try out balancing.
 

DarkHammerBro1616

Koopa Troopa
I used the mod "Riibalanced" (one DRASTIC change I've seen is the Cheep Charger handling worse but its miniturbo is ludicrous) and, yeah, those people will need it, but also if you're jumping through hoops to play Mario Kart Wii online, might as well try out balancing.
Also, the Spear and Sneakster are given better drift (making them more viable), and the Phantom and Shooting Star are finally given inside drift (finally making them viable in some way, shape, or form).
 
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