why do you hate geometric shapes so much
what did geometry do to you to deserve this much ire
what did geometry do to you to deserve this much ire
Mario versus FanFiction (lotsa images warning)
- Thread starter Lin Beifong
- Start date
- Thread starter
- #52
All right! We are officially done with the prologue! That means this project has officially lasted longer than my last LP! Wow!
I hope you're all ready for some Actual Gameplay!
Super Mario has arrived! Ready your briefs and panties-a, bitches!
Yeah, right. I wonder if one of these days whatever magical door I'm using at the time is just gonna drop me right next to the macguffin, and my helper character will gasp in shock like "ASSDHFDGFKDGGD IT'S RIGHT THERE, WHAT THE FUNGUS???"
Actually, he didn't tell us to do that. We went right past him, remember?
"Oh, right. Sorry, I must have imagined that then."
Hmm... that seems like a fun thing to have, actually.
TELL ME ALL YOU KNOW AND LOVE ABOUT SUPER MARIO!
No! That is not what I want! Tell me about Super Mario!
"Do I really have to?"
Yes, dingbat!
"Super Mario is the hero of the Light Prognosticus. He is a really self-centered and vain little creature and enduring his little episodes can get really taxing really fast."
>:I
GREAT HOGGLEDY BOGGLEDY!!! What manner of horrifying new creature is THAT???
Ah, that's good to know.
Tippi, you can't say that!!! That's really insensitive, geez!
Why did I get stuck with a judgmental butterfly?
It's ok, little Goomba friend! Mario will destroy you like he destroys every enemy. Ain't nobody gonna say Super Mario discriminates!
I say, something about that ? Block seems familiar...
Sonuva... Come on guys, there's charming call-backs, and then there's just whacking someone in the teeth with a nostalgia sledgehammer. Next you tell me you put a Mushroom into one of thos--
Why am I not surprised?
Well, at least this means I will have a health item to fall back on if I take damage late--
Wow, I instantly consumed the mushroom on touch...
My addiction has gotten a lot worse since the last game.
Luckily, the nostalgia wank does not permeate the entire area. It's not just a giant remake of 1-1, this inaccessible door thing is new.
This piggy thing is also new. Tippi, please tell me what its beef is.
...well, pork I guess.
Luckily, Tippy is cutting back on the casual racism this time.
Let's check what's down this Pip-- AAAAARGHBL!!! WHAT IS GOING ON??? MY BODY!!! MY--- OH MY GOD!!!
MY ENTIRE BEING IS RIPPED ASUNDER!!! THIS AGONY, UNFATHOMABLE, LIMITLESS AGONY!!!
I AM BEING FRACTURED INTO MY MOST BASIC OF COMPONENTS!!! THE PAIN IS INDESCRIBABLE, AND THERE IS A PIECE OF MY FOOT IN MY FACE!!!
Blorghphbbbllll!!! It's on my face!!! Get it off! Get it off!!! AND THEN GET IT BACK ON MY BODY IN THE CORRECT PLACE AAAAA!!!
Well, that sure was something just now. Let's hope this treasure was worth it.
Oh... great.
Real talk for a sec' though: These are pretty much your normal mushrooms for the game. They can't just be actual mushrooms because they decided to make the proper mushrooms auto-use on contact.
Right, let's get out of here already.
GOD FRAKKING WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS AAAA--
Ok, out again, and it looks like some complete douchebag has built their house in the middle of my platforming level.
I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind!
- Thread starter
- #53
Chiaki Nanami said:
Well, as he explained, Mario got shipwrecked on Shape World for several months. He had nothing to eat but equilateral triangles the entire time, so the whole experience has given him somewhat of an aversion to geometry.
- Thread starter
- #55
Whoever's in here, get your stinkin' house offa the roa--
Oh. Crap. No one's home.
Yeah, me. Don't even think about feeling me up. I haven't forgotten that you used to hang out with Merlon.
Well, that's convenient.
I feel like I should have something to say about this, but it's literally just an arbitrarily hidden door.
I guess they put it here to make it seem like Tippi is doing things.
So who's this clown then?
I'm not sure you should insult anyone's facial hair, pal.
Yours looks like a can of whipped cream exploded in your face, and then someone pixellated it.
Seriously, screw this guy.
"Pungent sewer odor..."
Yes, I'm from your ancestor's shitty fanfic alright.
...Ok, I admit that was a pretty decent setup for a joke. Well played, game.
Well, begrudgingly...
"Well, actually he didn't, it's just my headcanon that he did, so let's pretend it's what happened."
Oh my god, no! I do NOT want to know about Merlon's full body anything OR your hairy magnificience for that matter!
On that note, I find it rather worrying how I can't see what your hands are doing under that cloud/foam/whatever.
Well, that's at least something.
Screw this guy.
Yeah, Tippi's got the right idea. What is it with modern Nintendo games and putting obstinate, unlikable NPCs in your way that you just have to put up with?
...I don't like those ellipses in front of "expenditures".
...............
Actually, good point. And for that matter: Why should the hero bother to suffer through hours and hours of tedious macguffin hunting to save a bunch of ingrates who are nothing but unpleasant, rude, and insulting, and will do nothing to ever compensate him for his troubles?
I hear you, Mr. Bestovius. Loud and clear.
And you know, while we are on that tangent: You do not need to teach me your flip ability.
In fact, let ME teach YOU my own flip ability!
Have fun dying in the ensuing void apocalypse, you hairy piece of crap!
Super Mario out!
And thus I learned this incredible new ability.
About time, really.
So essentially, do what I have been doing naturally in the first two games, except packaged as an ability this time.
A is for apple.
Why does everyone I know have such problems with vowels?
Huh. That's... mildly disconcerting.
Ok, let's see what all the fuzz is about really.
So, press A to switch to the proper Paper Mario control scheme.
To be frank with you: This ability is pretty stupid. Not only were you able to walk around in three dimensions in the previous games BY DEFAULT, the only character who can use this ability is Mario. So once we get more playable characters to switch to, if you ever want to switch to 3D mode, you will have to switch back to Mario.
In a game where flipping between 2D and 3D is pretty damn integral to the gameplay, that is a pretty idiotic design choice. Like, imagine if in TTYD, you could only jump if you had Goombella out. Why do this? Just give everyone the ability to flip and then have Mario have a separate special ability instead.
Oh, and the part about taking damage if you stay in 3D space for too long?
That was not a joke. That really happens.
Remember when you were playing PM or TTYD and you were constantly taking damage because you were moving in 3D space? Yeah, me neither.
Please excuse me while I curl up and cry myself to sleep.
