this is very great tbh
Mario versus FanFiction (lotsa images warning)
- Thread starter Lin Beifong
- Start date
- Thread starter
- #27
O is for Ostrich.
The feh....?
Oh...
Oh it's THIS shit again!
"Then let Count Bleck ask once more: Bowser, do you?"
"Awesome!"
"And Peach, do you?"
"...whatever."
"Then by the power vested in me as priest (which I apparently have for some reason), I pronounce you husband and wife.
I leave it to you to figure out which is which."
Woop woop woop woop, clear the way, evil macguffin coming through!
It seems like lying on the floor in random places runs in the family.
If only we knew, Luigi. If only we knew.
"Wait a goddamn minute here!"
"Peach and Bowser? That's not Luigi's OTP!"
Again with the Dark Preposterous. Why don't you just marry it if you love it so much? The altar's right there.
Like, you could really use a girlfriend or something.
Then again if you had a girlfriend, she'd probably dump you since all you ever talk about is that dumb book.
"Criminal scum!"
"Stop messing with Luigi's headcanon, you annoying pricks!"
"For great justice!"
"Weegee, bitches!"
Wee-ooo, wee-ooo, error, error, Chaos Heart malfunction! Boop!
KERBLOOEY!!!
"You're never gonna let me live this down, aren't you?"
"Yes, my plot-invincibility saved me from the explosion... bullshits Count Bleck."
"From Count Bleck... with love."
"I'm going to imprison them in my castle and keep them under shoddy security, so they can escape easily. Except the green one. He will suffer for insulting my ship."
"Let me see them pearly-whites."
You know, it's really kind of funny how, right after Count Bleck summons the ultimate destruction of everything, the first thing you see after that...
...is the title of the game.
- Thread starter
- #29
You'll have to read the dark prognosticus to find that out.
In fact, it's one of the reasons why reading the book makes you go nuts.
In fact, it's one of the reasons why reading the book makes you go nuts.
- Thread starter
- #31
Nabber said:
(Shhh... That's the joke)
BEEEEEAAARRRS
how about a rousing game of pool
you know
if count bleck's constantly referring to his own name because he's reading his own lines out of the prognosticus
then he's not following it 100% correctly right? Unless the book literally quotes him as saying his own name again and again
if count bleck's constantly referring to his own name because he's reading his own lines out of the prognosticus
then he's not following it 100% correctly right? Unless the book literally quotes him as saying his own name again and again
Wait, are you telling me that Expresso (Expresso the Ostrich) is featured in this game? Is this how Deep the Lore is in this one?Dr. Alphys said:
O is for Ostrich.
- Thread starter
- #35
Ok.
Nope. Try again.
Aha! See? That wasn't so hard.
Yeah, I think I can bother to wake up for that. Good job.
Hmm... I don't think I've donated that butterfly to the museum yet. Too bad I forgot my net.
No, I always sleep standing up with my eyes wide open, you dingbat!
A fairy, huh? Well whoop-dee-doo, lemme get my pointy green hat and skirt then!
"You aren't a very pleasant person, are you?"
Ah, crap! It's five-O. I told you guys a thousand times: These shrooms are prescription!
We'll just see about that!
I plead the fifth.
"The Void"? Sounds like a band name. Can't really picture Bleck with a guitar, or any of the usual rock instruments though. He seems more like a clarinet person.
Thinking about it now, founding a rock band with a clarinetist as the lead sounds like something Bleck would probably do.
...Tippy, don't look at me like that.
Whoa, no! Not again with the arresting shit. Do you have any idea who I am? I am Mario! Super Fucking Mario! The law ain't touching me, bitch!
"Just shut up and let me draw my teleport rectangle around you, you donut!"
Right.
- Thread starter
- #36
Meanwhile, in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.
What's with this mouse cursor nonsense? What is this, Dora the Explorer?
"I mean damn, I was kind of looking forward to some quality time without your constant babbling."
"Why, this is the man of my dreams!"
"I know I told you I wanted to start dating again, but who knew you'd show up with such a hunky stallion of a man!"
"OH! Oh, this is about the prophecy stuff... Ha ha, I see, I knew that of course! I was joking, tee hee hee!"
"You probably don't have a place to stay here yet... You can stay at my place!"
"You must be tired! Why don't I help you out of those sweaty overa-- Tippy, why are you glaring at me?"
"So in a way, our town is kind of like the shitty rest stop of the multiverse."
"We tried to build it on rock and roll, but we couldn't find any clarinets."
"This is my character bio. Do you like it?"
She only said something about the count with the goofy name and then tried to arrest me. So no, I guess she didn't.
My hat?
Oh no, wait, that purple biz over there.
Ok, I'm going to reiterate just so this is clear: Count Bleck's OTP is so bad that it literally destroys all of existence! This is the plot of the game!
Ok, I'm sorry, but that has to be like one of the dumbest reasons for the world to end ever. Seriously. What if there's a princess and a monster king out there somewhere who genuinely like each other? So what, they can't ever marry because the world will end? When Beauty and the Beast ended, did that world blow up off-screen too?
I think the stupidity of this prophecy just gave me an aneurysm. That's why I've been standing there with my mouth open.
And there we have our macguffins for the game. Figures that I'd be the one called upon for world-saving duty again. Can't someone else step up for a change?
Wait, what are you doing? Why is your robe opening like that?
Heart? Oh god, I don't like where this is going.
Well that was easy then. Can you do that like, seven times more?
Nah.
I'm really not feeling it this time.
It's pretty easy. Actually, between saving the world and doing nothing, doing nothing is clearly the less strenuous option.
I don't wanna.
Maybe this world's time has come? Have you ever considered that? I've been in this jumping and occasionally hammering business for several decades now, and it's getting kind of stale, let me tell you.
Yeah, I mean, youre not exactly making any strong points here.
Oh my god, that joke was cringeworthy. Dude. Rancid. This just isn't fair, man. Ughh...
Fine, already. But only if you promise never, NEVER to make such a lame joke again.
Yes, yes, hero, chosen one, blah blah, kick silly cape douche in his dark postericus.
Awkward pause.
"Noble hero, I give you my heart. Treat it gently."
Damn creepy old bastard.
Thrust?
....
Thrust???
...
Is that really what you went with? Thrust???
...
Oh good lord.
!!!
Ohhhh goodness gracious almighty fungus in the sky please no...
Nope. Screw this shit.
Suicide for me.
BEEEEEAAARRRS
how about a rousing game of pool
Dr. Alphys said:
lol'd
also really didn't need that gif
DragonFreak
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly!
AHAHAHAHAAHHA SO MUCH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
- Thread starter
- #39
Ughh... crap! I survived.
Ok... Looks kinda like a port-a-potty to be honest.
"What will happen after I do that?"
"Uhm, we go back to Merlon and talk some more."
Nnnnnnnope to the Heart Pillar! Gonna go explore town.
Not a cloud, but something sure blew up.
Wait, I wasn't at the wedding, so I don't know that. I need to remind myself to forget about it later.
First a wizard with hip-thrusting action, now a guy who wants to get wet. Is everyone in this town a weirdo?
The void is clearly purple, not black. You need to get your eyes checked, kid.
Why is everyone in this town some sort geometric shape anyway?
Oh god, am I in Mario's Preschool Fun again? Did I stumble into Geometry Land??? It took me seven months to escape from those islands!
Gonna visit the fortune teller to check how screwed I am.
Mushroom-Jesus almighty, Merluvlee. What happened to you? You got hit with the ugly stick pretty bad there, huh!
She did not appreciate that comment.
"I am from a world where people are designed by competent character designers."
"I don't know, don't you ever wish for a shocking event, like, 'KERBLOOEY!'?"
"No, that is a pretty stupid thing to hope for."
Ok, since I definitely WON'T be staying with Merlon EVER, time to check out the beds in town.
BLEEP BLOOP. AFFIRMATIVE. MARIOTRON RUNS ON BATTERIES.
POSSIBLE RESPONSE:
YES/NO/FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!
"FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!"
This person looks like a malformed tetris-block, but she's nice, so I can't complain.
I found a Save Block.
You know, I haven't saved once yet today, so if I kill myself, I might wake up in bed again and none of this will have happened.
...I'll keep it in the back of my mind.
Thank god! I hope it'll stay that way.
You mean these elevators that write themselves into existence whenever someone wants to use them and aren't actually material otherwise? How do you service an abstract concept like that anyway?
Meh, the one place I was actually interested in seeing is inaccessible.
It's pretty stupid, but then again nobody I've met today struck me as particularly intelligent.
Maybe the smart people are all just dead?
AAAARGH!!! ANOTHER CRINGE-JOKE!
NO!!!
NO, I'VE HAD IT!!!
Wow, you look even more ridiculous than the people outside. I can see why you chose a job where you can stay indoors all day.
I don't know why I even came in here, since I don't have any money.
Wait, Shroom Shakes? That sounds disgusting! Let's get the hell outta here!
Welp, I found the edge of the map. Nothing more to explore. Guess there's no way to delay the inevitable anymore...
truly the second best paper mario lets play on this website
- Thread starter
- #43
Ugh... I don't really wanna do this but...
Man, this really IS Dora the Explorer.
"Which shape goes into this hole? Can youuuu figure out the solution?"
Tough luck, I already did it myself.
Blorghphbbbllll!!! It's on my face!!! Get it off! Get it off!!!
Here's a hint: If a place was not designed with 3D in mind and in fact looks really stupid and hideous in 3D, don't do 3D panning shots.
Looks like god is breaking out his etch-a-sketch for this one.
Wait, I think god is actually a woman, I met her once, on her bitchin' comet spaceship.
That was great. Space is so exciting. I hope I'll go on exciting space quests in this game too.
I know, right? Getting stuck in Geometry Land had its perks. I am unstumpable when it comes to shape puzzles.
...Shut up, Tippi. If you really could have done it yourself that easily, why didn't you? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Do I really have to? Maybe the apocalypse won't be that bad.
Wait, no, Tippi. I had this whole gambit lined up that would let me get out of this bullshit quest with no questions asked.
...Stop looking at me like that. How are you even glaring? You don't have any eyes.
...she made me do it. Stupid butterfly.
Oh well, guess there's no way out of this mess now. Let's face the Merloin.
.............
Just don't acknowledge it.
- Pronouns
- She/her
- MarioWiki
- Ray Trace
I hate Super Paper Mario's plot and seeing it get torn to shreds via riffing its plot is extremely cathartic.
I can make that ---ing building in literally 5 ---ing minutes
Here's a hint: If a place was not designed with 3D in mind and in fact looks really stupid and hideous in 3D, don't do 3D panning shots.
I can make that ---ing building in literally 5 ---ing minutes
- Thread starter
- #45
It's pretty sad that the central area of the hub, the one you frequently visit because it connects to all the other worlds, had no effort put into it in terms of design.
Important building? Nah, don't bother making a fancy design, just make it a giant hideous T or something. Done. Break time.
Important building? Nah, don't bother making a fancy design, just make it a giant hideous T or something. Done. Break time.
- Thread starter
- #46
Meanwhile, in the council of evil.
"Count Bleck is very sorry, but we are on a tight budget and can't afford chairs. He hopes you don't mind standing on these grid thingies."
"The Dark Prognosticus that he is still the chosen one of, mind you."
"By Count Bleck" didn't fit in the textbox there, I presume.
"Like brussels sprouts! Yuck! Hate dem slimy things."
"I do rather like brussel sprouts though, ah ha ha!"
PLONK!
This is O'Chunks, by the way. Out of all the geometric shapes people, he is one of the better designed ones. Unfortunately, he is the exception rather than the rule.
Oh yeah, and then there's this shapeshifting thing going on here.
Mimi is basically the Doopliss of this game, but we won't actually get to see her true form in this cutscene.
Don't expect too much though; She's pretty much just a square wearing a dress.
*canned laughter*
No, this is Patrick!
"Yeh! How'd I know who the real one is with two of 'em runnin' aboot?"
"But that's easy, the fake one is the one NOT constantly tonguing the Dark Prognosticus."
"Hmmm... true dat!"
"Count Bleck does have a bigger package than that though."
"Actually, I specifically made that part bigger than the original"
"Oh... Count Bleck sees..."
So not only is Count Bleck the chosen one, wielder of dark magic, and capable of simultaneously overpowering the main character and his rival (plus his army) with ease, he is also dearly beloved and respected by his minions.
...We have a term for these kinds of characters, you know?
*canned "Ooooooohhhhhh"*
*canned laughter*
Look at it! Look and notice how diverse our villains are! Look at their distinctive character traits we are currently pointing at with a giant foam finger! LOOOOOOOK!!!
"Uhm, 'K, esteemed Count? Why are your fingers crossed behind your back?"
"Hush, Nastasia!"
If everything is predestined, can't you just look up what you're gonna do in that book?
"No! The book says Count Bleck will lose in the end!"
Then why.... aaaargh?!?!
"Well, it could also be the mailman, but IDK"
"Count Bleck hates that mailman! All he ever brings Count Bleck is bills! That, and pamphlets for dancing lessons!"
*Mimi can be heard swooning at the thought of Bleck in a leotard*
"Geddit? S'cus I'm chunky!"
"I mean that literally: Do not fail Count Bleck! It is physically impossible because his expectations, both by and of him, are really low to begin with."
As opposed to a skinny thunderstorm, which is usually just a waste of everyone's time.
"I chunk better when ther's folks who are watchin' da chunkin'!"
"Uhm, yeah, TMI Dimentio, 'K?"
"Might even be enough time for a leisurely stroll down the beach before it begins, ah ha ha!"
Teleport rectangles are the hottest fad right now.
"Mimimimimi, as for me, I will head back to my room and strip in front of a full body mirror!"
"Count Bleck did not need to know that, Mimi!"
- Thread starter
- #49
Magikrazy said:
Love? Life?
Believe me, you want to stay as far away from Bleck's love life as possible. For your sake.