Your headcanons

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This joke has probably been done before, but I felt like doing it right now.
 
Club Mario is the end of the timeline. Everyone is long dead and the degenerate successors of humanity are commenting on archival footage.
 
Magikrazy said:
Waluigi lives in a dumpster behind a closed down Radio Shack.
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:mario: I'm stuffed with this large Burrito. I am going to throw it here in the dumpster, Luigi.
:luigi: Okey Dokey.
*Mario goes there*
:waluigi: : Are you going to eat that Burrito?
Mario: ...

Those Toad mummies come from the same place as cosmic Marios. Which is a creepy dimension. It may or may not explain those “spooks” you can see as easter eggs.
 
^I've heard that before. Forget where, tho.


Goombas and SPM characters and any other armless persons/species use invisible vectors to hold and manipulate objects (like Elfen Lied, but less gore and nudity). Most of the time, there are only two arm vectors, with invisible legs having more limited motility, and even the arm vectors only have limited ranges (like regular limbs) except in certain cases, like O'Chunks' stretchy arms (but keep in mind that you can also get stretchy non-vector limbs in the Marioverse too). In some other cases, powerful/magical individuals can also use separate, long-range telekinesis to move things at a distance (but again, people with regular arms can potentially do that too). Sometimes individuals wear sleeves, gloves, pants and/or shoes on the vectors, but others prefer the mystique and of course a lot of species don't ever wear anything.
 
If I was that game theory guy I'd say that Mario died in the beginning of Paper Mario and the entire game is just what Mario sees before he dies.


Whenever Bowser is pissed with his minions for failing he forces them to play on his Mario Party boards for his amusement.
 
Mcmadness said:
Whenever Bowser is pissed with his minions for failing he forces them to play on his Mario Party boards for his amusement.
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You'd think after all their failures, Goombas would be playable more often...

Kind of a joke headcanon: factoring in after playing with Left 4 Dead 2 mods extensively, the Mario characters and universe are actually real people turned into zombies.
 
No hands equals no play

Except for baseball
 
That's discrimination.

Hell, they let people without feet drive too, ya know?
 
Boos have that whole magic excuse.

Not that I care. I think a goomba doing things with no hands fits right in with a silly series like Mario.