Project Aviate: Now (kinda) accepting sign-ups!

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Re: Project Aviate

But that was when he hadn't posted any updates for months.

And each chapter is a game stage... Wonder what the significance is...
 
Re: Project Aviate

My presentation for the MWiki Awards is a prelude to Project Aviate.

Thought I should mention that.
 
Re: Project Aviate

Now, I'm basing this solely on the prologue, so my opinion may change, but I don't think I'm a huge fan of this.

As far as I can tell, it's from the perspective of Edgy McDarkCoolBadass who goes around being edgy, dark, cool, and badass, while killing lots of people along the way. Though this isn't an inherently bad premise, something about the way it's written kind of rubs me the wrong way, though since I can't really pinpoint it, my criticism here is pretty useless. Dippy or somebody like that could probably express it better.
 
Re: Project Aviate

...uh, maybe you could read what actually happens next so you can give a proper criticism?

I mean, come on, it's right there on the page...
 
Re: Project Aviate

I didn't even see there were two other chapters until like a minute ago.

I read 'em and I like 'em both a lot better than the prologue. Keep it up.
 
Re: Project Aviate

Positives: Portraying Faustino as being flawed and not always on the top of things (by which I mean giving him genuine flaws and weaknesses that make him look bad, and thus more realistic).

Negatives: You kind of overdid the whole Ninja McBadassAssassin thing in the prologue, but I already brought that up.
 
Re: Project Aviate

I see you took my advice on calling acts "Worlds".

While we're on the subject, was the absence of updates related to you writing the awards presentation?
 
Re: Project Aviate

Yes and no. I wrote my presentation just a bit after I wrote 1-2, and since then I've hit a hitch.

Don't get the wrong idea: I know what I'm going to do, it's just procrastination and laziness, mostly.
 
Re: Project Aviate

If you don't mind, I'm going to take Java's place and make minor grammatical edits where needed.
 
Re: Project Aviate

Nabber said:
If you don't mind, I'm going to take Java's place and make minor grammatical edits where needed.
Click to expand...
psh there's no official editing role in tabuu's stuff

heck in typical tragedy it lists alex and scarecrow as editors and yet i was the one fixing stuff

in other words go ahead do my work for me i don't mind

Good backstory, I'll say. I like it.
 
Re: Project Aviate

Dunno if this was on purpose, but you forgot this:

executing file "stage four.dll"
executing.
executing..
executing...
 
Re: Project Aviate

Very good. The layout was different from what we've seen here before, and I particularly liked the nod to Gotham City there (the city being divided into the rich and poor (don't know if that was intended or not, but overly brilliant) and the statement that this "isn't a place for heroes") The dialogue between most of the characters is well presented, and your use of words isn't flawed. And of course, the return of Hetor the assassin is overly brilliant too. Though most of the "stages" are quite short, there's enough information crammed into the stages to explain properly, and then some. I'm not a brilliant reviewer, but it doesn't take a genius to know that Tabuu's work is always up to his standards - a high, epic action that will most likely go down in history with Userpedia.

My rating = 97% Certified "Neptune"

Good job.
 
Re: Project Aviate

The rich/poor division wasn't an intentional reference, but "this isn't a place for a hero" was.

Hector's a different character than he was in Aviatebeta- a lot more likable, I'd say- and I'm glad you enjoy the work I've done so far. :)
 
Re: Project Aviate

Oh yeah, Hector seemed kinda like Tabuu (the character from his past stories) in this chapter.
 
Re: Project Aviate

[2:44:30 PM] Javelin Noir: 1: You have the phrase wrong. 2: You're building murder weapons.
[2:45:10 PM] Hector Faustino: It's my job!
[2:45:32 PM] Javelin Noir: Murder weapons.
[2:46:11 PM] Hector Faustino: At least I don't try to hide them in a garage or basement or something!
[2:46:30 PM] Javelin Noir: This just in: Hector Faustino keeps his murder weapons out in the open! Ladies.
[2:47:12 PM] Hector Faustino: I hate you.
Click to expand...
This is seriously as if I was actually chatting with you. I suppose that means the Javelin-brain bot I sent you arrived, then.

And I'm liking the way this is looking. Great job!
 
Re: Project Aviate

Jack Noir said:
[2:44:30 PM] Javelin Noir: 1: You have the phrase wrong. 2: You're building murder weapons.
[2:45:10 PM] Hector Faustino: It's my job!
[2:45:32 PM] Javelin Noir: Murder weapons.
[2:46:11 PM] Hector Faustino: At least I don't try to hide them in a garage or basement or something!
[2:46:30 PM] Javelin Noir: This just in: Hector Faustino keeps his murder weapons out in the open! Ladies.
[2:47:12 PM] Hector Faustino: I hate you.
Click to expand...
This is seriously as if I was actually chatting with you. I suppose that means the Javelin-brain bot I sent you arrived, then.

And I'm liking the way this is looking. Great job!
Click to expand...
Wait

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SENDING THAT BOT TO ME MAN

WHAT HAPPENED BRO?
 
Re: Project Aviate

oh uh

well that's because

er

I'm secretly sending Javelin brain-bots to thousands of people to get them to hear me, complete with my advice and witty snide comments. One day I'll download all the Brainlogs and just read them and laugh as my brain-bots mentally duel with the poor users who have them.

Oh, and the brain-bots do actually grant useful advice most all of the time. >_>

Just ask Tabuu, he can testify to that.
 
Re: Project Aviate

YOU'RE SECRETLY SENDING JAVELIN BRIN BOTS TO THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE TO GET THEM TO HEAR YOU, COMPLETE WITH YOUR ADVICE AND WITTY SNIDE COMMENTS?!! AND ONE DAY YOU'LL DOWNLOAD ALL THE BRAIN LOGS AND JUST READ THEM AND LAUGH AS YOUR BRAIN BOTS MENTALLY DUEL WITH THE POOR USERS WHO HAVE THEM???


Evil son bitch...I'll take ten.
 
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