I've returned from a week full of the most godawful luck ever. I'm hoping my mental health keeps getting better from here now that I've cut my mom out of my life and I'm close to starting my transition.
Just wanted to give a bit of an update - yesterday when I said I needed some time, I was still dealing with the emotional hurt that came from my mom's transphobic speech toward me a couple weeks ago. I'm still working through that so I'm going to need some more time, but today I spent an hour and 42 minutes on the phone with my dad today and we both agreed that it's for the best that I finally cut my mom off. I was surprised he was so willing to accept that outcome, but he told me he would support me in whatever I chose to do and understood that my mom has done nothing but cause problems for me over the last several years. Knowing that I have his support is going to help me a lot in processing everything and I'm already in a lot better mental state than I was yesterday.
I'm still feeling really hurt from my mom's rant from a couple weeks ago. It's genuinely affected my mental health to the point that I've had to start more frequent therapy. Think I'm going to need to take some time to try to heal.
My writing mojo has been totally gone lately so I'm thinking of going over to campus and spending a few hours at the library so I can get some writing done. I'd go to the building I usually write in but the air conditioning there is awful to the point that I nearly passed out there once so I think the library is a better idea.
Last night I dreamed that after my ex made me miss my counseling appointment today, I came here to a metric ton of messages from one of the mods telling me I had to roleplay as Diddy Kong. I told them I couldn't do it because I was going through mental health issues.
Realizing that I've been here for 11 years now at the age of 22. It's not quite half my life yet because math but there's barely anything or anyone else I do/know that has lasted that long.
Do you think there's such a thing as like, a calculator that markets itself as AI? AI has become such a stupid corporate marketing buzz word that any program more complicated than Hello World is "AI" now so I wouldn't be surprised.
A couple days ago I complained about the frustrating dreams I've been having about bowling and then last night, I have another one. Can I stop having dreams that remind me how boring real life actually is?
There have been some big rivalries in the past; cats and dogs, democrats and republicans, Seinfeld and Newman, etc. But allow me to propose one of the greatest rivalries that no one ever talks about: night owls and lawn mowers.
I've been having the most frustrating dreams lately where I run into someone I used to know from bowling, we start talking and have a nice conversation and eventually make a connection, and then I wake up and realize that didn't happen and that I have like, no real life friends except for a couple.
I like your new avatar. You're the handsome one, I think (its a joke from Bowser Nightmare's cutscene in story mode, where one says "I'm the handsome one" or he says cool, idk)