Zaphking

Zaphking

ΣΤΔ ΘΔ 24 From a void in an 80s music video
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  • Zaphking
    So I've been thinking about it and I think cutting myself off from a source of socialization when loneliness is one of my biggest struggles isn't really helping much. Because of that, I'm going to keep hanging around here, even if it's just having the tab open in the background to check every once in a while.

    As for my mental health, it's still just as bad as ever. I've been struggling with poor mental health since like, March at this point and it's very tiring.
    Zaphking
    So, bad news. My mental health has gotten to the lowest point it's ever been at in the past five and a half years. Because of that, I'm going to have to dip again while I try to recover it. That being said though, my ten year forumversary is coming up in a week and I'm not going to miss that.

    Wish me luck in my battle against depression. I'm losing pretty hard right now but I want to turn it around and kick my depression in the balls.
    Zaphking
    I've been having so many anxiety nightmares lately and I don't know what to do to get rid of them.
    Nera
    Nera
    How unfortunate, I wish that they stop but I don't have any advise myself
    Zaphking
    I just love how at the same time YouTube started banning adblockers, they also started allowing 36 seconds worth of unskippable ads before videos. Great job YouTube, I'm sure that will make everyone love you so much.
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    Lightning McQueen
    Lightning McQueen
    Wow that's just plain dumb, just let people use adblockers for God's sake. Google is multibillion dollar company. People using adblockers won't bankrupt them or anything.
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    "If we let people use adblockers, it won't do anything to support us - I mean support their favorite creators though." -some suit at Google, probably
    Supergirl
    Supergirl
    uBlock Origin running on Firefox ESR still works for me?
    Zaphking
    I hit 400 subscribers on YouTube. How and why is beyond me but I'm glad my sleep schedule is just so bad that I'm up late enough to notice.
    Zaphking
    I want so bad to make Mario Kart custom content but I know I don't have the patience to teach myself how to do it even if I watch a bunch of tutorials. I have such a bad case of gorilla brain that always needs instant gratification.
    View previous comments…
    Xiahou Ba
    Xiahou Ba
    Oh, what do you want to make? Tracks? Characters?
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    Tracks for the most part, but it would be fun to have a couple custom characters.
    Xiahou Ba
    Xiahou Ba
    Tracks are the most difficult thing to mod in the game so I dont' blame you. Never got a custom track because I don't have that sort of patience.
    Zaphking
    I told my ex about the 7/29/95 build of Mario 64 and suddenly the bulb in my lamp started flickering a little. Maybe all the warnings about not researching it were right.
    Zaphking
    English: "The ambulance is taking me to the hospital."

    German: "Der Krankenwagen nimmt mich zur Krankenhaus."

    As a native English speaker, I love German.
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    Lin Beifong
    Lin Beifong
    It's not just about word order, "Krankenhaus" is put into femininum here (zur Krankenhaus/die Krankenhaus) when it should be neutrum (zum Krankenhaus/das Krankenhaus).

    I thought I should let you know in case this is part of a homework assignment or something that will be checked/graded.
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    It's not, it's just me commenting on how funny I, as an English speaker, find the words "Krankenwagen" and "Krankenhaus."
    Lin Beifong
    Lin Beifong
    All good, then. 👍
    Zaphking
    Just beat a new hardest in GD in only 748 attempts. I started it last night and put in about 647 attempts, then did a practice run as a refresher today and then just kinda plowed through it. I'm really happy with how I've actually been getting better at GD.
    Zaphking
    Me: (just trying to mind my own business)

    My brain: Hey, remember that stupid thing you did like four months ago that made you look like a stupid dumb idiot? That was a great memory, wasn't it? I'm going to keep thinking about it incessantly for the next 30 minutes and you can't do anything about it.
    View previous comments…
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    I wish I had that. Sometimes my brain will just be like "Here's a memory of something stupid you did by accident five years ago. You sure are a dumb stupid idiot moron." Every time that happens, I wish I could curb stomp my brain.
    Tangle the Lemur
    Tangle the Lemur
    I mean, that happens to me sometimes too, but I don't really get embarrassed or anything? Like, I have better things to do with my time than think about that, and I'm obviously not going to do it again, so
    Supergirl
    Supergirl
    Same for me except it's more like 10 years
    Zaphking
    Even though I keep telling myself that the mobile version of this website is terrible and doesn't entirely work half the time, I still keep using it on my phone and I think I need to stop. Doesn't help that I have a bit of a problem with social media addiction and keep bringing myself back on here when I know I should be doing other things, so I'm going to do my best to only be on here on my computer from now on. Wish me luck.
    View previous comments…
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    I think I might have used that? It was still buggy and annoying, mostly in terms of the posting UI not letting me use it a lot of the time. I also just need to break my social media addiction, so I think it's better for me to keep it off my phone for a while.
    Supergirl
    Supergirl
    What's the issue with the mobile site?
    And in my experience the difference between them is literally just horizontal vs vertical, so if I stretch a browser window on PC into a vertical shape it goes "mobile mode" but if I rotate my phone sideways it goes "desktop mode"
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    Now that I think about it it's probably just a me issue. That and the fact that sometimes the options to add spoilers and whatnot just doesn't let me use them.
    Zaphking
    Gotta love how my friend just pointed out the juxtaposition of me finding Wario creepy while being really into Waluigi.
    Zaphking
    My friend at school: "They say you write what you want to read."

    Me, currently working on a gay furry romance story: "Yeah, sure, we'll go with that."
    Zaphking
    My neighbors have gotten so loud all the time that they kept me up until 5:00 AM and woke me up at 9:30. I'm currently in a really bad mood and it's such a problem that I had to tell my landlord.
    Zaphking
    I hate Twitter but if there's anything I miss about it, it's how it was a good place to write down my random thoughts and minor complaints without feeling like I'd be annoying for posting a few hours apart. Sometimes I like to be vocal about whatever I'm thinking about, no matter how stupid it is and Twitter is great for that. I wish there were another platform that weren't as much of a hellhole as Twitter where I could say my random nonsense to people who might be willing to listen on occasion.
    Koopa con Carne
    Koopa con Carne
    consider yourself welcome to share your feelings here! you have the benefit of a tightly-knit community that may be more given to empathy than twitter's entropic grandstands
    Tangle the Lemur
    Tangle the Lemur
    i will judge every word that leaves your mouth, and can and will use it against you. you have been warned
    Zaphking
    Crazy how you can get emotions over not only memories you have, but also memories you don't have. I've been thinking about how being an only child with emotionally distant parents caused me to grow up feeling isolated, made even worse by my mom never letting me go to public school. I never got to do anything fun with them at home and therefore didn't develop fond memories of growing up. It feels like I missed out on a true childhood and now that I'm an adult, I can see just how much I wish I had that.

    So anyway, all those thoughts came from listening to Wii Sports bowling music.
    • Like
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    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    I feel like I never really let go of the things I liked as a kid since they helped me cope with my horrible real life situation. I still live in my imagination most of the time, I still love plushes, and I've developed a reputation at my college for being "the Mario guy." I know I used to feel really insecure about being as openly into Mario as I am but nowadays my belief is that I'm a depressed, autistic college student living in a society that's doing everything it can to shut me down so anything that makes me happy is something to be celebrated.

    Damn, being an English major sure has made me verbose.
    I'm the lil bro.
    I'm the lil bro.
    I think that's the right mentality to take! There's nothing wrong with loving Mario. While I didn't seriously get into the franchise until later in my teens, there's something about it that always puts a smile on my face. People boil it down to being simplistic and childish, but there's a lot of thoughtful decisions that go into the making of Mario games so that they can bring that unfiltered joy.

    Honestly, to some extent I would say cringe culture or making fun of adults for liking things is just repackaged ableism, since we all know those who get that amount of comfort from fandoms and actively participate in them the most are dominantly autistic. I mean, I'm also an autistic adult myself.

    It's a lot nicer, and liberating, to see it for what it is and decide not to bother with any of it. Especially when life is rough. It's okay to take what you can get and holding it back for some... what, sense of maturity-superiority?... it doesn't amount to much in the end, and I think that's easier for us to see as opposed to our allistic counterparts.
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    I left most social media because the negativity was just too much for me. I like hanging out in the more tight-knit communities where people enjoy just hanging around each other. Even my school friends think it's a little charming that I carry around a King Boo plush to help with my generalized anxiety. I'm not some kind of failure in society because I enjoy staying at home and writing stories and playing Mario Kart even though my mom would really like me to think that. It's definitely important to just accept that people have interests that might be different from yours and let them enjoy it.

    And yeah, there definitely comes a point where "cringe culture" is just another label for blatant ableism. Adults have interests, and just because they may lean more "childish" (as much as I hate that term, I can't think of a better one) doesn't mean it's worthy of dunking on them for being "weird" and "cringe." Like I said, the world is a horrible place to live in right now, especially at the age where we'll be dealing with all the problems the older generation is leaving us with on their way out. Any shred of joy you can get out of your interests, no matter the target demographic, is a good thing.
    Zaphking
    Hallo.

    It's been a while, hasn't it?

    Basically, I've been dealing with the stress of college and deteriorating mental health and haven't been inclined to check in here lately. Well, I just finished with my last final a couple hours ago so I thought I'd drop in and let everyone know I'm okay. I probably won't be going back to activity very much, but I'm glad to be done with my freshman year of college after this much time.
    Zaphking
    My mom committed a felony update #2: the money has been returned to my account, except for $45 that's unaccounted for. I'll probably still take all my money and move it to a new bank account that she doesn't have control of though.
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    Xiahou Dun
    Xiahou Dun
    ...was she actually charged as felonious
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    I never pressed charges, but Massachusetts law says that theft of any property worth $250+ is a felony and she stole a lot more than that. I doubt she'll ever be charged with a felony though.
    Xiahou Dun
    Xiahou Dun
    probably should consult a lawyer, idk your situation
    Zaphking
    The elevator in one of my school buildings was on fire so I got to dip from my least favorite class an hour early.
    Zaphking
    Everyone talks about how bad Spotify shuffle is but why does no one talk about how YouTube shuffle is literally the worst thing ever?
    fantanoice
    fantanoice
    Urg true that, Youtube Music is awful
    Zaphking
    I'm craving a sandwich from the place at my school now that I haven't been to school in a week.
    Zaphking
    Update to the whole "my money got stolen by my mom" thing: Turns out that if there isn't some stupid loophole with her having access to my bank account, then I could sue her on felony larceny charges. I have no idea if that will actually happen, but it's good to know the law is most likely in my favor if I do go after her.
    • Like
    Reactions: Xiahou Ba
    Hot Chocolate
    Hot Chocolate
    I say go ahead. It's about time that karma got your mom's ass.
    Mike Wheeler
    Mike Wheeler
    Per LJS; my advice is to start looking into it now, as while I need to learn more about how the laws work in these instances but especially you should avoid not being able to sue her like she deserves because she realizes you're going to take action on it and gives it back only because of that. Even if that isn't all bad because you got the money back, you need to seriously take action against her behavior, no matter what. Your not responding to her calls as you mentioned a bit ago is a good first step, for example, as you've already done what you could there.
    Zaphking
    My mom's birthday gift to me was stealing over $1250 from me because I wouldn't answer her relentless phone calls 🙃
    View previous comments…
    Mike Wheeler
    Mike Wheeler
    @LavaSherbert Wow you posted exactly half a day after me
    I agree, that's theft and something that should be able to get one convicted
    Zaphking
    Zaphking
    I would probably consider suing if it weren't for the fact that she immediately wrote a check to my dad, who's going to (most likely) give it back to me. I'm also a little unsure what the laws surrounding it would be given that she has "approved" access to my bank account, even if that approval was from when I was about 13 and couldn't actually legally approve something like that.
    Xiahou Ba
    Xiahou Ba
    Get your own bank account without her involvement asap and transfer your funds to it.
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