Dear Waluigi Time [Inactive]

Dear Waluigi Time,
Sometimes I don't have the time to always answer people's questions with the nuance and thought that I believe they deserve, and I end up with an enormous pile of questions that will never be answered. What do you like to do to cope with occasions when you get too many questions piling up?
-An Ask Thread procrastinator
 
Ahoy, Waluigi Time!

Last year, I was sailin' the seas when a storm rolled in an' caused me ta get hurled o'er the side o' me ship, after which I was eaten alive by a Cheep Chomp an' woke up in The Overthere. What can I do ta prevent such a thing from 'appenin' again?

- ClawgripFan9001
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

It's these two kids, mon! I was summoned to their house one day to claim the soul of their pet, but they wouldn't give it up! So, we had a little game of limbo, in which I am the undefeated champion, but they won and now I'm their friend for all eternity! They use me for their own advantages and refuse to let me leave! Do you have any ideas for a powerful being such as I to pass the time without goin' insane?

-The Grim Reaper 💀
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

A man down an alley sold me a copy of A Link to the Past last weekend. He assured it was perfectly normal, so of course I believed him, but since putting it in and playing it my life has become increasingly weirder, almost like I'm in a creepypasta. Yesterday, Link gained hyper realistics eyes that started bleeding, and then proceeded to climb out of the TV. Since then, he's just kind of been wandering around my house, stating oddly mundane things like "Gee, it sure is boring around here" and "I wonder what's for dinner?". Last night I found that he watched me while I sleep, he stayed in the same position all night and nothing had changed once I woke (I honestly just wish he had disappeared while I was asleep). I'm seeking advice on what I should do with him now. Should I leave him alone until he's gone? Try to befriend him? Or do you think he's some kind of demon that I need to remove?

Sincerely, a creepypasta protagonist.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

How do I get my girlfriend to like Halloween? She's totally scared of everything relating to it. I gave her several costume ideas so we can go trick or treating, but she doesn't want to do it. What's a costume she would like that isn't scary?

Yours truly, Zerris.
 
dear waluigi time,
once every year, i get visited by creatures of the night, who are asking for their yearly sustenance. however, upon closer inspection, i realise they are actually LYING CHILDREN and have to drive them away before they steal my candy. how do i stop this from happening?
-a troubled homeowner
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

My boyfriend always puts super spicy things on everything we eat. Just last night, we were eating some microwave burritos, and he put something called "Lavalava Volcano Sauce" on it. I don't have the heart to tell him it weirds me out, what's a good way to tell my boyfriend that his hot sauce habit is odd?

-Cayde
 
WALUIGI TIME I DON'T KNOW WHICH WIRE TO CUT THIS BOMB IS GOING TO EXPLODE IN 10 SECONDS

- Sincerely, HELP