Good wishes aren't always good wishes

Chuck has a beard
Mattress bottom, Parachutes

I wish I could kick like Chuck Norris, with impeccable aim, the sense not to kick a pile of dynamite,the quality not to explode randomly, the ability not to have my power used against me.
 
Granted, but everyone else gets the better version of that power, thus outclassing you

I wish you would stop wishing for that
 
Granted but you power became so huge that the universe exploded.

I wish USA would use French as their main language.
 
Granted. It's disgusting, however.

I wish America wouldn't change the name of all our best sports and The Philosopher's stone.
 
Granted but it changes the names or only some of the best sports.

I wish for a million dollars, that no one would steal, and I would spend it on something nor ridiculous.
 
Granted but it gets locked.

I wish my computer had all of the keys not falling out. The left arrow key has gone beyond non-professional repair.
 
Granted, but your mouse explodes

I wish weekends lasted longer
 
Granted, but cars all pile up outside your house for some reason

I wish that I could have all the money in the world, and nothing could possibly go wrong with this wish.