The joke thread. ( Puns and Wordplay are welcome)

[Polymorph]

How do you split the Roman Empire?

A pair of Caesars.

 

[J-Yoshi64]

If tomb is pronounce toom
And womb is pronounced woom
Why isn't bomb pronounced boom?

 

[Magikrazy]

And comb pronounced coom?

 

[GalacticPetey]

For all the kids who took Latin in school

An Ancient Roman walks into a bar
He sits down and says
"I'll have a martinus please."
"Don't you mean a martini?" The bartender asks
The Ancient Roman replies
"If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."

 

[J-Yoshi64]

So there was this cattle ranch on an old site of a battle. One of the male cattle came across an old grenade that was left behind, and ate it.
The result was

Spoiler

a bomb in a bull (abominable).

 

[Magikrazy]

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please".

 

[J-Yoshi64]

When a thief decides to break in, they have two options.
Intruder door, or intruder window.

 

[Roserade]

Two elves walk into a bar.

The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

 

[Princess Céline]

How do you make a Norweigan entertained for one day?

You put him in a circular room and tell him to sit in a corner.

 

[fantanoice]

 

[J-Yoshi64]