Glowsquid post statements from wikis that amuses him

I think they fixed it by now, but back in 2010-ish, Fanboy and Chum Chum Wiki was a mess.

For one, they had an article on "Cum Cum". Rather than fix the spelling, some guy just put his correct name in the Trivia.

Also, there were only two category pages. "9 Years Old" and "Fanboy is 10 Years Old", which both contained only one article (Cum Cum and Fanboy respectively).

iirc there was also an article on the wizard kid, but it contained two sentences, the last one saying something along the lines of "sorry fans of this character, someone deleted all the information".

Glad I hate that show now, or else id be pissed.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Tony_Hawk_%28character%29&oldid=361199434


Tony Hawk's role in the series was usurped by customizable player characters in later installments
Click to expand...

IGN ranked Tony Hawk on its February 2009 list of the top ten video game characters who should die,
Click to expand...
 
A Je'daii Ranger and his Padawan are sent from the Order to the Hapes Cluster, a closely packed star cluster located in the Inner Rim of the galaxy, to investigate the Lorell Raiders pirate gang. Ranger Kong and his padawan Mario are introduced to the beautiful Hapan Senator, Pauline, who requested their appearance. Ranger Kong and Mario then stop an assassination attempt on the senator.
Fatal Divergence Edit

With Pauline's life in danger the Je'daii request Pauline stay under their protection, to which Pauline refuses, something the young Mario admires. The Je'daii then continue their investigation by interrogating the captured would-be assassins. The prisoners refuse to name their leader but do give the location of their next target across town. The Je'daii prepare to leave the main city and Pauline wishes them luck. Mario tries to convince her not to give her speech prepared on the matter of woman's rights, however she insist that she must for the good of her people. Kong and Mario soon intercept the Lorell Raiders before another credit can be purloined. With their battle over the last of the defeated raiders laugh in the face of the Je'daii as he succumbs to his wounds. As the raiders laugh echoed inside his head, Kong realizes the town wasn't the target at all and that the Raiders real plot was to kill Pauline. The Je'daii race back to the senate building. As they arrive Kong spots the sniper and force-throws his Force-imbued blade at him, while Mario dashes toward Pauline, however moments before Mario reaches her, a shot is heard.
Investigation Edit

As the now dead sniper falls down the ledge Kong looks down to the platform to see a pool of blood leaking from a downed Mario. Kong force jumps to the platform and inspects his injured padawan brushing the shocked senator aside. Kong declares Mario will survive the shot through his side, and request medical attention. Pauline suggest that she and her servants take care of the maimed Je'daii to which Kong begrudgingly agrees, regretting taking this assignment. As Kong continues the investigation Mario is sent to Pauline's quarters. Kong's investigations lead to several dead ends meanwhile Mario and Pauline grow closer to one another.
A New Lead Edit

With Mario getting stronger he attempts to sneak away from Pauline's home and join his master, however Pauline catches him in the act and stops the still hurt Mario from leaving. Mario is then given a sedative to help him relax. While drugged Mario admits Pauline is the most beautiful girl he has ever met, to which he then passes out, and she places her lips on the sleeping Mario. During this time Kong bust through the door revealing he has finally found the leader of the Raiders, startling Pauline who distances herself from Mario. Kong informs the Senator that the leader is Captain James McCloud a mercenary-for-hire. Kong ask Pauline if Mario will recover in time to launch a final strike upon McCloud and Pauline informs him otherwise. Kong then gathers the guards surrounding Pauline's quarters and instructs her to take good care of Mario, to which she complies as Kong rushes off. Half-an-hour goes by and Mario begins to come to, still woozy from the drugs. Just as Mario and Pauline begin to talk the building is broken into and black smoke fills the room. Meanwhile Kong and the guards infiltrate McCloud's headquarters to which the whole complex explodes. Kong manages to survive this ambush but is critically injured. Back at Pauline's a man walks through the smoke proclaiming, “Miss Pauline...you're one tough bitch to kill” and reveals himself as James McCloud.
Shadow Games Edit

With McCloud's blaster pointed at Pauline's head Mario manages to force grab his blade and slice the blaster in half as he struggles to say “and, I'm here....to make sure...it stays that-a way”, McCloud laughs and asks “and who are you” Mario then looks at McCloud and says “"It's a-me, Mario!" McCloud then swiftly pulls out another blaster and fires upon the Je'daii to which Mario manages to deflect the shots. As McCloud reloads, Mario takes the opportunity to take Pauline and hide amongst the smoke. McCloud then sends his men after them. While Kong races back to Mario and Pauline they are thrust into a game of cat and mouse, as McCloud's pirates try to kill them. Mario is able to pick away at the home invaders with the force guiding him through the smoke. The smoke makes the building pitch black, blinding Pauline who must rely heavily on Mario. As Kong finally arrives Mario kills the last of the Pirates. Mario then calls out McCloud who cautiously obliges. The two battle and Mario is shot through both the leg and shoulder, however Mario manages to cut out McCloud's left eye. McCloud retreats though the window as he fires 6 more random blast. As he jumps he activates his Jet pack and Kong brakes through the locked door of the penthouse suite just in time to witness McCloud flee. Kong then looks to Mario who is laying in Pauline's lap. Kong gives Mario a fatherly smile and tells him “You've done good, real good Mario”, Mario then smiles and says "Wa-hoo!" and winces in pain to both Kong and Pauline's amusement.
Delicate Things Edit

With Mario re-injured and unfit for travel the Je'daii are forced to stay on Hapes for another week. Pauline then takes the opportunity to confess her love for Mario, which he reciprocates. Days later their “puppy love” grows weary on Kong, who begins to think of his wife and children whom he left on their home-world of Ferijia, and he leaves to explore Hapes in order to clear his mind. While out, Kong stops a couple of robbers, but is verbally bashed by the people for being a member of the Je'daii and for his species. Choosing to ignore the people he helps up the victim, who upon seeing Kong shouts “Get your hands off me, You Damn Dirty Ape!” Kong then knocks him unconscious and back to the ground. The people of Hapes retaliate by throwing stones at the Je'daii Ranger. Angered by their remorseless actions Kong takes out his Force-imbued blade and slaughters the masses. Once done, he looks upon what he has done, killing every man, woman, and child in the village square, he weeps as he tries to wipe the blood from his hands to no avail. When Kong returns home Mario and Pauline see the amount of blood Kong has upon his robes and notice that it is not his own. Kong tells the worried padawan and his love that he encountered McCloud, and killed him. Pauline gives a sigh of relief but something about the situation doesn't sit well with Mario.
Shattered Bond Edit

Upon the final day on Hapes, Kong is awakened by a vision of his eldest son Funky, who informs his farther that The Barabel ruler Tull Raine and his Barabel army have invaded Ferijia and declared the planet their own. With the sudden news that his family and entire world may be in grave danger, Kong informs Mario that there has been a change in plans. Kong instructs Mario that they need to head to Ferijia instead of returning to Tython with the report of their actives on Hapes. However Mario is then nudged by Pauline which prompts the young padawan to be frank with his master stating “I'm sorry master, but I shan't be going with you, this is where I belong, with Pauline.” Kong gives Mario and Pauline a bewildered look of astonishment and disappointment and begins to speak without hesitation “You'd give up everything for this woman” to which Mario nods in agreement. Kong continues saying “You'd give up your dreams, your friends, your future ! All for a woman you just met a week ago !” Mario reassures his master that the love shared between him and Pauline will be his future, Kong looks at Pauline and spits on the ground as he speaks “Don't be a fool Mario, she doesn't truly love you, she's using you as her personal amusement, a toy, a toy she will eventually grow tired of as all children do, think about your brother Luigi, who idolizes you, how will you inspire him by turning your back on the order. Think about my youngest son Junior, you were there when he was born, will you be there for his funeral as well, because that is what the consequences of your actions will be Mario”. Mario now with his head sunken simply says “I've made my decision” and turns away from his Master back to Pualine's home. Kong whispers to himself “So have I” and then shouts to Mario “ I'm leaving at first light”. Later Pauline apologizes for driving a wedge between Mario and his master to which Mario, frustrated over the situation states “He is an old man and a fool, who knows nothing of which he speaks” Pauline then tries to clam Mario down telling him “Don't be so hard on the brute, he's overcome so much” Mario confused ask his beloved what she is referring to which she blatantly states “his species ofcourse, I mean, to become a Je'daii Ranger being of such an inferior race as apes are, is quite astonishin-” Mario then silences her saying “I think not of such things, as you should not, every man is equal and judged only by his or her worth, that’s about the only thing I’ll miss from the Je'daii Order, the equality”. Pauline then grabs Mario's hand, kisses his cheek and they share a kiss, they then share a night of passion while Kong receives a force vision of his family's death, and Mario standing over his dead body, waking Kong from his sleep in a cold sweat.
Betrayal Edit

When Mario awakes in his beloved's bed he notices that she is not beside him, he rises to find her but Pauline is nowhere to be found. As he wanders her home Mario finds a letter from Pauline telling him that she is sorry, and that she can't force Mario to give up his dreams. Mario desperate to find her searches fanatically for Pauline throughout the city, but to no avail. He runs to his master hoping that he is still there, and relived to find that he is. Mario asks Kong if he has seen Pauline to which Kong tells Mario “No I haven't...I told you this would happen-” Kong is then cut off by Mario who apologizes to his master for ever doubting him and begs Kong for his forgiveness. Kong then helps the heartbroken Mario to his feet and they board the ship. When they arrive on Ferijia all they see is utter chaos with Barabel soldiers hunting down the Ferijian apes. The Je'daii then spring to action striking down the soldiers and saving the woman and her child, they hear more screams and head in that direction. They save more apes and eventually manage to free that village of Barabel presence. The Je'daii then sneak toward Kong's village, killing what Barabel's they could and free more apes along the way. When they finally reach the Kong residence Kong is thankful to find his people have not been subjected to slaves and is impressed with Funky, hearing he valiantly defended the village again, and again. That night Kong called upon every village he and Mario had liberated and organized the Ape Alliance. All the greatest warriors of each tribe enlisted and the council of elders voted Kong to be their commander, with Mario as his lieutenant. They agree to war upon the breaking of dawn and the meeting is adjured. Kong then spends the remaining hours with his wife and children, while Mario insist on being alone in the ship, thinking about Pauline.
The Great Ape WarEdit

The day rises and the Kongo drums of war sound, alerting all nations that the ground will flow with blood. Commander Kong and Mario then lead several raids against the Barabel while Funky leads an air assault to stop those that tried to return to their mothership and gather reinforcements. However the Barabel known as Klump escapes from Funky and manages to inform Tull of the Ferijian resistance. Tull displeased orders his second-in-command, kommander K.Rool to prepare the army against the Ape alliance.
Proper Challenge Edit

The Ferijian Apes battle against several armies of the Barables as the months pass. Going battle after battle the overwhelming population begins to grow weary as the more war trained Barables begin to gain more and more ground against the apes cutting their numbers down to a more equal playing field. The more Mario fought in the war the more transparent the lines between Ashla, the light side of the force, and Boga, the dark side of the force, became. Noticing Mario's more aggressive presence and sensing he is beginning to lose control balancing Ashla and Boga, Kong calls a meeting between commanders and speaks to Kommander K.Rool. Kong tells K.Rool that he challenges the Barabel's ruler Tull to one-on-one combat in hopes their battle could end the war. K.Rool reports back to Tull and Tull accepts, however Tull informs K.Rool that he would only fight the Je'daii Ranger in an even fight with out the advantage of his Force powers or his Force-imbued blade, and that the battle would have to take place on the mothership. When K.Rool reports back to Kong he repeats his ruler's words and Master Kong accepts though the Village elders disagree with the decision. Kong then journeys alone to the Barabel mothership and finally meets Tull face to face. As they express pleasantries and respect, Tull informs Kong how he became the Supreme Ruler of his people, he tells Kong he was a pit-fighting shock boxer, who fought for the crowd, and became their beloved son, sparking a civil war in which he attained power. Tull then has a guard hand Kong a pair of shock gloves, Kong understands and agrees to battle Tull at his own game. The two leaders then travel to the pit-fight arena Tull installed on his ship.
Revelations Edit

As the two begin their battle Kong's strength seems to be no match for the pure speed, training, and experience of Tull as he quickly takes advantage. However the more and more apparent it becomes that this is a fight to the death, Kong's will to live and his need to see his family again, empowers him to keep fighting. Tull becomes increasingly tired and gets more and more sloppy as he spends too much time thinking of how Kong can still fight, let alone stand against him. During this time Kong catches the slick Tull and capitalizes with a vicious uppercut to his jaw, and pounces on the downed Barable. Kong in the mount position bashes Tull viciously with his shock gloves, breaking them as well as Tull's face. However Kong refuses to stop and ends up killing Tull. Angered, the most formidable soldier in the Barabel-army, General Krusha assaults the unsuspecting Je'daii Ranger. As Kong finally gains separation from General Krusha, he activates his distress signal and an air assault led by Funky is launched. As Krusha and Kong battle inside, Funky and the flying apes manage to shoot down the Mothership. As the Mothership begins to crash, Kong and Krusha end their fist fight to run to the escape pods. As they land Krusha hunts down Kong and they continue to brawl. Meanwhile General Klump begins a dogfight with Funky in the air. As Kong and Krusha's blows come to an end Kong force grabs Krusha, bangs him against several trees and flings him into the ocean. Just then Mario witnesses Funky's ship get shot down by Klump, he rushes to his and Kong's Starship and tries to start it, however it is unresponsive as it tells Mario that the ship has too much weight to liftoff. Mario then prepares to empty the hull and as he lifts the door to it he sees the impossible...Pauline.
AftermathEdit
Master vs Padawan Edit

As Kong and the Apes witness the retreat of the Barables they rejoice. Kong notices Funky is not among them and goes off to search for him. He finds him soon after although he is severely injured and has to amputate his son's tail. Kong returns Funky to the Kong house where he is being waited for by Mario. As they enter Mario stands from his chair with tears in his eyes and ignites his Force-imbued blade declaring his master is under arrest. Kong is shocked and ask what Mario is talking about. Pauline then emerges into the room, Mario continues saying “You're under arrest for the kidnapping of Hapan senator Pauline” As Mario began to tell his master his rights Kong asks Mario to understand his situation, that he had to take Pauline out of Mario's life so that he could help save his family. However Mario pays no heed to his master's words and simply asks him “Do you accept your rights or not”. Kong slowly lays his eldest son down and pulls out his Force-imbued blade stating “no” Mario then begins to walk forward and Kong states “Not here, my wife just cleaned this floor. We'll take this outside” as Kong turns out the door he says “Lets see what you've learned boy”. Mario follows Kong and they are encircled after Kong announces that he will duel Mario and under no circumstances are the Apes to interfere or attack Mario if he wins. The Master and the Padawan then duel. Kong's experience easily best Mario's fighting prowess, and he is able to overwhelm Mario with powerful slashes, bashing until Mario loses his blade, however he soon regains it and continues the duel. Mario shows the same resilience Kong did against Tull and soon punishes the exhausted Ferijian, with a barrage of lighting quick attacks that are just as powerful as they are fast. Kong's blade is then dejected from his hand, resulting in Kong using the force. Kong looking for anything to throw at his padawan in order to distance himself from the headstrong Mario, sees a horde of barrels and flings them at him. Mario easily doges them all, jumping over a few and force pushes the last of the barrels back at his Master. However Kong refuses to give anymore ground and they struggle against one another in the force. Kong wins and sends the barrel flying toward Mario who force jumps into the air and slashes a crane caring more barrels. The sliced crane and the now unsecured barrels of stone all fall upon Kong's back, pinning him to the ground. Mario then walks up to Kong and shouts “Do, You...Accept, your Rights!!” Kong remains quite until Mario begins to compress the ruble on top of his Master making him exclaim “YES!!! I ACCEPT!!!” the crowd gathered whisper amongst themselves shocked their great leader has surrendered. Kong's Ferijian warriors begin to walk toward Mario with lethal intent to which Funky, being helped by his mother, tells them to stand down. Mario then arrests his Master.
Great and Unfortunate Things Edit

As Mario and Pauline prepare to leave, they inform the Kong family that Kong will receive a fair trail and allows them to journey with them back to Tython. Once back on Tython Mario tells the Je'daii Council all the events that transpired. Kong then stands trail and is found guilty, and sentenced to life imprisonment in the Prism after a witness of Kong's Massacre on Hapes testifies against him. Kong curses Mario and his family while he is escorted away and spits in Pauline's face. The Kong family unwilling to accept Kong's fate, fly out to the prism and give the force-sensitive 10 year old Donkey Kong Junior his father's Force-imbued blade, instructing him to sneak into the prison and free his convicted father. However Mario is guarding his master's cell suspecting a break out. He is shocked and amused to see the little Donkey Kong although the scared and angered Junior proves himself to be taken seriously as he uses the force to a degree Mario had never suspected at his age. They battle for a minute with Junior being shown as a force prodigy, Mario can feel the overwhelming amounts of midi-chlorians in the boy and decides to end the skirmish as quickly as possible disarming Junior. Mario now with Junior's blade, looks at the crying Junior who keeps calling out “father !!” and allows him to visit his dad. Mario then returns to Tython. Meanwhile Junior uses the force to break the “unbreakable” bars and releases his father. When Mario returns home he goes to his room and as he turns on his lights he sees her....Pauline is laying dead on the bed with her neck snapped, the television then announces Kong's escape. Mario cradles his dead love as he screams “KKKKKKOOOOONNNNGGGGG!!!!!” Just then an Amaran tail is seen leaving to the roof top as a voice is head saying “I always get my man”. The next day is bitter sweet as Mario ceremoniously burns his beloved, and is knighted a Je'daii Journeyer, vowing to make Kong pay for his transgression. Mario then promises his young brother Luigi to take him as his Padawan, once he completes his Journey.
Behind the scenesEdit

The Concept for the Ancient Je'daii Series was developed by J-516 along with his brother J-Fizzel as a joint production in which we brought famous Video Game characters, namely from Nintendo, into our Star Wars Universe. This particular event features a Star Wars retelling of the following characters: Mario, Cranky Kong, Pauline, James McCloud, Funky Kong, K.Rool, General Klump, General Krusha, and Donkey Kong Junior; based off of the 1981 Arcade Game, Donkey Kong and it's 1982 sequel Donkey Kong Junior
 
Deer god

what
 
The bathos in these things is incredible.

With the Je'daii's help, the Diathim embark on a hunt to find their Goddess. During this quest the heroes encounter Wart's right-hand, Mouser, and their minions the Warriors of Shadow. The Warriors capture the fellowship and bring the adventure to a halt, caging them. Mouser and his Warriors of the Shadow unwittingly bring them right to their destination, King Wart's castle. While locked away Mario finally ask why and how are the Diathim on Rhan instead of Iego. Pit informs Mario that the Kanazer Exiles first landed on Iego, when lured by the beauty of a Diathim, but found the planet with out enough natural force to sustain their population, but were interested by the beauty and lure of the Diathim and captured them, bringing them to a more suitable planet, Rhand. Luigi interjects wondering how the Exlies could have captured the Diathim if they were immune to their Mind enslavement. The Champion tells Luigi, that at first the Diathim were susceptible to the Mind tricks, on Iego, but the natural force of Rhand increased the Force potential in the Diathim starting with the first and future Goddess, Palutena, who liberated The Diathim from their captures. Pit then tells the Jedi that he and his family are descendants of the Goddess. Mario brushes the story off as hogwash, but Luigi is captivated. As they finally arrive at the castle, The Je'daii Brothers free them selves and their companions. They then slay the Warriors, however Mouser manages to escape. Pit and the Diathim then leave the Je'daii to search for their Goddess, meanwhile The Je'daii Brothers reach two tunnels leading in opposite directions, Mario takes the left side, and Luigi takes the right, through the right door Luigi sees the Rybet King, Wart, with a sinister grin as Mario opens the left door to see a strange Aku Aku mask, covering the face of his friend Crash. Mario looks at Crash ignite his Forcesaber at him, and says “Oh-a no”
 
IGN ranked Tony Hawk on its February 2009 list of the top ten video game characters who should die,
Click to expand...

LOL! I thought you were quoting vandalism at first, but when I found out that was in an actual article, I just lost it.
 
Is this Great Ape War at all related to that other Great Ape War?
 
well on one hand it has a part where funky gets amputated of his tail, bobby stormwalker, and the bathos is perfectly timed ("KKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG")

on the other hand, this seems really subtle for a trollsona. If someone's going to write something this long for cheap lolz, I'd figure they'd be mroe obnoxious about promoting it...
 
@wall of text

They had to throw in "night of passion", they just had to.
 
Glowsquid said:
I credit General Ironicus for introducing this masterpiece into my life.

ALIGNMENT - GOOD
Click to expand...

ALF Wiki on Melmacian Funeral Customs said:
(PLEASE NOTE: The syndicated/DVD version of the episode "We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert," cuts ALF's explanation of the Melmacian custom of celebrating a person's life at their memorial. Tragically, without this incredibly important piece of information, ALF's motives for throwing the party at Uncle Albert's untimely death seem extremely self-centered and ghoulish.)
Click to expand...
 
http://fantendo.wikia.com/wiki/Donkey_Kong:_The_One_Warrior

Donkey Kong - The One Warrior is a 2011 CGI movie directed by Neill Blomkamp and produced by Peter Jackson , Ridley Scott and Samuel Hadida. The movie is rated PG-13 for violence and frightening images.
Click to expand...

Hans Zimmer composed the score
Click to expand...
 
I really want to see how it happens in the game

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Planet_2

When they reach the spot where their home is supposed to be, they realize it has been buried by the large snowfall and its citizens killed by the rapid temperature drop. The player 1 Waysider notices a giant, glowing orb in the distance and declares "I'm so going to shoot the shit out of you!" and apparently fires at it.
Click to expand...
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Penders

On March 5, 2014, Penders announced on his Twitter account that his characters were no longer echidna but Echyd'nya, an alien species.[12] Penders stated reasons for the change was that he needed to make some adjustments to broaden the audience while making certain longtime fans get answers and resolution and because of the difficulty he has seen with people pronouncing the word echidna.[13]
Click to expand...

Incidentally, the clusterfuck surrounding that guy and Archie's Sawnic comics is very lulzy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back