Flygon64

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I'm going to perform copy and paste RPG Maker surgery, let's hope this works.

DKC characters give me cuteness aggression.


Rareware's renders rock so hard.

NSMB DS's pngs and low poly models and crunchy sound effects have weaseled their way into my heart. Finally played it for the first time, wow was it much more experimental than the 3DS sequel, probably because the public had more lofty expectations for it, given its place in the franchise, makes sense. All the wacky new enemies and level elements, it's got a strong original vision a lot of its siblings lack.

This game was rushed, have you seen those videos about its spaghetti code? I first suspected it when I pressed the jump button, the physics definitely felt off at first, adjusted fast enough though, jank gives it flavor. I said the sound effects were crunchy before but the whole game is... the thing's texture... it's yummy. Those retro fugging sound sfx, the fugging sound mixing, the mixed media graphics... adorbs. This is an insect game, beep boop bug.

3D Land's a good-looking game, I like playing through the compact diorama-like levels, it's endearing. The clean graphic look's sleek, I enjoy when Mario games have just the right amount of abstractness, instead of whatever Odyssey did. It's a thin line to balance, when one of these things lean too far into one direction, hyper fidelity or rudimentary simplicity, the world quickly ceases to be meaningful to me.

Super Mario 64 and Super Mario 64 DS are my best example of what I mean. N64, too many flat colors, too geometric it's nothing to me but a wacky digital sandbox to blast through, it's a fun toy. DS, there's texture, there's life, but it's not real life, it's a cartoon, there's still clear deliberateness and artifice to its pieces but no longer am I looking at glue, I'm appreciating the world's stitches. My favorite Mario games are like sweaters, does that make sense? Don't answer that. I can vibe in them, they're satisfying, that's as well as I can phrase it. If the game's not a sweater it should be a cute little insect I can admire in my palm, pretty much everything in-between feels awkward. This applies to more than Mario actually, it applies to my taste in video games in general... Similes. Tangents. 3D Land's a good-looking game that found a sweet spot.

Playing a GBA game can feel like playing a high-quality old web game to me, I attribute that to the midi music mostly and the higher fidelity than the console's predecessor but not too high-fidelity graphics, also the fact both of those were used for actual fan web media of the 2000s EVERYWHERE. A more personal factor is that the first games I emulated were GBA games some summer vacation very long ago on a crappy laptop. Playing A Link to The Past and hearing Ocarina of Time's Link's bitcrushed voice is so silly and cute, I love the advance ports, they encapsulate the feeling perfectly. Listening to god-awful quality audio over this pixel art from forever ago, it's someone's idea of "advanced" from years relatively NOT so long ago and I love it.

Gave SMB3 another chance and now I wish Nintendo expanded on the style of inventory system in that game. Being able to use your items from the Toad Houses and the overworld encounters to unlock shortcuts makes item management an actual thing to consider, it contributes so much of the fun of navigating the map along with the more non-linear structure in general including the warp pipes and road forks. Honestly, playing through the title again made me like Super Mario World even less, large downgrade in many respects.

A little while back I was able to finish all two Robopon games, mediocre Pokemon clones, these games aren't underrated, they're rightfully ignored. Quick review.

Robopon 1 on GBC is just... such a miserable tedious experience. Every battle feels like it takes a millennium, EVEN WITH FAST-FORWARD ON AN EMULATOR! The absurdly high encounter rate of the dungeons doesn't help matters... Imagine, if you will, Pokemon battles where you need to buy and equip items to give your critters moves and instead of having a single PP amount for each move a single monster has, all its moves share one. Now, I saw some potential in that but the whole deal is too obtuse and tedious for its own good. Also if your Robopon faints? You can't use it again until you Game Over.


Does the story save it? It's my favorite part of it by far but... hell no.

Now, what separates this game from Pokemon is its irreverence, it knows you don't care, it even hates itself too. Instead of going to gyms to prove your Pokemon trainer skills and becoming the best there ever was, you have to battle Robopon Elites from the bottom of the ranks until you reach the top. Does that sound familiar? The difference is you don't who the elites are and where they are, you have to find them and make them drag their bums to the singular arena in the game so you can duke them. There aren't any routes, you use a world map to move from town to town to find the peeps.

This changes the story structure a lot and generally for the worse, every beat feels super contrived, and the game literally doesn't give a damn, it's so hilariously flagrant and I can't help but respect that a bit lol. Like, you'll defeat the big boss and then he'll just go "Man, gee wilkers, you got me, Elite8. Welp, that's it. Sure hope you don't VISIT BLUEBERRY LANE AND THEN ENTER THE CAVE OF THE MUFFIN MAN AND MURDER THE MUFFIN MAN AND BECOME ELITE 7. ". The writers made up everything as they went along so it's a bit unpredictable, the twists and turns can be mildly amusing, it's like playing a cynical comedy kids' anime from the 2000s, it's not SUPER funny though, a lot of jokes get played out for too long. After your ten millionth tedious maze story segment the novelty wears off.

The worldbuilding doesn't make any sort of sense. There are robots hanging out in the depths of the ocean, caves, forests, for no reason at all. It doesn't care. Whatever. Capture and fight with'em. Marginally more humane than Pokemon? Meh... The characters are flat, which would BE fine if they were at all entertaining, they aren't.

The art is... just edited Pokemon sprites for the overworld elements, I was dumbfounded by it when I played the game for the first time. Like, wow, is this even legal? Lmao?? The battle art is pretty cute tho, most of the designs are mediocre, many of them are too humanoid, some like Sunny are adorbs.


Robopon 2 was a LARGE improvement but ended up being alright at most for me, still, I think it deserves a more thorough breakdown.

On that note I'd like to briefly shout out a more promising GBC Pokemon inspired title.



Telefang, it's like if GSC and Link's Awakening had a baby, it's so forward thinking for a game of its time and has had such a good and quick pace so far.
It's the best looking, sounding, and running GBC game I've ever played, it'll shock you. Check out this site for more info, now this is what I would call underrated.

Pokemon Let's Go is so uncanny, here, navigate this unaltered Gameboy level design in 3D with analog controls. This game is a creature made of the decaying bones of RGBY, adorned with new lab-grown flesh, which Gamefreak decided to inject with a needle of Pokemon Go, with nothing inside that hollow worn out skull of its. Gen 1 without the bugs and glitches and sharp edges that make it interesting to look back on. I sure am talking a lot about ancient Nintendo RPGs and their remakes...

I guess I became a DQ fan at the right time, lmao.

I wonder how much the games are gonna be reworked, I think something more than a new shiny coat of paint and some new QOL is due.

Then again... These games are SUPER rudimentary by today's standards, how much can you change without it making them completely different games? People who weren't around for the 80s play Dragon Quest 1+2 today to experience a piece of history, they aren't really fun in isolation, they're fun to study to learn the roots of so many JRPG concepts we take for granted. Frankly, any version of these games is NOT worth $60 imo, which Square Enix is probably going sell these at anyway. I would recommend buying the versions already out on Switch for like less than $7 or waiting for some big sale when these drop.

ORRRRR... You can emulate the FC originals, here, once you get your legally obtained roms from your dumpster of NES games you have, apply these patches to remove the censorship of the original NES English releases. 1 and 2. If you're new to emulation, take this guide made by the creator of fantasyanime.com, check out the main site if you're interested in playing and learning about more classic JRPGS.

ORRR... Instead of playing the FC originals or the mobile version ports, you can play the Super Nintendo remake bundle, sporting reworked graphics and sound that don't look/sound archaic or cheap and has QOL features! Just get yourself a rom and apply this English Patch!


These essays delve deeper into this series' historical significance. There are technically story spoilers but... these games stories aren't really that special, the real appeal is in the journey of making the story happen if that makes sense.

ANYWAY.

Romancing Saga 2 remastered on Switch, woo! I've been wanting to delve more into that series sometime.

Rhythm Heaven, epic.

Tomodachi Life 2, yippee.

Undertale is 99 cents on Steam. Deltarune Tomorrow real.

Dragon Quest is like the Super Mario of JRPGs, playing through this series has been so illuminating, so many of the common design tropes make sense now.

"Actually SMRPG is!" shhh.

Criminally underdiscussed, I've been vibing with its emphasis on ludonarrative over the more traditional storytelling of something like Final Fantasy, well of the games I've played of both series so far anyway. The first two DQ games are super archaic, haven't aged quite as well as SMB1 or SMB2USA, still better than Lost Levels!

Back from being at the hospital for like... Multiple weeks.