Good wishes aren't always good wishes

[Stirghetti]

Your wish is granted. Mario Kart Tour's entire history and knowledge of its existence has been transcribed into your DNA - ready to be accessed at any moment.

I wish that I didn't have to work a full time job.

 

[LED42]

Granted, now it's an all-time job.

I wish for a duh-nut.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, it's a wheel

I wish my TV's screen wasn't broken (the colours are just so bad.)

 

[saltypepper]

Granted, you only have 2 channels, one which is just static, and one which is Spanish, with no English captions.

I wish I was passing school with no effort

 

[J-Yoshi64]

Granted. You didn't learn anything and can't be a functional member of society.

I wish I had some cake.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, it tastes horrible.

I wish for a nice Mario Kart Tournament with Mario.

 

[TinTinfinite]

Granted. Mario is unable to attend, due to his busy duties.

I wish Pauline will be a new playable character in Mario Tennis Aces.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, but she's very slow and weak.

I wish for a playable Cappy in Mario Kart.

 

[saltypepper]

Granted, he doesn't have hands, so he isn't able to drive.

I wish I had orange juice

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, but a cockroach fell in it.

I wish for the Koopa Clown car in another Mario game.

 

[TinTinfinite]

Granted. Bowser can't walk anymore, and he's forced to ride his Clown Car in future games.

I wish for 10 months = 1 year.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, but now, there's no December. So no Christmas.

I wish for a chest full of gold.

 

[J-Yoshi64]

Granted, your heart and lungs get replaced by gold. Therefore, you have a chest full of gold.

I wish there could be another fully-fledged Mario Baseball game.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted. It'll get released 10000000000 years later.

I wish I had a dog. It's actually

Spoiler

Poochie

 

[London Parris]

Granted, but it leaves you alone and doesn't play with you.
I wish I could turn back time.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted. Now you're stuck in the stone age.

I wish for Cappy in Smash Bros.

 

[Yoshi the SSM]

Granted, he is on Mario's head and not an actual playable character.

I wish Luigi's Mansion was on the Switch instead of the 3DS.

 

[Teedgee]

(Actually even I wish for that)
Granted, but the controls are super annoying.

I wish I could ask Nintendo about stuff on the Switch not being in my country.

 

[LED42]

Granted, you get the opportunity to ask them. However, they just ignore you.

I wish I had a new TV.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, someone steals it.

I wish for KSA (Kirby Star Allies)

 

[London Parris]

Granted, but it won't work.

I wish that I could sleep less often.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, now you can't even blink, so you can't see anything.

I wish I could fly.

 

[LED42]

Granted, you are suddenly teleported to an airplane in middle of a flight.

I wish I had a refreshing can of soda.

 

[London Parris]

Granted, but it tastes bad.

I wish I could Listen to Johnny Hallyday's songs everyday.

 

[Teedgee]

Granted, now it's turning into an earrape.

I wish I could copy like Kirby.