Favorite TV Quotes

" (...) Because if it is, Back off b*tch!"
- New Christine, The New Adventures of Old Christine.
Not a fan of the series, it's just hilarious to me.
 
Niles: "Mr. Sheffield seems to think their talk went rather well."
Fran: "Niles, Mistah Sheffield thinks CC goes horseback riding for the exercise." ~The Nanny xD

Random tap dancers hired by Niles: "Fran and Maxwell are engaged and looks like you're a loser, they'll be happy all their days and you'll become a boozer!" ~The Nanny ;D
 
Niles: "Why don't you just tell him how old you really are?"
Fran: "Why don't you just take a dip in the Dead Sea with a hemorrhoid? ~The Nanny

*a little while after Fran accidentally walked in on Mr. Sheffield in the shower*
Mr. Sheffield: "Miss Fine, surely you must understand this whole episode has been a little embarrassing for me."
Fran: "Oh, come on, Mistah Sheffield, you don't have to be ashamed. I didn't see anything."
Mr. Sheffield: "Good."
Fran: "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. BELIEVE ME! ;)" ~The Nanny xD
 
Patrick: Spongebob, I invented a stick that you can write stuff and draw with.
Spongebob: That’s a pencil Patrick, its already been invented.
Patrick: Spongebob, I invented a glass ball that lights up.
Spongebob: That’s a light bulb, already invented.
Patrick: Spongebob, I’ve invented a parallel universe!
Spongebob: That’s a mirror, Patrick. Its already been invented.
Patrick: Oh somebody keeps stealing my ideas!
Spongebob’s reflection: (with an accent) Well, I thought it was a pretty good idea.

Flying Dutchman: OK Krabs, I’ll let you stay, but help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between Spongebob and all the money I had in my pocket, which would you pick?
Mr. Krabs: That depends, how much money we talking about?
Spongebob: Mr. Krabs?
Dutchman: 62 cents.
Mr. Krabs: I’ll take the money.
Spongebob: MR. KRABS?!
Dutchman: Here you go Krabs. 62 cents. Next stop, Davey Jones’ locker!
Mr. Krabs: Look Squidward, money!
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but how could you trade Spongebob for 62 cents?!
Mr. Krabs: You think I could’ve gotten more?
Squidward: He stuck up for you and you sold him out, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
Mr. Krabs: What have I done?! I lost me frycook! I don’t want this foul money! I want Spongebob back!
Dutchman: Here! Take him back!
Mr. Krabs: You heard what I said about the money?
Dutchman: Heard what you said, I couldn’t even hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for 10 seconds and its jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that. Why not giving him back is a fate worse than death.

Sandy: That is it Squarepants! We’re gonna find something that’s so dang fun, you’ll have to come outside! Trampoline!
Patrick: Ice cream!
Sandy: Ferris Wheel!
Patrick: 2 ice creams!
Sandy: Underwater surfing!
Patrick: Still 2 ice creams!
Sandy: Clam…wrestling!
Patrick: Washing an old person.
Sandy: Patrick that’s not fun!
Old fish: It is for me.
~Spongebob

Flanders: Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all!
Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders!
~!The Simpsons
 
Mr. Sheffield: "What kind of car does he drive?"
Fran: "A limo."
Mr. Sheffield: "Towncar?"
Fran: "Stretch. It's enormous."
Mr. Sheffield: "Bigger than mine?"
Fran: "..... Look, if it's so important to you, why don't you whip yours out of the garage and we'll have a limo-measuring contest!" ~The Nanny

Fran: "I need to ask you for some time off. I gotta get off early on Thursday; I've got a date, which means I gotta gel, mousse, pluck, blend... Ugh! I tell ya, I'll be glad when this natural look is OUT."
Mr. Sheffield: "Uh-huh. Now, *to CC* this is how to negotiate with someone who works for you that wants something. Watch and learn. *to Fran* Alright, Miss Fine, I'll let you off early on Thursday if you stay late on Sunday."
Fran: "Well, I can't stay late on Sunday, but I can start late on Sunday and work my regular hours Monday Tuesday and Wednesday because you gave me Thursday off."
Mr. Sheffield: "No no, I didn't give you Thursday off, I just said that you could leave early."
Fran: "Oh, alright. I'll leave early on Thursday but I still got Sunday off."
Mr. Sheffield: "No, you're coming in late."
Fran: "Oh, alright already!"
CC: "How does she do that to him?"
Niles: It's a female thing, you wouldn't understand." ~The Nanny (classic Fran Fine-patented male manipulation)
 
"Are you going to tell us how you became Betty Boob?"
---Phoebe Halliwell, talking about Paige's new breast. Hell Hath No Fury
 
Nelson: We're trapped in the school!
Students: Ahh!
Milhouse: We're gonna miss Christmas!
Students: Ahh!
Skinner: I fixed the DVD! ;D
Students: AHHHHHHHH!!!!
~The Simpsons

Short Fuse: Forget it, Chin. That cage is indestructible from the inside.
Crimson Chin: Just the inside, not the outside? That's pretty small thinking don't you think?
Short Fuse: SMALL?! (blows up and destroys the Crimson Chin's cage)
Crimson Chin: Great job little idiot, they should call you the l'idiot!

Nega-Chin: You may have defeated me Crimson Chins, but I'll be back! I swear it!
Crimson Chin: You can't swear, only the super-edgy 1985 Crimson Chin can swear.
80's Chin: Yeah, and I got cancelled for it!

Timmy: Oh, no! That was the Nega-Chin and I told you to give him whatever he wished for! What did he wish for?
Cosmo: One, all of his super villain buddies out of the book.
Wanda: Two, immunity from being wished back into the book.
Cosmo: Three, our magic couldn't touch him or his pals, and four, hey, I counted to four!
Wanda: His fourth wish was that you couldn't wish your room clean.
Timmy: That fiend!
~Fairly Odd Parents
 
Fran: "Just because I was mugged doesn't mean I'm gonna be afraid to face the world outside that door or anything. *opens door* GO! GO! STAY LOW TO THE GROUND! SERPENTINE! SERPENTINE! LOOK OUT FOR THAT SCARY GUY! Oh, it's just you, Niles. Get in here. Did you get the stuff?"

Niles: "Yes. Hairspray, breath spray, and pepper spray. What say we switch the labels and give them to Miss Babcock?"

Fran: "Niles, I've been victimized here! I don't have time to watch you torture Miss Babcock!...... I'd take pictures." ~The Nanny


Maggie: "Fran, remember that gorgeous guy I was telling you about?
Fran: "Oh honey, that's like asking me if I remember when they cut up my credit card."
Maggie: "Jeremy Thatcher, math third period, hair like Brad Pitt."
Fran: "Up to speed!"
Maggie: "Well-"
Mr. Sheffield: *walks over* "Hello, sweetheart!"
Maggie: "... Hi dad! .........."
Fran: "...."
Mr. Sheffield: "Oh, sweetheart, there's nothing you can't share with your father!"
Maggie: "...."
Fran: "Uhm.... It's a female thing!"
Mr. Sheffield: *quickly* "Carry on!" *leaves*
Fran: "Boy, if they ever run outta starter flags at the Indy 500, all they gotta do is say 'It's a female thing' and watch those men take off!" ~The Nanny
 
Homer: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Flanders: That was the loudest profanity I ever heard.
~ The Simpsons

Joey: Grab your brillo and your broom.
Everyone else except Danny and Michelle: Grab your brillo and your broom.
Joey: Danny is a loony toon.
Everyone Else: Danny is a loony tune.
~Full House

Numbuh 1: Its okay Numbuh 3, we'll get you some new toys.
Numbuh 3: Toys? I don't want toys, I WANT REVENGE!!!
Numbuh 4: What's the big deal? No one got hurt.
Numbuh 3: Say that again squirt, and then we'll see if nobody's hurt!
~Kids Next Door
 
Phoebe: I'm an empath... I, am an empath, that's my new power *smiles excited*
Piper: Do you blow things up too?
----Phoebe Halliwell talking about her new power, to a recently memory-erased Piper.
 
Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE! *strangles Bart*
Homer, Bart, and some fishermen: SHIIIIIIIII-PWRECK!
~The Simpsons

Numbuh 4: Ugh, sounds like Numbuh 2.
Numbuh 2: But, I’m right here.
Numbuh 1: Gotcha! Now I’m gonna flush you back where you came from! AHH! HELP ME!
Numbuh 4: You’re next in command, you go in and help him!
Numbuh 5: Are you outta your mind?! Uh, you can do it Numbuh 1, I know you got it in you.
Numbuh 3: Maybe he needs a magazine.
Numbuh 1: This underwear is killing me!
Numbuh 2: Oh I know what you mean, mine bunches up all the time, even the ones with the little rockets on it.
Numbuh 1: No, you don’t understand, its EVIL!

Numbuh 1: How did you know I was leaving?
Numbuh 2: Well, science nerds kind of stink at keeping secrets from each other, so I put some stuff together for your trip, all the essentials, Yipper comics, a couple of boxes of chewy pellets and some new 2X4 tech stuff I’ve been working on, probably useless compared to what these galactic guys have, but you never know.
Numbuh 1: I’m sure your inventions will be way better Hoagie.
Numbuh 2: I wish we were going with you, everything’s gonna be new and exciting for you and everything here’s gonna be the same except you won’t be with us.
Numbuh 1: I’ll be with you, even if I’m a million, trillion light years away. Good bye old friend.
Numbuh 2: Good Luck Nigel.
Numbuh 3: So what are we gonna do tomorrow Numbuh 1?
Numbuh 1: Um, I’m not going to be here Numbuh 3.
Numbuh 3: Oh, well how about the day after that?
Numbuh 1: Let me explain Kuki,
Numbuh 3: Oh I know you’re leaving silly! What do you think I am an airhead or something?
Numbuh 1: Never for a second.
Numbuh 3: I’m gonna miss you a lot Numbuh 1.
Numbuh 1: I’m gonna miss you too Kuki.
Numbuh 4: So this it then huh? You’re leaving us.
Numbuh 1: Wally, its not like that.
Numbuh 4: I know, I know, you gotta go save space kids up in Canada and stuff. But what about us here on Earth? We need you too you know.
Numbuh 1: I guess the Kids Next Door think they need me more out there.
Numbuh 4: Yeah well, if you need any help you’ll call right? Cause you know we’ll come running right?
Numbuh 1: Of course I know, you take care all right?
Numbuh 4: Yeah, see ya.
Numbuh 5: Look at you, best operative on the planet, and to think I had to convince you not to quit this morning.
Numbuh 1: Well, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t even be in the Kids Next Door in the first place.
Numbuh 5: Oh please, they would’ve found you eventually. I mean these guys did. Look, are you sure you want to do this? You don’t have to go.
Numbuh 1: You know I can’t pass this up, I mean you’re only a kid once, right? So this means you’re in charge of Sector V again.
Numbuh 5: Oh no no no, uh uh uh uh uh.
Numbuh 1: I’m not giving you a choice this time, we else is gonna take care of the guys?
Numbuh 5: But-
Numbuh 1: Abby, we both know you’re the only one on this team with any real sense, while I’m screaming that we’re being invaded by tiny kid-eating leeches falling from the sky, you’re the one telling me its only snowing. You were a way better leader than I ever was, so lead Sector V.
Numbuh 5: But it won’t be Sector V without you.
Numbuh 1: It was before and it will be after. All right guys, even if we never see each other again, I want you to promise me one thing; that you’ll never grow up, even if you’re 100 years old and don’t remember a thing about our times together. You’ll still be a kid at heart all right? So who’s with me?!
Numbuh 5: Five!
Numbuh 4: Four!
Numbuh 3: Three!
Numbuh 2: Two!
Numbuh 1: One! KIDS NEXT DOOR! Good bye.
~ Kids Next Door
 
Luigi: Mario, we're losing!
Mario: It's time to use the Blue Turtle Shell, no?
Luigi: Do it, you magnificent stereotypical bastard
Wario: The Blue Turtle Shell is Mario Kart racer's most ultimate weapon! It magically seeks the lead care in the race, and it takes it out, muah hah hah.
~Robot Chicken

Speed Racer: It's important that I do not move because if I were to move that would add to the cost and so staying perfectly still would be preferable to moving because animation costs money-hhuuuuuuaahhhhh?
~Robot Chicken

Wanda: I don't speak Spanish
Cosmo: Spanish? I can hardly understand English!
~The Fairly Oddparents

Wanda: Wow, this human stuff is fun. We should have tried driving years ago!
Cosmo: Yeah, and look how many friends you're making!
*angry crowd in a destroyed city is shown*
~The Fairly Oddparents
 
Niles: "Listen to me, listening to you and that silly psychic. This is ridiculous. Your hormones are going crazy. Your mood swings are all over the place. Your ankles are so swollen you can't even-- Oh, my God, he IS going to leave you for her!" ~The Nanny

Fran Drescher: "Hello, I'm Fran Drescher, I'm checking in."
Fran Sheffield: :O "Hi! Excuse me, Ms. Fran Drescher, but I am your biggest fan!"
Fran Drescher: "Oh, thank you!"
Fran Sheffield: "Oh my God, you really DO talk like that!"
Fran Drescher: "Who would make this up?"
Fran Sheffield: *typical Fran laugh* "So, I see you're into the flat hair in real life. Yeah, it's not for you."
Fran Drescher: "Oh, do you think it makes me look fat?"
Fran Sheffield: "The bigger the hair, the smaller the hips!"
Niles: "She learned that from your show. Tell me something, what's the butler like? Is he as funny in person? I think he steals the whole show."
Fran Drescher: :l
Fran Sheffield: "Can I interject? I thought you were so fabulous in My Cousin Vinny! Where do you keep your Oscar?"
Fran Drescher: "Uh, at Marisa Tomei's house." :l
Fran Sheffield: *oopsie*
Fran Drescher: "Are you two here on vacation?"
Niles: "Oh, no, we're here spying on her husband, who is having an affair with my girlfriend."
Fran Drescher: "We did that very same story this season!"
Fran Sheffield: "Really? I didn't see that! When was it on?"
Fran Drescher: "Now! And don't forget to watch the series finale next week!"
Fran Sheffield: "Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world, unless that's the night I'm having my twins!"
Fran Drescher: ;D
Fran Sheffield: ;)
~The Nanny (my favorite fourth-wall scene ever)
 
"Lady Godiva: If you, could only... *takes off her clothes* listen to me!
Sisters: Oh Wow!
Piper : Woman... Keep your clothes on, this is a family show, really"
---Piper Halliwell breaking the Fourth Wall on Season 7.
 
Bart: Isn't it ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas instead of-
Marge: Bart!

Homer: Everybody in the USA hates their stupid neighbor, he's Flanders and he's really really lame. Flanders tried to wreck my song, his views on birth control are wrong, I hate him and Flanders is his name. (Later) If you despise polite left-handers-
Flanders (listening on his car radio and singing along): Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders or his creppy little off spring Rod and Todd.
Rod and Todd: That's us, hooray!
~The Simpsons

Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door Battle Stations! One!
Numbuh 2: Two!
Numbuh 3: Three!
Numbuh 4: (moans in pain)
Numbuh 5: Man, he does not look too good!
~Kids Next Door
 
Herr Shyguy said:
Solar Man said:
"Silence, you worms! I AM King Piccolo! Reincarnated! Let it be known throughout the world... As SOON as I dispose of Goku, I will be your king once again! Not ONLY has King Piccolo been reborn, but his reign of TERROR as well! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, that's right! Run! RUN! HAHAHAHA!"

~Self-explanitory
Click to expand...
It was Trunks, right?
Click to expand...
It was eatheir king piccolo, or piccolo Jr.
Trunks won't say that.
Or would he :evilgrin:
 
Spongebob: Go ahead Mr. K
Mr. Krabs: *whisper whisper*
Spongebob: I'm making a complete what of myself?
Mr. Krabs: *whisper whisper*
Spongebob: The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen?
Mr. Krabs: *whisper whisper*
Spongebob: And now its worse becuase I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?

Spongebob: I got something to say about Mr. Krabs! (bumps into King Neptune) Pardon me, miss. I have worked for Mister Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss.
Mr. Krabs: You see? A great boss.
Spongebob: I now realize that he's a great big jerk! I deserved that Manager's job! But you didn't give it to me, you said I was just a kid. Well I'm 100% MAN, and this MAN has got something to say to you. (blows raspberry) There I think I made my point.
Neptune: Does anyone else have anything they'd like to add? No? (sets Krabs on fire)
Mr. Krabs: Me pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire!
Spongebob: I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager is worth killing Mr. Krabs.
Neptune: Quiet you. Mr. Krabs stole my crown and that is why he must die.
Spongebob: Doesn't it seem a little bit harsh to kill someone over a crown?
Netpune: You don't understand, my crown enables whoever wears it to rule the sea and just between you and me, my hair is thinning a bit.
Spongebob: Oh your highness I'm sure its not that noticab-bald bald bald bald!
Fish: BALD BALD BALD BALD!
One Fish: MY EYES!
~Spongebob Movie
 
Cosmo: And now I'm going to live up to my escape artist days!
*Wanda disappears*
Cosmo: Wanda! Come back! You are only ignoring me because you love me! Wow, you must really love me.
~The Fairly Oddparents

Patrick: I'm going back to work!
Spongebob: WORK!?
*Spongebob opens Patrick's rock*
Spongebob: So? This is work?
Patrick: You know, it is not what it seems. Sometimes, I lose the remote. Sometimes, I have to fix the antenna. And sometimes, my butt itches real bad.
Spongebob: Well, here's your briefcase!
*dumps contents into Patrick*
Patrick: Soo, this is the thanks I get for working overtime.
Spongebob: OVERTIME!!???
~Spongebob Squarepants

Vicky: Hello Dimmsdale, this is Double T. in the morning saying, I'm not a big strong man. I'm just twerpy Timmy Turner using a fancy microphone. I tricked all of you into this. All parents are MORONS!
Timmy: Hey you can't say "moron" on the radio, you can only say it on TV.
Vicky (as the radio): I like ponies and unicorns with long eyelashes. And if you want to tear me from limb to limb, my studio is located in a treehouse just behind Timmy's house.
~The Fairly Oddparents
 
Neptune: As for you, be back with my crown in exactly 10 days.
Patrick: He can do it in 9!
Neptune: 8.
Patrick: 7.
Neptune: 6.
Spongebob and Mr. Krabs: PATRICK!
~Spongebob Movie

Major Monogram: My whole world is the screen...(End Logo cuts him off) OH COME ON!

Major Monogram: Your new nemesis is The Regurgitator
Carl: We keep pushing him down, but he keeps coming back up.
Major Monogram: Carl! That's not funny, that's just disgusting.
Carl: You laughed earlier.
Major Monogram: That was a pity laugh.

Doofenshmirtz: I know! I'll get out the same way Perry the Platypus did. (attempts to flush himself down the toilet but causes the toilet to clog and toiler water overflows) Oh, OH! That didn't work at all! Now I REALLY got to do the laundry!
~Phineas and Ferb
 
Squidward: Well, it's the last day and since we started, we haven't improved.
*Patrick chews on instrument*
Squidward: But I have theory. People talk loud when they want to be smart, right?
Plankton: CORRECT!
Squidward: So if we play loud, people might think we're good! Are you ready? And a one. And a two. And a one two three-
*people play extremely loudly; breaks windows*
Squidward:...ok, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.
 
I love the Simpsons ones, but I only can put them in Spain Spanish... I'll see if someone can guess them... ¬v¬

Homer: Póngame uno de esos y de beber: Albóndigas.
--
Rex Banner: Sé que estás por ahí Barón de la Birra... y algún día, daré contigo.
Homer: Que te lo has creído!
Rex Banner: Claro que me lo he creído!
Homer: Ni hablar!
--
Homer: Operadora! Cuál es el número del 911?
--
Homer (to Lisa): A mí qué van a lavarme el cerebro! matar a esta niña, matar a esta niña, matar a este niña...
--
Homer: Ya sé que no suelo rezar pero si estás allí por favor... Sálvame Superman!!

These are few of my faves...
 
Raphael: I guess you could call it fate, but I finally found someone as angry as I am. My name is Raphael and the bozo in the hockey mask is about to find out just how angry I can REALLY be.

2003 Leonardo: So how do you guys normally handle these situations?
1980 TMNT: Turtle Power! (charge into battle)
2003 Michalangelo: Don't you just love these guys? Cowabunga1
1980 TMNT: Cowabunga!
2003 Raphael: Geez! Its like having 5 Mikeys now!
~TMNT

Future Lisa: WHY YOU LITTLE! You've ruined my life! (strangles future Bart)
Present Day Lisa: You're going to ruin my life! (strangles Present Day Bart)

Marge: (after watching an Itch & Scratchy cartoon) What kind of warped human being would find that funny?!
Homer: AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
~The Simpsons
 
*Brighton and Fran walk in the door, Brighton is injured after a soccer game*
Fran: "Alright, honey, just hold up your nose. You're leaving a trail of blood even the OJ jury couldn't ignore."
Elizabeth: "Lord, what happened?"
Brighton: "We won!"
Elizabeth: "CC, call a doctor!"
Fran: "Oh, no, it's okay, the coach said he's fine. Just to watch out if he vomits or falls for no reason. Alright, sweetie, go upstairs and get cleaned up, but scream if your shoulder blade pops out again!"
Elizabeth: "Miss Fine."
Fran: "Yeah?"
Elizabeth: "Where were you when the boy was brutalized?"
Fran: "I was schmearing eggs on the other team's bus!" ~The Nanny :)
 
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