Favorite TV Quotes

"Run, daddy, run! She's being surreptitious!"

--Chris, Everybody Hates Chris




Tonya: Oooh, I'm tellin'...

Drew: Shut up, Tonya

Narrarator: Usually when Tonya said she was telling, that meant I was getting in trouble. But I didn't care. All I wanted to do was slap the black off of Drew.

[Cutaway]

[Drew is shown being carted on a stretcher]

Officer: What happened?

Policeman: Looks like the older brother came home, found his little brother kissing his woman, and slapped the black off him. [Shows a plastic bag to Officer]

Officer: Is this the black? [examines the brownish material in the bag]

Policeman: All we could find

Officer: So much for brotherly love.
 
On Amazing Race, they were at a WWI re-enactment in France, and that Miss Teen South Carolina girl and her BF saw the planes.

Brent: "Whoa, they're up there in flying things!"
Caite: "Wow, that's so cool!"

Then, on The Soup:

Joel McHale: "North Carolina was first in flight. South Carolina was first in line to see Paul Blart, Mall Cop."
 
Donna: "You said we should get Jr. to make more friends, blah blah blah, sat on my nuts."

-The Cleveland Show
 
"How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!" - Kramer, Seinfeld
 
"Turn off that clock, boy, you can't tell time when you sleep. That's two cents an hour!"
 
"Where's Chris?
I knocked him into next week...he'll be back on Tuesday."

"Ooh, I'm telling!
Now who you gonna tell? We're all sitting right here."

"You look like a crackerjack box with a bad prize inside" - Drew Carey, Whose Line is it Anyway
 
"You are mmmhmmm going on mmmhmmm..."

Lois, forgetting Meg's age at her birthday party.
 
"Hey little white dude who's staying across the street, lemme hold a dollar.
Here
Thanks
I just got a nickname!
You just got robbed.
COOL!"
 
"Meowth: See, with me here standing guard [disguised as a Sunflora], the twerps will be lulled into a false sense of security.

James: I'll lull you with my fist!

Meowth: Er... okay, but violence sure ain't gonna solve any of your problems." - Pokémon
 
Piccolo has one "l" in it.

"You're STILL a brainless idiot who knows ONLY how to destroy! You'd think a man with YOUR level of skill would know when to call it quits! YOU BALD-HEADED BUFFOON! I recommend you skip town, Nappa. Immediately! Unless you'd like to be killed by me again."

~Vegeta, Dragon Ball GT
 
"K'nuckles: Hey you there!

Guy 1: Me?

K'nuckles: Yes, come here.

Guy 1: One second guys, someone needs me for something. *walks over to K'nuckles and Flapjack*

K'nuckles: Okay, Flap.

*Flapjack walks in a circle*

Guy 1: So what?

K'nuckles: Is this a girl or a boy?

Guy 1: Er... a boy?

Flapjack: He thinks I'm a boy, he thinks I'm a boy! :D

Guy 1 [angerly]: HEY! YOU DRESSED YOUR GIRL UP LIKE A BOY! WHY'D YOU DRESS YOUR GIRL UP LIKE A BOY?!

Guy 2: Thomas! Thomas!

Guy 3: Come back, it's not worth it!" - The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack
 
"It's been a long time, Goku! And you've gotten SO much cuter since then..."

~Frieza, Dragon Ball GT

"Rather than fight, why not work for me? You could shine my shoes, big boy."

~Piccolo, Dragon Ball
 
"Hank: I can't believe I've lied to my boss. I should've murdered the emu.

*camera pans over to one of the the emu sitting in the front seat of Dale's truck*

Dale: Aw, look at Fuzzy. It looks like he's driving. :3" - King of the Hill
 
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 'Has anybody seen my arm!? You can't miss it, it's GREEN!!!'"

~Raditz's attempt at making fun of Piccolo after his arm came off in Dragon Ball Z

"Your power is laughable! It doesn't even come CLOSE to mine!"

~Raditz, Dragon Ball Z (again)

"Kakarot, you're a FOOL! How do expect to hold me AND dodge the beam at the same time!?"

~Same

"NO mere mortal can equal ME in power!"

~Android 17, Dragon Ball Z
 
"Tragic, TRAGIC!"

--Mr. Omar
 
"He must be a king!"

"How can you tell?"

"He hasn't got sh*t all over him."

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
 
Julius: "Rochelle, I got Michael Jackson tickets!"

Rochelle: "I'll get ready!"

Drew: "Ma, my eyeball fell out"

Rochelle: "Damn!"
 
"If the Earth died, that would be tragic, but I sure'd like to sell that coffin!"
 
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