"My friends and not friends, I must burden you all with some sad, sad news. You see, my previous testimonies have had wonderful works of art attached to them, made by my employee. However, as the Studio is all but void of paint, this can no longer be done, unfortunately. I am sorry to say, but... art is dead."
"But! Do not fret!"
"For I, Jackson B. Humorus, am prepared as always! I shall fill the gaps left by those pieces with some reusable promotional renders that I keep on my person at all times in case something like this would ever happen to a perfect specimen such as I! This will enrich my testimony in the same way that the art did, I have zero doubts! Now, without further ado, let me discuss my night. Much of it was preparing for the dangers to come!"
"I started by... waking up, duh. I exited my dorm to find the
bespectacled fraud and the
fire rat duking it out!
Fire rat was winning, by the looks of it, and he was flooding the dorms with tea from his very expensive-looking teapot made of gold. Unfortunately, I did not care. I left to the
Workshop after to seek out motor oil, which I quickly found and bottled up. My next destination was the
Hollow Tree. I clambered up to the second floor and rushed into the
Armory for my next items. Unfortunately, I wasn't alone in there.
Lee Chaolan was inside, spray-painting a sword to a false golden hue. After narrowly avoiding a golden paint trap above the door, I entered to grab a polearm, which he apparently did not like, prompting the obligatory chase sequence. I cut this short by blowtorching the bridge behind me with my pepper spray — turns out its packs more of a punch than I planned! I went back downstairs after, and saw the
old man jump through the hole in the
East Hallways."
"My next destination was the
Garage. I arrived to see the
fire rat leave through the garage door with
Th- Tha- the purple guy. Took me a bit of searching after to find a wrench among the room's contents; I think the lot of you took most of them already! I had a much easier time grabbing a taser from the
Metal Lab right next door, though. I left for the
Clock Tower after, seeing the
purple guy once more in the
halls, as well as a... pumpkin? Under the hole that Ghoul jumped through earlier? Odd. Anyway, I headed downstairs, seeing the
tan fraud with the
cubical menace up in the heights as I descended. Ran to the
Cinder Mines after to get myself some heatproof gear and saw
Tanner floating in the hallway. Once I suited up, it was time to finish my quest for gear! Oh, but before that, I saw someone leave the
Cargo Lift with a wheelbarrow of... pumpkins. A little odd I saw so many!"
"Went to the
Crystal Mine to reach the
Dark Labs. The large flower in the mines was SCARY. It turned to face me! The horrors! As I searched in the labs, I saw
ghost lady put something under a white sheet in that portrait machine thingy; she left after turning it on. And then I saw it. The
brand-new room. I was honestly a little curious about it, and who wouldn't be? Naturally, I looked inside briefly and saw that the portrait from within was nowhere to be found. I grabbed myself a darklight flashlight from the
Dark Lab for my Ghouligrab cosplay and left to the
Quarry Pit's edge, where I waited a small bit. You see, I consider myself a good guy. I don't want to have to try and kill someone! But I care about myself a lot more! Luckily, nobody passed by. All that was there was... a pumpkin. Oh my god. They're multiplying. Distressed by this, I ran away to the
Cellar, where I was instantly blinded by a flash from below. I stumbled through the
Cellar and found a cracked barrel on the floor, leaking its barrel juice. Afraid, I ran to the
Clockworks and
headed up before returning to my bed, seeing the
crazy scientist lady leave the
Plant Nursery."
