Koopa & Goomba

MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
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MarioWiki
MightyMario
Chapter 7

The two friends stood there as Wario waddled over to the bed and sat on it, causing a cacophony of creaks and groans on the bed slats. He looked at them and belched yet again.

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Wario: GRR! Wasn’t Wario clear enough?! I said bring me my burgers! *fart*

Suddenly, the door opened and a tall lanky purple clothed man with a pointed mustache and a purple cap with a upside down L on it entered. He was carrying multiple food boxes containing Triple Layer Garlic, Egg, and Tofu Burgers.

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Wario: Finally! Wario’s starving! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

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Waluigi: Okay, okay! Jeez, Wario! You said we would be seein’ the boss today! When are we gonna do that, huh?!

Wario ignored Waluigi’s question and yanked the food boxes from his hands. He began tearing into the first box and eating the burgers. Bits of food flew from Wario and made a huge mess on the bed and floor. Wario chewed with his mouth open. He belched and farted without saying “excuse me”. He rarely flushed the toilet and clogged it basically every time he went in. His breath stank so badly that it could knock down a Whomp. If you looked up disgusting in a thesaurus, you’d probably see Wario as a synonym (and his picture as well).

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Koopa: Boss? Is it Bowser? He’s mad at us.

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Goomba: Yeah! He sent us here after we lost the princess! Can we stay with you guys?

Koopa glanced at Goomba with a concerned look.

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Koopa: We are NOT staying with Fartypants. Absolutely not.

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Goomba: Would you rather face Bowser’s wrath? He could send us to the Mount Brr mines! Almost nobody comes back from there! Koop, we have to stay with these guys...

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Koopa: The M-M-M-M-Mount Brr mines?! I don’t wanna go there! We’d never see the world again! I would miss out on everything! I’m already behind on watching Daisy’s Flower Garden! I love that show!

Waluigi looked at the two and put his hands on his hips.

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Waluigi: So... you wanna join our little group? We’re planning a big heist on Bowser’s Castle. Gonna steal his Clown Car, his karts...

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Wario: ...and his riches! Oh, baby! So much gold! All that wealth! I COULD BE RICH! WAH HA HA HA! *belch*

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Waluigi: What do you two chumps say to that? You want to get back at Bowser for kickin’ you out?

Koopa and Goomba thought for a moment then made their decision.

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Koopa: Yes, we do!

*Feedback is appreciated! -MightyMario
 
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MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
MightyMario
Chapter 8

The four exited the inn and headed down the mountain. A short walk later (which was long for Wario and he had to use the bathroom, again) and they arrived at a purple muscle car with two bars on the back and Wario’s pointy mustache on the hood.

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Wario: Ha ha! Get a load of this beauty! I call it the Wariomobile! It’s got tons of horsepower and runs on pure Wario’s Homemade Fart Fuel!

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Goomba: Ew! That’s disgusting! Your car runs on farts?!

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Wario: What?! You dare call the IMMACULATE GENIUS that is Wario’s Homemade Fart Fuel disgusting?! Grr... Wario’s having second thoughts about you chumps!

Koopa piped in to contrast Goomba’s shock with some positivity.


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Koopa: Wow, a car that runs on methane? That’s kinda cool.

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Wario: Finally, someone around here sees the GRANDNESS and EXCELLENCY of Wario’s brain! Hop on! We’re gonna go see the boss!

Wario and Waluigi got into the driver’s and passenger’s side respectively, while Koopa and Goomba wonder how they were going to get in. They grabbed onto the bars on the back and expressed concern on the lack of seatbelts.

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Koopa: Uh, Wario? Where’s... the seatbelts?

It was then the Wariomobile shot off, speeding down the Shroom Ridge highway like a Mario Kart race on 200cc. Koopa and Goomba held on for dear life as the car zoomed and zipped through the curves and turns.

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Goomba: THERE ARE NO SEATBELTS!!!!

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: Koopa: MY BRAIN IS GOING INTO MY SHELL!!!!

This was only the beginning, as Wario’s F-Zero practice caught the attention of the police Toads sitting on the side of the road. They got onto their karts and bikes and began giving chase. The main Police Toad began speaking through a mini Super Horn.

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: Police Toad: *through Super Horn* THIS IS THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM POLICE! SLOW DOWN AND PULL OVER IMMEDIATELY! WE MEAN IT!

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Waluigi: Hey, look! We got the cops on our bumper! Shouldn’t we slow down?

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Wario: Yeah, maybe I should...

There was a small amount of silence between the two, before they both laughed and increased their speed. Koopa and Goomba were flailing about on the bars trying to not go flying off. Koopa had his hands gripped on the bars while Goomba bit them.

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Goomba: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, KOOPA!

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Koopa: NO, THIS IS OUR FAULT, GOOMBA!

The two screamed for mercy as the chase continued.

*Feedback is appreciated! -MightyMario
 
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LeftyGreenMario

Gray-brown Christmas
Wiki Patroller
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she/her
MarioWiki
Bazooka Mario
I figure Wario's short walk would be longer also because Wario is too lazy to walk and had to be persuaded to do anything.

I really doubt the Wario mobile would outlast the cops though. They run on farts.... imagine if the car was slowing down and Waluigi screams at Wario and Wario, sullen, goes, like, "I can't! My butt is tired now :("
 

MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
MightyMario
I figure Wario's short walk would be longer also because Wario is too lazy to walk and had to be persuaded to do anything.

I really doubt the Wario mobile would outlast the cops though. They run on farts.... imagine if the car was slowing down and Waluigi screams at Wario and Wario, sullen, goes, like, "I can't! My butt is tired now :("
Yeah at the speed it’s going it’ll run out of fuel in about three minutes
 

MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
MightyMario
Chapter 9 (part 1)

At Bowser’s Castle, Bowser was reclining on his throne as usual, relaxing. Kamek, his trusted advisor and caregiver, stood next to him. The relaxing was interrupted when a Koopa Troopa ran into the throne room in a panic.

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Koopa Troopa: Your Royal Highness, I’m afraid we have an emergency! Very, very URGENT!

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Bowser: Is it Mario?!

The Koopa Troopa shook his head. A feminine scream could be heard, sending chills down the Troopa’s shell. That scream could have come from only one person in the castle. One who threw a tantrum at every possible thing that made her mad.

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Wendy: WHO PUT MY MAKEUP ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SINK?!?!?! IT GOES ON THE RIGHT YOU BLOCK-BRAINED IDIOT!

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Bowser: Oh goodness... please not today...

Wendy stormed into the throne room and huffed at the Koopa Troopa standing in terror.

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Wendy: BOWSER!!!!! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO MESSED WITH MY MAKEUP AND PUT IT ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SINK!!! IT ALWAYS GOES ON THE RIGHT SIDE!!!!!!!


This exclamation of fury caused the rest of the Koopalings to arrive. They did not appreciate being woken up like this on such a dark sky day like today.

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Ludwig: Wendy, if I may ask... why must you act so petulant over a simple mistake? After all, as the leader of our... *clears throat* organization...

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Wendy: Because, Ludwig! How is anything going to get through their thick skulls over how something should be PROPERLY DONE?!

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Iggy: “Leader”? As in sole leader? Excuse me, Mr. Von Koopa... if I may. We, as a collective whole known as the “Koopalings” are all leaders of our republic... as you pointed out... oh, around several years ago during our encounter with Mario, Luigi, and the former’s paper counterpart during the Paper World Book Conundrum? Which, if you may recall...

Bowser placed a hand on his forehead and closed his eyes.

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Bowser: I think it would have been better if were Mario...

*Feedback is appreciated! -MightyMario
 

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MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
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MarioWiki
MightyMario
Chapter 9 (part 2)

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Larry: Wendy, is this really such a big deal? I mean, your yelling woke us all up. I was having such a nice dream too... winning the Mushroom Cup trophy at Marina Stadium.

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Wendy: Big deal? BIG DEAL?! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I TAKE TWO HOURS IN THE MORNING JUST TO DO MY MAKEUP! YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY BECAUSE YOU’RE A BOY!

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Roy: You take two hours to do makeup?! Is that why I have to use the Goomba’s bathroom?!

Wendy looked at Roy and sneered.

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Wendy: My makeup requires delicate usage and settling to look absolutely perfect! So what if you have to use the Goomba bathroom!

Roy didn’t take that lightly and began yelling himself. Soon, the Koopalings were all arguing and shouting over each other to make their point, much to the chagrin of Bowser. The Koopa King was fed up with this bickering over nothing, so much so that he decided to end it once and for all.

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Bowser: SILENCE!!!

The Koopalings stopped arguing and stood frozen in place as Bowser menacingly looked at the group.

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Bowser: We have bigger Cheep Cheeps to fry than fighting over what side the makeup goes on! Like kidnapping Princess Peach or going kart racing with Mario!

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Morton: MMM... MORTON LIKE FRIED CHEEP CHEEP. MORTON THINKING ABOUT TAKING BROTHER LESTON TO FRIED CHEEP CHEEP DINNER FOR SPECIAL BIRTHDAY.

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Roy: You don’t have a brother named Leston, Moron. How many times do we have to tell you?

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Morton: LESTON REAL. MORTON INVITE HIM TO SPECIAL BIRTHDAY AT BIG BOSS CASTLE. MORTON WILL BUY SPECIAL GIFT FOR LESTON FOR SPECIAL BIRTHDAY.

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Bowser: A special birthday for... “Leston”? ...I need to rest. Kamek, take me to my bedroom... I feel ill...

Kamek lifted his wand and spun it around, then pointed it at Bowser, who was transported to his bed with a teddy bear in his arms. He then released a sigh and fell asleep.

*Feedback is appreciated! -MightyMario
 

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Nic

Blue Bunny Nicecream
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She/Her
Koopalings have a thing going on. Not a peaceful thing, but still a thing.

Also “shell brained idiot?” Wendy, have you ever looked at your back? You. Have. A. Shell. Too.
 

MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
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He/him
MarioWiki
MightyMario
Koopalings have a thing going on. Not a peaceful thing, but still a thing.

Also “shell brained idiot?” Wendy, have you ever looked at your back? You. Have. A. Shell. Too.
I think I should change it to “block-brained”.
 

MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
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He/him
MarioWiki
MightyMario
I know I haven’t touched this in a couple months but after watching one of my favorite YouTubers’ playthrough of Superstar Saga + Bowser’s Minions, I have a general idea of what the story should be.

Prepare for chortles and fury.
 

MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
MightyMario
Chapter 10

Later, in the castle’s kitchen, Kamek was busy preparing dinner. The pot of slow boiling Mushroom Stew caused a pleasant aroma through the fortress. The Magikoopa grabbed a wooden spoon and stirred the stew for a brief moment before tasting it.

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Kamek: Oh yes, delicious! Kamek, you’ve out done yourself this time. His Royal Repulsiveness will be thoroughly pleased by tonight’s meal, I’m assured.

However, what one person finds pleasant, another finds it...

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Bowser Jr.: ...putrid, awful, nose-hair stinging smell! Argh, Kamek’s making dinner again! I wanna eat cookies and milk! Hey... that’s a great idea!

The Koopa prince barged into the kitchen and came up to Kamek.

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Bowser Jr.: Kamek! I want milk and cookies and I want it now!

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Kamek: You’ll spoil your appetite, Young Master. Besides, dinner’s almost ready. I spent over three hours making it and you’re gonna eat it.

Bowser Jr. sniffed the air and stuck his tongue out in disgust. Kamek took offense to this and folded his arms.

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Bowser Jr.: ...BLECH! That smells horrible! I won’t eat it! No, no, no, no, NO!

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Kamek: Young Prince, you’ll eat my cooking whether you enjoy it or not. You’re a growing Koopa, you need something other than tooth rotting sweets to eat. It’s either that or you’ll get your Clown Car taken away. Do you understand?

The prince was not having it and decided to throw a temper tantrum. He got on his belly and started pounding the kitchen floor with his hands and legs, demanding Kamek give him milk and cookies. Additionally, the waterworks turned on to further the event.

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Bowser Jr.: WAHHHHHHH! I WANT MILK AND COOKIES! I WANT MILK AND COOKIES! I WANT MILK AND COOKIES!

It was at that moment the King slammed open the door and saw the commotion. Bowser stomped over to the two and huffed.

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Bowser: Kamek, what’s going on?! Why is my boy crying?! Where’s dinner?! And what is that awful, abhorrent stench?!

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Kamek: Your Nastiness, I-

Bowser Jr. interrupted Kamek’s explanation to tell his father his side of the story.

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Bowser Jr.: Papa! Kamek said I have to eat his smelly food instead of enjoying cookies! He said that he’d sell my Clown Car to the Mario Bros. if I didn’t eat his stupid dinner!

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Kamek: Lord Bowser, surely you must be on-

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Bowser: HOW DARE YOU DENY MY BOY COOKIES AND MILK?!?!?! AND MAKING HIM EAT YOUR CRUDDY FOOD TOO?!?! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! DON’T YOU SEE THAT HE NEEDS MILK AND COOKIES TO BECOME A STRONG AND GIRTHY MAN LIKE ME?! KAMEK, MAKE A GIANT MOUNTAIN OF COOKIES AND A TANK OF MILK, PRONTO! HUSTLE YOUR WAND!

Kamek looked down to the floor and sighed. He was just looking out for the little guy, not wanting him to be fat and unhealthy. Though he did not want to defy his ruler, he waved his wand and summoned the requested food. A massive pile of cookies appeared with a giant container of Moo Moo Milk beside it. The two royal Koopas dug into the scrumptious snack, ignoring the stew that Kamek spent so much preparing.

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Bowser Jr.: Wahoo! Thanks, Papa! I love cookies and milk!

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Bowser: Gwaha! As do I, son! We’re eatin’ good tonight! Mm-mm-mmm!

Defeated, the blue robed Koopa took the pot of stew off the fire and walked to the dinner table where seven hungry Koopalings sat. He gave each of them a bowl and filled it with stew.

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Morton: MORTON THINK STEW SMELL FUNNY. MORTON EAT IT ANYWAYS.

Morton took a bite of stew and immediately spit it out.

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Morton: BLEGH! MORTON THINK FUNNY SMELLING STEW TASTE HORRIBLE! MORTON WANT COOKIES AND MILK.

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Kamek: *sigh*

*Feedback is appreciated! -MightyMario
 

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MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
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MarioWiki
MightyMario
Chapter 11

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Wario: We’re almost to the hideout! I can feel it in my butt! *toot*

As the Wariomobile sped around the bend with the Mushroom Kingdom Police Force in pursuit, Koopa felt his grip beginning to slip from the bars on the back. He briefly lost his touch and regrabbed the bar, terrified of getting a Game Over. Goomba climbed up from the bars and landed in the front seat between Waluigi and Wario.

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Goomba: Yo, Fartypants! Know any shortcuts to get the Five-Toad off our tails?

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Waluigi: Yeah! C’mon, Wario! You know the ‘ol Shroom Ridge skip! Mushroom through the flowers, fly off the ramp, and drive over the tunnel!

Wario chuckled and pulled a Mushroom from his overalls. It was then the Wariomobile got an exhilarating burst of speed and flew off of the aforementioned ramp, soaring through the air like a fully charged Wario Waft. However, Goomba noticed the fuel gauge running empty and nudged Wario.

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Wario: Whaddya want, pipsqueak?! Wario’s about to complete this EPIC and TOTALLY AWESOME Wario-approved shortcut!

He then noticed the fuel gauge reach E. They suddenly stopped short of the tunnel and started falling toward the road.

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Wario: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! QUICK, WALUIGI! HAND WARIO THOSE EMERGENCY BURRITOS!

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Waluigi: WE DON’T HAVE ANYMORE, WE WASTED THEM ON RAINBOW ROAD!

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Wario: THEN WARIO’S GOT NOTHIN’ IN THE CHAMBER! WE’RE DOOMED!

The Wariomobile careened to the ground, bouncing and boinging into the tunnel. Cars weaved around and dodged the vehicle as it traveled through the tunnel like a metallic bouncy ball. All you could hear was a cacophony of “WAH!” “HONK!” “WOAH”, and flatulence.

After a long while, the car bounced high out of the tunnel off of a dash panel ramp truck and back into the air, leaving Shroom Ridge and entering the region of Mushroom Desert, landing directly next to the secret hideout. All four passengers were stunned at the events that had occurred that day as the sun began to set over the desert.

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Wario: We’re here... rughhhhh... *defeated fart*

*Feedback is appreciated -MightyMario
 
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Nic

Blue Bunny Nicecream
Pronouns
She/Her
Hmm, I wonder what Waluigi’s opinion on Wario’s Grossness is.

looking forward to the next chapter!
 

MightyMario

Mr. Countries-of-the-World Song
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
MightyMario
Chapter 12

The large crash of the Wariomobile alerted the denizens of the secret hideout. A dazed Wario clambered from the bent-up vehicle and knocked on the metal door. A small slot opened up in the middle revealing a pair of two yellow eyes in a purple mask. The others soon joined Wario.

???: What’s the motto?

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Wario: Oh, uh... “Always take and never give, for that is the life of a thief!”

The slot closed and the door opened, revealing a Beanish figure in black and gray striped clothing wearing the same purple mask. He looked at the motley crew with doubt. Wario and Waluigi were totally members of the Thieves Honor Society (Mushroom Kingdom and part-Beanbean Kingdom chapter) but those two standard run-of-the-mill minions? The Beanish man was a bit peeved.

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Popple: Wario, who are those two palookas next to ya? They ain’t coppers, are they?!

The two Koopa Kingdom lackeys introduced themselves.

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Koopa: Hello there... Mr... Beanman. I am Koopa, Former Minion of Lord Bowser Koopa’s Koopa Troop. *pointing to Goomba* And this is Goomba, my best friend and was apart of the same group.

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Goomba: What’s up, Beanie? Nice to meet ya.

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Popple: Hmph. Real original names you got. I’m Popple, the legendary “Shadow Thief”! You two ever heard of me?

Both Koopa and Goomba shook their heads. Popple went from peeved to furious.

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Popple: WHAT?!? YOU TWO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THE “SHADOW THIEF”?!?!?

The Beanish thief calmed down and adjusted his hat.

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Popple: Harf... Hoof... Come inside, you guys. The boss doesn’t like waitin’...

The five walked inside the hideout, Koopa and Goomba taking note of all the stolen objects around them. In one room, karts of all make and models were lined up in a row. In another, a hefty amount of power ups littered the floor, trailing from bags with the Mushroom symbol on them. Finally, they made to the boss’ office.

A set of purple “ears” were seated in a black spin chair facing away from the group until he turned toward them. A bandana similar to Bowser Jr.s covered his mouth area, giving him a sort of menacing appearance. Short but well known among the thieving community, he ran the local Thieves Honor Society chapter; a role he very much deserved.

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Nabbit: So... you guyses finally made it. ‘Neva thought I’d add a normal meandering Koopa Troopa and a pint-sized runt of a Goomba... Tell me all abouts it, boys. *chuckle*

*Feedback is appreciated! -MightyMario
 
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