I'll survive and win because...

Klinsly Cat

I'm the prettiest girl you ever met
The above user is a bad guy, you are a good guy, the bad guy has a plan that ends in death and defeat, counter with a way you survive and beat them, no matter how silly, this topic was brought to you by JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

I'll start things off, of course.

I throw you into lava

Dr. Baby Luigi

Mushroom Kingdom's Most Adorable Doctor
jokes on you, i'm the witch from hansel and gretel and i boil you alive

George Jones

Founder of the Sharknado Clan, formed 2015
Nice try, I'm wearing body armour.

I put you in front of a tornado.

Klinsly Cat

I'm the prettiest girl you ever met
I control the wind and weather

I throw you into the sun

Doctor Healmore

Shine Sprite
Poll Committee
A message on the screen says "SHINE!" I dance and celebrate.

King Dedede whacks you with his ultra-powerful Dedede Hammer.

Ben Stokes

Mushroom Attendant
i'm made of jelly so i won't feel anything (changed up from the previous response of "I'm fireproof" because ninja'd)

i leave you in a box with a nuke that is about to blow up in three, two, one...


Pay ya for what, standing there?
Except that I happen to own a vortex manipulator and warp away in the nick of time, leaving in mt place a bomb to destroy you.

As I said, I have a bomb to destroy you with.

Ben Stokes

Mushroom Attendant
luckily the rock is two inches big, so at worst it gives me a minor concussion

a redwood tree falls on you


Always remembering Walkazo
I can use my BS-protagonist-powered watch to use the Cutter ability from Kirby to cut through the tree.

I then use the same copy ability to attack.