Mario Boards Chess Tournament 2.0

Yeah, I guess this thing has started.
 
I'll start by playing DF and Fanta, then. Keeping my attention fairly focused rather than divided into minimal amounts.
 
And then we'll put the squeeze on you and you end up losing all five games due to pressure and intense squeezing tactics.
 
That was my original strat and then I saw that move and thought I was safe because the bishop couldn't move.

I'll just quietly sit and weep.