And here we are, inside the aptly named tunnel to the tower.
For a place where sunlight doesn't reach, this cave is surprisingly well lit.
What... but... YOU SUGGESTED COMING HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Fine, I'll just ask some of the locals for directions. This bat-like creature seems good enough.
Excuse me, Mr. Batty?
He bit me. Either I am struggling with understanding these foreign customs, or this bat is not of the friendly variety.
I assume it is the former, because jumping to conclusions is bad.
As a friendly gesture, I offer him a display of Aboda Village customs.
It doesn't seem to sit well with the others though. It is slowly dawning on me that I might have rolled into a bad neighborhood.
That was a nice and fulfilling cultural exchange.
Also note that there is a door with a comically huge keyhole over there...
...next to a switch and a door. Standing on the switch opens the door, but not for long enough to actually walk through it.
Luckily, there is a heavy block here, perfect for weighting down switches. What a coincidence.
It's actually not a coincidence. Hyrulean law dictates that for every switch there has to be at least one suitable object to weight it down somewhere in the immediate vicinity. Failure to comply will get you arrested by the guards. If no one responsible can be found, they just arrest someone at random. Most of the time, it is me.
You should take this advice and push it somewhere else! Like where the sun doesn't shine!
But as we established earlier, the sun doesn't shine in this cave either, so the advice is already in the right place.
Guess we have no choice but to push this block.
Of course I have to stop every now and then to change direction.
I heard that there is some guy who can just push blocks in any direction regardless of where he is grabbing them. I think he is a prince or something.
I envy that guy. It makes block-pushing much less tedious.
The door opens and reveals a chest. What is in it? More rupees?
Why no, it is the key for the big door thing. That is much better than rupees, actually. I mean, who likes finding rupees in chests anyway? Usually you hope it's a Piece of Heart, or a fancy new item. Rupees just make you feel like you got cheated out of something much better.
You know, I wonder why this door is locked anyway? I mean, blocking a tunnel that leads straight from the tower to the castle serves no strategical purpose, and it just inconveniences everyone. Now the only way to travel between those two points is to take the train, which pretty much puts everyone at the mercy of... the royal... engineers.
...
It all makes sense now. Alfonzo must be behind this.
Anyway! New floor, new challenges!
New cryptic advice!
There are some poor saps who can't jump trenches like this. They need to find a feather in order to do it. Must be a confidence thing.
I am glad I am so progressive. I don't have to bother with this nonsense.
This appears to be part of a puzzle.
The other rock slab thingies say similar things. We will take a closer look at them as soon as they become relevant.
On the other side we have more of the explosive plums. I am not sure whether they are sentient, but if they are, they must be dying to explode in my face again. The jerks!
Well, at least I will be able to pay for the ensuing medical procedure.
Well, there is no use in procrastinating, I guess.
This went surprisingly painless. I feel accomplished.
Alright, this must be the puzzle the stone tablets refer to. Let's go back and take another look at what they have to say.
Ok, this is obviously something that can't be solved by brute force. This is much more sophisticated!
It is time! Let's get
academic!
Bottom comes before left.
Top comes before bottom.
Right comes before top.
It can therefore be deduced that the correct order is
right, top, bottom, left.
Tremble, switches!
Tremble before my razor-sharp wit!
And it looks like it's true what they say.
Having a decent brain will open doors for you.
This realization is making me ascend to a whole different level!
What is it, Zelda? The puzzle wasn't hard and I shouldn't be so full of myself?
Well, I think you're just jealous. No, stop rolling your eyes at me!
It's so sad. Nobody understands me.