Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (Case 2 Chapter 5 is up)

[EctoBiologist]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*

oh god what kind of reputation have I built up

the same as smasher's?

 

[Nabber]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*

oh god what kind of reputation have I built up

the same as smasher's?

Smasher isn't known for being a tough critic on stories.

 

[Lily x]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

I was worried you would say
THIS STORY IS UNNACEPTABLE!

 

[GalacticPetey]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

I was worried you would say
THIS STORY IS UNNACEPTABLE!

 

[Specific Neptune]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*

oh god what kind of reputation have I built up

the same as smasher's?

Did you mean Tabuu?

 

[Toad Eightyfive]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*

oh god what kind of reputation have I built up

*dictionary*

"Nabber: See 'Roger Ebert'"

 

[Lily x]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Pretty much finished the chapter, will give it a final read and upload it tommorow.

 

[Lily x]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Sorry its a bit bleh, but chapter one is up. Next up: The courtroom guns start blazing in chapter two. I hope you guys are enjoying it so far, even though it is a bit slow.

http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/Lily_Troof:_Ace_Attorney-_Turnabout_Meet_Up:_Chapter_1

 

[Soundless Voice]

Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Wow. I'm starting to feel a bit like Nabber for a second. :O

Anyways, I don't know if it's British grammar but when a character is speaking you should put "and" instead of 'and'.

Also you used commas where there shouldn't be commas like in the last paragraph when BMB said "One last thing. Is Gulliver Note, the prosecuter?" there shouldn't be a comma.
Then again, I don't really know British grammar so disregard that if it is.

Other than that it's really good!

7.9/10