Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (Case 2 Chapter 5 is up)

Who was your favourite character in Case 1 (Turnabout Meet Up)?

  • Lily Troof

    Votes: 2 10.0%

  • Neptune Poseidon

    Votes: 7 35.0%

  • Benjamin-Matthew Bones

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Judge Nabber

    Votes: 2 10.0%

  • Barry Riles

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Gulliver Note

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Fire Eevee

    Votes: 6 30.0%
  • Total voters
    20
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Ok, thanks. I suck at grammar :(.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

The grammar was not bad. The mystery was pretty good, and I was not sure what was going on there. I read it a few times and the events added up kind of oddly.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Ace Attorney case prologues are always like that, you don't know much until chapter one starts. Hopefully I can start working on chapter one and really focus on the grammar.
Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

I'll be an editor if Lily so wishes.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

You can if you want.
Also working on C1, hopefully it will be done sometime this week.
Also, normal chapters will be written from first person perspective of Lily.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

i found one grammatical error or more like not really pacing sentences correctly:

It was lined with a neat, white napkin. Inside the petite basket, were small bread rolls. Bread and wine, what Jesus served at the last supper. Also what these two men were served tonight.
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my version don't judge :( said:
It was lined with a neat, white napkin. Inside the petite basket were small bread rolls and wine, what Jesus served at The Last Supper. It was also what these two men were served tonight.
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Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

why were the two men sitting in a bar, drunk
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

I finally got the time to read the Prolouge. It was awesome.

But I agree with Nabber on where you put commas instead of periods and vice-versa.

Overall 9.9/10
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Phantom L said:
Ace Attorney case prologues are always like that, you don't know much until chapter one starts. Hopefully I can start working on chapter one and really focus on the grammar.
Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*
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Psss...Lily...it's because they like you, which is why they don't care about your grammar. ;)

Also, I love the name you gave me.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Your welcome.
Hopefully you guys will like part two. Just saying that this is where Lily, Neptune and Judge Nabber make their debut.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

What about me? I am a witness :( or do i appear in the same chapter as mb2 since i am her foster-brother
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Hang on, you won't be in case one as that, like the game is one of those obvious short ones.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

I know I need to be more patient, but when do I appear? Case 1 or 2?
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Pokémon Trainer Rin Kagamine said:
I know I need to be more patient, but when do I appear? Case 1 or 2?
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when she puts the characters in
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

I told her via pm to prevent spoilers for everyone.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

This is inspiring me to get back on with Eight.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Cool. Not 100% where to finish chapter one. I could do a short one where it ends when Lily enters the courtroom or a longer one which ends just before a witness is called on.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Radagast the Brown said:
Ghost Nappa said:
Radagast the Brown said:
Ghost Nappa said:
Radagast the Brown said:
This is inspiring me to get back on with Eight.
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Yes. Do it. I signed up for that.
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Patience, my love.
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No. I am not your love.
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REFERENCE TO LOTR, GOOD SIR.
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Well excuuuuuuuuse me princess.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Phantom L said:
Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*
Click to expand...
oh god what kind of reputation have I built up
 
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