Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (Case 2 Chapter 5 is up)

Who was your favourite character in Case 1 (Turnabout Meet Up)?

  • Lily Troof

    Votes: 2 10.0%

  • Neptune Poseidon

    Votes: 7 35.0%

  • Benjamin-Matthew Bones

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Judge Nabber

    Votes: 2 10.0%

  • Barry Riles

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Gulliver Note

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Fire Eevee

    Votes: 6 30.0%
  • Total voters
    20
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Ok, thanks. I suck at grammar :(.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

The grammar was not bad. The mystery was pretty good, and I was not sure what was going on there. I read it a few times and the events added up kind of oddly.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Ace Attorney case prologues are always like that, you don't know much until chapter one starts. Hopefully I can start working on chapter one and really focus on the grammar.
Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

You can if you want.
Also working on C1, hopefully it will be done sometime this week.
Also, normal chapters will be written from first person perspective of Lily.
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

i found one grammatical error or more like not really pacing sentences correctly:

It was lined with a neat, white napkin. Inside the petite basket, were small bread rolls. Bread and wine, what Jesus served at the last supper. Also what these two men were served tonight.
Click to expand...

my version don't judge :( said:
It was lined with a neat, white napkin. Inside the petite basket were small bread rolls and wine, what Jesus served at The Last Supper. It was also what these two men were served tonight.
Click to expand...
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

why were the two men sitting in a bar, drunk
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

I finally got the time to read the Prolouge. It was awesome.

But I agree with Nabber on where you put commas instead of periods and vice-versa.

Overall 9.9/10
 
Re: Lily Troof: Ace Attorney (I promise this will get past the teaser)

Phantom L said:
Ace Attorney case prologues are always like that, you don't know much until chapter one starts. Hopefully I can start working on chapter one and really focus on the grammar.
Anyway I got a 'not bad' from Nabber
*Faints in happiness*
Click to expand...

Psss...Lily...it's because they like you, which is why they don't care about your grammar. ;)

Also, I love the name you gave me.