The ShadeMaster-- No More Sign-ups necessary (but you can still sign up!)
- Thread starter YoshiMonsta
- Start date
Lolcrawler
I choose you!
Re: The ShadeMaster
Userpedia, but he says he'll put a link here. I'm like his attendant for this, since he is busy right now writing the story. "It is going well" says he.
Userpedia, but he says he'll put a link here. I'm like his attendant for this, since he is busy right now writing the story. "It is going well" says he.
Lolcrawler
I choose you!
Re: The ShadeMaster
oh and here is a link to the page so far.
http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/ShadeMaster
He stated all of the joining characters.
oh and here is a link to the page so far.
http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/ShadeMaster
He stated all of the joining characters.
YoshiMonsta
Yoshi! Yoshi!
- Thread starter
- #56
Re: The ShadeMaster
You should expect the prorogue any day now.
You should expect the prorogue any day now.
Lolcrawler
I choose you!
Re: The ShadeMaster
My brother is busy right now struggling to make a gif his avatar. His thread is getting a lot of posts (in the helpdesk of course) but none are really helping.
My brother is busy right now struggling to make a gif his avatar. His thread is getting a lot of posts (in the helpdesk of course) but none are really helping.
YoshiMonsta
Yoshi! Yoshi!
- Thread starter
- #59
Re: The ShadeMaster
http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/ShadeMaster I have come up with a link on there to my prologue, hope you like it, though it is kind of short.
http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/ShadeMaster I have come up with a link on there to my prologue, hope you like it, though it is kind of short.
Nabber
Artisanal Cheese Taster
Re: The ShadeMaster
Overall, 3/10.
I apologize, but I cannot make a complete review of this. I'll make a quick summary: you need to work on your grammar, explain things better, be more descriptive, and for crying out loud, you didn't need that many bullet points taking up my screen in the middle of the page.Nabber said:
Overall, 3/10.
Re: The ShadeMaster
The grammar looked fine as far as I could see except you forgot a few commas.
Nabber's right about being more descriptive. You need to add more detail, for example describing the mountain.
He's also right about the bullet points.
About 6.1/10 for me.
The grammar looked fine as far as I could see except you forgot a few commas.
Nabber's right about being more descriptive. You need to add more detail, for example describing the mountain.
He's also right about the bullet points.
About 6.1/10 for me.
GalacticPetey
Donkey Kong
Re: The ShadeMaster
What was the point of the bullet points?
What was the point of the bullet points?
Rocker64
~Massive Fangirl
Re: The ShadeMaster
I'll say something as well.
The bullet points, were just dumb, they served no purpose and were an eyesore, also, i wasn't exactly sure what was going on. It says a screen pulls out with Mario on it, then suddenly he is beating Kamek and Bowser up?
Also this "Beast" they were following, no description on it, except a name. Is it big? Is it purple? WHY DOES IT HAVE AN ENGINE? Doesn't make much sense to me.
Also, WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE. You only specify a mountain, as someone who tries to imagine everything he reads, it was kinda confusing.
4/10 for now.
I'll say something as well.
The bullet points, were just dumb, they served no purpose and were an eyesore, also, i wasn't exactly sure what was going on. It says a screen pulls out with Mario on it, then suddenly he is beating Kamek and Bowser up?
Also this "Beast" they were following, no description on it, except a name. Is it big? Is it purple? WHY DOES IT HAVE AN ENGINE? Doesn't make much sense to me.
Also, WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE. You only specify a mountain, as someone who tries to imagine everything he reads, it was kinda confusing.
4/10 for now.