Can someone help me ?

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Hi,

Maybe you already know it, but english is only my second language. I can understand everything I heard or I read, but writting or speaking english by myself is much harder...

So, I have a Twitter account in which I give some Mario facts and I think that my sentences are note always perfect. I think that this doesn't help me at all getting some subscribers! I am wondering if any of you here can tell me wich of my tweets are not correctly written! Please! :-\

How do I write those sentences correctly:

-The music from Mario Party 9's Results Screen includes some notes of the Super Mario World's Overworld Theme.

-In Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3, Mario and Luigi wear gloves. In previous versions of SMB3, they did not have visible gloves.

-When Boo scores in Mario Strikers Charged, a remix of the merry-go-round theme from Super Mario 64 is played.

-In Super Mario Bros., Red Paratroopas are the most rare ennemies of the game, There is only six of them.

-In Super Mario Bros. 3, if the player manage to reach Bowser with the Hammer Suit, he can defeat the boss with only four hammer hits.

-In Super Mario Sunshine, the water pump used by Mario is called "F.L.U.D.D." which stands for: "Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device".
There are some other sentences on my account : https://twitter.com/Mario_Trivia ... But I think that the rest of it should be fine.

Thank you very much for helping me! ;)
 

Awesome Koopa

Here's some text that's very personal.
5th sentence should say "if the player manages to reach Bowser"
Other than that, it's good.
 

Mario4Ever

A price for everything.
Retired Wiki Staff
You can use most rare, but it's not done often, but regardless, you would say "in the game" rather than "of the game." Also, "enemies" has one "n."
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Yoshiwalker said:
I think "rarest" sounds better.

Also, you speak English as a second language? I couldn't tell. :eek:
Well, that's kind of a good thing!

Thanks for your help! And...

-In Super Mario Sunshine, the water pump used by Mario is called "F.L.U.D.D." which stands for: "Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device".
Is it better structured if I write :

- The water pump used by Mario in Super Mario Sunshine is called "F.L.U.D.D." which stands for: "Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device".

Or it's the same thing?

In Super Mario 64, it takes 30 sec of inactivity for Mario to fall asleep and 187 sec to hear him dreaming of spaghetti and raviolis.
Is this okay too?
 

YamiHoshi

Nintendo 3DS Developer
English is my 3rd language, but I just don't worry about mistakes.
 

Mario4Ever

A price for everything.
Retired Wiki Staff
Dr Luigi Tm said:
Is it better structured if I write :

- The water pump used by Mario in Super Mario Sunshine is called "F.L.U.D.D." which stands for: "Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device".

Or it's the same thing?
You can do either one, but this one flows better.

In Super Mario 64, it takes 30 sec of inactivity for Mario to fall asleep and 187 sec to hear him dreaming of spaghetti and raviolis. Is this okay too?
Yeah, but ravioli is already a plural noun, so you would just say "spaghetti and ravioli."
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Thanks all! I made the corrections!

And, I need some informations:

Do we need to say : ''There IS 223 microgames in WarioWare: Twisted!'' or ''There ARE 223 microgames...'' ?

Ans is this sentence okay ? :

-According to the official artworks of the Mario & Luigi serie, Luigi has red and white striped socks.
 

Dr. Javelin

Nathan Latsk
Dr Luigi Tm said:
Do we need to say : ''There IS 223 microgames in WarioWare: Twisted!'' or ''There ARE 223 microgames...'' ?
the second one is right
Dr Luigi Tm said:
-According to the official artworks of the Mario & Luigi series, Luigi has red and white striped socks.
series is pretty much always plural
 

GutsehMan

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman.
also,

Dr Luigi Tm said:
According to the official artworks of the Mario & Luigi series, Luigi has red and white striped socks.
you don't need the s at the end
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Excluding Mario Party Advance, Mario Party 9 is the first game in the serie not to show Luigi on the box art.

Is the sentence correct?
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Thank you!

YoshiGo99 said:
nope he is in the boxart, I think in the castle
Oh my god! you are right! Thank you very much for telling me! I never noticed him before. Now I need to triple check my facts!
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
I need to write a new fact...

Do I need to say :

There is more playable characters in Mario Party 8 than in Mario Party 9.

or

There are more playable characters in Mario Party 8 than in Mario Party 9.

Thank you!
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Thanks!

And now, is this one okay ?... :

If Mario Tennis (N64) is turned on without a controller plugged in, there will be a warning screen featuring Luigi and Waluigi.
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Thank you!

And now, should I say :

In Mario Kart 64, if the music that plays during the results screen makes 64 loops (around 50 minutes), a hidden tune will play.

or

In Mario Kart 64, if the music playing during the results screen makes 64 loops (around 50 minutes), a hidden tune will play.

Or do you have a suggestion on a better way to write this sentence?
 

Soundless Voice

Star Spirit
Banned User
They both work but the first one is better.
 

Dr Luigi Tm

Cheep Cheep
Thanks! And now it's me again for another question! Is it well written ? Do you have any suggestion to write this sentence in a better form ?:

-In Super Mario Bros., the world 8-1 has 60 ennemies, making it the level with the most ennemies in the game.
 

Soundless Voice

Star Spirit
Banned User
Dr Luigi Tm said:
Thanks! And now it's me again for another question! Is it well written ? Do you have any suggestion to write this sentence in a better form ?:

-In Super Mario Bros., the world 8-1 has 60 ennemies, making it the level with the most ennemies in the game.
It's:
-In Super Mario Bros, the world 8-1 has 60 enemies, making it the level with the most enemies in the game.

There's only 1 n in enemies.
 
Top