New Sherlock Mario Book 3: The Worldwide Catastrophe

What should the new book 3 be?

  • The Concert Mystery

    Votes: 3 50.0%

  • The Donut Shop Dilema

    Votes: 2 33.3%

  • The Murder on 16th Street

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • Total voters
    6
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It's a rather odd chapter since it doesn't seem to start off from the last chapter.
 
Charles zi Britannia said:
It's a rather odd chapter since it doesn't seem to start off from the last chapter.
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Who says it needs to? It's common for books to have lapses between chapters.
 
Well I said odd because in the last chapter I thought he said he was going to follow the mud trail
 
Charles zi Britannia said:
Well I said odd because in the last chapter I thought he said he was going to follow the mud trail
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Yeah, they did, but I didn't write that part because they didn't find anything there. I guess I could add at the beginning of Chapter 8, "Well, we didn't find anything on the mud track......"
 
After a long wait!

http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/New_Sherlock_Mario_Book_3:_The_Worldwide_Catastrophe/Chapter_9

I will have the next chapter up today also
 
Okay, well, the chapter was kind of meh. I guess this was supposed to be a bit of suspense or action but it was too short to really be exciting. There's a lot of bad word choice here, like the line, "They walked out the door into the kitchen to not find me there." First of all; there are no kitchens in cruises. I mean, there are, but not in the staterooms. I understand that you've never been on a cruise, and that's okay, but I'm just trying to let you know. Anyway, the line sounds awkward. I think it should read, "They walked out the door into the kitchen but didn't find me there." That also raises the question: how did you see all of this if you were trapped in "wood" paneling? (Can't get trapped there.) There's also the matter of the cruise departure. So the cruise was about to leave? It's just hard to understand this considering that you were trapped for about 5 lines but really a few hours.
Overall, it wasn't really that great. And I'm starting to forget what this story is about, too.
 
Discord said:
Okay, well, the chapter was kind of meh. I guess this was supposed to be a bit of suspense or action but it was too short to really be exciting. There's a lot of bad word choice here, like the line, "They walked out the door into the kitchen to not find me there." First of all; there are no kitchens in cruises. I mean, there are, but not in the staterooms. I understand that you've never been on a cruise, and that's okay, but I'm just trying to let you know. Anyway, the line sounds awkward. I think it should read, "They walked out the door into the kitchen but didn't find me there." That also raises the question: how did you see all of this if you were trapped in "wood" paneling? (Can't get trapped there.) There's also the matter of the cruise departure. So the cruise was about to leave? It's just hard to understand this considering that you were trapped for about 5 lines but really a few hours.
Overall, it wasn't really that great. And I'm starting to forget what this story is about, too.
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Yeah, it wasn't a really good chapter, just trying to get the story going again. Of course it doesn't help I've never been on a cruise. :P Same with Chapter 10, which is just a really short chapter:

http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/New_Sherlock_Mario_Book_3:_The_Worldwide_Catastrophe/Chapter_10

So, next week I'll make Chapter 11, and it will be a lot longer than these little chapters
 
Yeah but the Eiffel Tower is kind of overused. Maybe you could use one of Paris's other famous landmarks...
 
I think overall the chapters were just meh, Nabber took most of the words out of my mouth
 
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