It only took a month and a half but I finally broke my writer's block and I'm back to writing my book. I was at 57,202 words for that entire time but I'm really hoping I can cross the 60K mark tonight.
I just woke up from a surprisingly vivid dream about being back in Illinois on today, December 26, where I somehow thought it was early January and that I was going to school. What gave away that it was a dream just before I woke up?
I had no memory of flying to Charlotte like I'll be doing on my real trip home.
Once I'm done with this theme, I'm probably just going to use my name as my username so I can change between avatars as I please. I keep finding myself being impatient by locking myself into a theme for a month so it's about time I don't do that.
I do have a fun idea with this theme though so it has to last all month.
What could I have possibly done overnight that could have led to one of my blankets, which was originally covering my entire body, being bunched up on my neck when I woke up?
I had full intentions of going to class today but when I slept for two hours, woke up and had a panic attack, slept for three more hours, and got woken up by my alarm (with another panic attack!), today just wasn't going to be it. I'll definitely go in tomorrow though.
It's now a brand new month and today is even my transiversary. I'm definitely feeling better than I was a couple weeks ago, but it hasn't exactly been sunshine and rainbows because the day after I left, I got the flu and missed a whole week of school. Besides that, I've mostly just been dealing with my body, gender, and voice dysphoria recently. I nicknamed last month No Nice Things November because it was just that bad and didn't feel like it ever got much better.
Thankfully, this month is off to a lot better start. I'm basically recovered from the flu enough that I'm going to be going back to school on Monday, my depression has been leaving me alone for a little while, and I have a name that fits me really well and that I'm going to try to use for a whole semester. Finals are coming up in less than two weeks and then I'm flying back to Massachusetts for winter break, so I think this month will easily be better than November was, even if it's hard to get lower than rock bottom.
All in all, I know I've only been gone for like a week and a half, but it was well needed time off and even if I'm not super active, I'm looking forward to hanging out around here again.
This has been maybe the single worst month of my life so far so I'm going to disappear for the rest of it while I try to recover from my mental health being in shambles.