1,000,000 funny quotes

3. "Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"
 
5:Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
6:Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
7:There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
8:Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
 
11) "Oh, I was just thinking, before you came into my life, I never had the need for an emergency transvestite."
 
11. "Oh, so it does... oh you stole my lungs."
12. "I believe that everyone has one wish. I wish for another cheeseburger."
13. "I can't wait to forget something... ... ... ...What was I just talking about?"
14. Person 1: "I can't wait to eat this burger!
Person 2: "Yes you can."
Person 1: "Yeah, I guess you're right."
15. Person 1: "Did you eat my sandwich?"
Person 2: "I am your sandwich."
 
16. "I'm gonna have a hand sandwhich!" *bites hand which is between two slices of bread* "It tastes hurty..." - Ralph Wiggum
 
17. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
 
18) "Now, explain to me Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds. 'The girl with colitis goes by?' I always thought that was very distasteful."

19) "The years are passi