1,000,000 funny quotes

SKmarioman

King Bowser
1: "There's something on your face!" *punch* "It was pain!!"
 

Garlic Man

Name-change free since 2018
3. "Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"
 

SKmarioman

King Bowser
4: "You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?"
 

QuizmoManiac

a rhinestone cowboy
5:Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
6:Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
7:There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
8:Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
 

schmutz

welcome to the hotel waluigi
11) "Oh, I was just thinking, before you came into my life, I never had the need for an emergency transvestite."
 

SKmarioman

King Bowser
11. "Oh, so it does... oh you stole my lungs."
12. "I believe that everyone has one wish. I wish for another cheeseburger."
13. "I can't wait to forget something... ... ... ...What was I just talking about?"
14. Person 1: "I can't wait to eat this burger!
Person 2: "Yes you can."
Person 1: "Yeah, I guess you're right."
15. Person 1: "Did you eat my sandwich?"
Person 2: "I am your sandwich."
 

Puddin

eat the rich
16. "I'm gonna have a hand sandwhich!" *bites hand which is between two slices of bread* "It tastes hurty..." - Ralph Wiggum
 

Stooben Rooben

Star Spirit
Chat Administrator
Retired Wiki Staff
17. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
 

schmutz

welcome to the hotel waluigi
18) "Now, explain to me Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds. 'The girl with colitis goes by?' I always thought that was very distasteful."

19) "The years are passing me by! 27, 28, 29, 29, 29..."

20) "Let's put it this way. When you're 20, I'll be 40. When you're 30, I'll be 40. And when you're 40, you'll understand why I'm still 40."

21) "Relationships are like thighs. They start out smooth, then they get a little lumpy, but without them, you don't have a leg to stand on."

22) "Yes, Ma. If you want my honest opinion, I do think serving miniature franks at a bris is tasteless."
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
25. "No aliens were harmed in the making of this themepark. They were harmed AFTER it was created."
 

Garlic Man

Name-change free since 2018
Solar Blaze said:
23. "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAND!!!"
No. This one doesn't even count.



23. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
President Iwata said:
No. This one doesn't even count.
Wow. Since when did you become the ultimate authority on what counts or doesn't count in this topic?

28. (Yes, twenty-eight, since that's technically the correct number.)

"I lied when I said you could go. At least, partially lied, for I WILL let you go... TO ANOTHER DIEMENSION!!!"
 
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