1,000,000 funny quotes

Garlic Man

Name-change free since 2018
Pronouns
He/him
Solar Blaze said:
President Iwata said:
No. This one doesn't even count.
Wow. Since when did you become the ultimate authority on what counts or doesn't count in this topic?
Yesterday around 3:45 PM Eastern time.
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
Pronouns
He/him
Okay then. Whatever.

33. "Bulma, what happened!? It looks like your lips are bleeding! Are you okay!?"

"It's called LIPSTICK, you moron!"
 

SpinyMaster347

..and with that, pow! I'm gone
34. "Well, that's a lot better than we usually do, I gue-"
"Alright, Chums Up, Let's Do This LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEEEEENKINS!"
 

Ernest Fine 2.0

Dreamboat
Chat Operator
Retired Forum Mod
Retired Wiki Staff
Former 'Shroom Staff
Pronouns
He/him
35. "I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests..."
 

Mecha-Drago

THIS IS RIDICARUS
36. "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. I AM ERROR. PRESS ANY KEY TO RESTART. ...SYSTEM NOT FOUND. INSERT INSTALL DISC. DISC NOT FOUND. PLEASE CONFIRM DISC COVER IS CLOSED. READ ERROR. INSERT BOOT DISC AND PRESS ENTER. NO RESPONSE. SYSTEM MAY BE BUSY OR MELTING INTO SLAG. APPLICATION ERROR. SAVE YOUR WORK AND QUIT. YOU LOST EVERYTHING. WAY TO GO, GENIUS. WAITING FOR PROCESSORS. "404 computer hamsters not found." THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL 1. DETONATION IMMINENT. BEEBLEBLIP! C:/ run query identification C:/ run insult generator C:/ results: go away yeti-lip! CTRL ALT DEL!"
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
Pronouns
He/him
37. "Your lives that I spit on are now but a caricature of a cartoon drawn by a kid who is stupid!"

38. "A WINNER IS YOU!"

39. "I HAVE FAWFUL!"
 

SpinyMaster347

..and with that, pow! I'm gone
Dynamo Man said:
36. "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. I AM ERROR. PRESS ANY KEY TO RESTART. ...SYSTEM NOT FOUND. INSERT INSTALL DISC. DISC NOT FOUND. PLEASE CONFIRM DISC COVER IS CLOSED. READ ERROR. INSERT BOOT DISC AND PRESS ENTER. NO RESPONSE. SYSTEM MAY BE BUSY OR MELTING INTO SLAG. APPLICATION ERROR. SAVE YOUR WORK AND QUIT. YOU LOST EVERYTHING. WAY TO GO, GENIUS. WAITING FOR PROCESSORS. "404 computer hamsters not found." THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL 1. DETONATION IMMINENT. BEEBLEBLIP! C:/ run query identification C:/ run insult generator C:/ results: go away yeti-lip! CTRL ALT DEL!"
tl:dr

40.'Genie, why do you make everything so hard?' 'Hehe, I bet I dooo...'
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
Pronouns
He/him
41. "THE BADDLE HAZ JUSD BEGUNN!"

41. "JUST DIE, X! XXX! JUSDIE!"

42. "BWAHAHAHAHA! KID! I'LLSHOWYOUWHATATERRORISALLABOUT!"

43. "JUST DIE! ZERO! ZELLLLLOOOO!!!"
 

ShyGuy27

The Cardinal is dead -- long live The Cardinal!
Pronouns
He/him
Solar Blaze said:
32. "GAAACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!"
This is a quote of someone else finding something funny. Close, but not quite what the topic asked for.
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
Pronouns
He/him
I meant that the laugh itself was funny.

44. "GREAT-GALLOPIN' GULPITS!"

45. "Well, slap me 'n' call me Sassafras!"

46. "Back in the day, I had so many rump-kickin' moves, they had to make some illegal!"
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
Pronouns
He/him
Herr Shyguy said:
I know that's what you meant. It isn't.
Okay. Cool. You have your opinion, I have mine. Let's just leave it at that.

48. "You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, Sir Grodus, dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?"
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
Pronouns
He/him
52. "I HATE LOSING! How I gotta think of another excuse for Grodus!"
 

schmutz

welcome to the hotel waluigi
Pronouns
She/her
53) "Well, unless you expect candy to come flappin outta my tuchus, quit whacking me under the table!"
54) "Low impact does not necessarily mean not high-rise. Low impact is a term we in the architectural land development business use that has nothing to do with anything you could possibly imagine."
55) "If you don't mind me saying so, sir, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And, judging by the shirt you're wearing, I really don't think you're the arbiter of fine taste, sir."
56) Mistah Sheffield: "Now, repeat after me: Mark went on a lark after dark in Central Park."
Fran: "Gee, I hope he's got a gun."
 

SolarBlaze

Guardian of the Sol Emeralds.
Retired Wiki Staff
Pronouns
He/him
57. "Hey, Bass, why must I fight you!? We're not enemies!"

58. "You must wecuvaw all de enuhjee immedly, W...Mega Man!"

59. "Datz uh gud kreschun! We may be able to locay an uddah enuhjee emission fwom da waydaw woom. When we fine dat medeuh, we'll FINE DOGTAH WAHWEE!"
 

SKmaric

King Bowser
Pronouns
He/him
60. "Slip 'n' Bleed from the Anus they should have called this ride!"
61. "I didn't do it, I'm guilty!"
62. "If he refills his HP again he's gonna have well over 200 HP. IT'S OVER TWO HUNDRED!!" - chuggaaconroy.
63. "I like trains..." *train runs him over*
64. "Hey look Odie! A hairy monster is nesting under Jon's nose!" - Garfield
65. "Whatcha doin'?" "Eatin' chocolate" "Where'd ya get it?'' "A doggie dropped it!" - Greg Heffley and Rowley Jefferson
66. "In 2001, an Englishmen ate 76 yards of stringing nettles in an hour. THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE."
 
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