Good wishes aren't always good wishes

[UltraMario]

Granted, but I eat it.

I wish I was Mr. Burns.

 

[Magikrazy]

Granted, but you have every disease known to man, and several known to monkey.

I wish I had my turkey sandwich back, and I want to eat it.

 

[DragonFreak]

I wish to blow up, I mean get big.

*Smirk* Adventure Time reference.

Granted, but you have every disease known to man, and several known to monkey.

I wish I had my turkey sandwich back, and I want to eat it.

Granted, but in that wish, you didn't say it wasn't poisoned again, so it is, and you die.

 

[Magikrazy]

At least it was good. Since you didn't put a wish, I'll do one.

I wish everything I had x-ray vision.

 

[DragonFreak]

Darn, I didn't wish.

Ok, Granted, but you have to see through everything, the good, the awesome, and the emotionally-life-scarring.

I wish I had scales.

 

[Magikrazy]

Granted, but the scales cut everyone you embrace. Smooth move, Edward Scissorhands.

I wish I had an indestructible DVD of every good show there ever was, ever.

 

[DragonFreak]

Granted, but you watch it for the rest of your life and you die of super obesity. Plus, your electric bill is the highest in the whole world from non-stop TV watching.

I wish knives were harmless.

 

[Magikrazy]

Granted, the blades have been removed, making it impossible to cut meat. You kept the elderly from eating and they all died.

I wish I had a hat and a corndog.

 

[User4042]

Granted but the corndog is a dog made out of corn.

I wish for apples.

 

[DragonFreak]

Granted, but you either choke on them, or fall asleep until Prince Charming kisses you, whichever one would be more painful.
....................................................

I wish for a theory.

 

[Magikrazy]

Granted, you get the Grandfather Theory. That means you go back in time, kill your grandfather and cease to exist.

I wish I had a box

 

[User4042]

Granted, it is an empty box

I wish for Applejack