Good wishes aren't always good wishes

Granted, but there happens to be a store called "Any Store." It sells crappy stuff.

I wish that package I've been waiting for would came already.
 
Granted, but the package contains a bomb set to explode in five seconds.

I wish I would stop vomiting.
 
Granted. You instead start pooing

I wish Mario’s generation was the last of the human kids in the series. (No Mario Jr.)
 
Granted but you you behave like a human but not exactly

I wish I am already level 12 on Farmville
 
Granted, but you have lost all IRL friends for playing FarmVille.

I wish I had the Super Mario Galaxy soundtrack.
 
Not granted for a change.

I wish I could always grant wishes.
 
Granted. But it comes back every time you cough.

I wish the kind of people who post comments on kotaku.com weren’t so perverted. It’s starting to piss me off.
 
Granted, everyone forms a mob and kills you for turning everything into an over used joke.

I wish some of these responses were alot better.
 
The responses become too good, so they form an army and enslave the human race.

I wish I hadn't broken my tooth.
 
Granted but you fall off a building and break every bone in your body...then your tooth falls down a sewer grate and gets eaten by a crocodile but can't be digested due to the magic of this wish so it stays in the crocodile's stomach for all of eternity.

I wish for a baby crocodile :D
 
Granted. When it grows into an adult, it eats you for lunch.

I wish I could go on vacation to Europe.
 
Granted. A nice parcel service suddenly decides to send you over to Europe for free. But here's the catch: The boxes are too small for you, so they have to send you in two parts.

Ok, uhm.... I wish for a nice and human way of dying.
 
Granted. The person that gives you the torture machine shoves you inside of it.

I wish I had black hair.
 
Granted, you suddenly grow full black hair, but unfortunately it grows out of your nose.

I wish I had a nice fridge that also would never fall on top of me or something like that.
 
Granted. You get electrocuted when you plug it in.

I wish I had a flying gerbil.
 
Granted, but environmentalists accuse you of illegal genetic engineering and you get thrown into jail, where you spend the rest of your days with your cell mate Herbert.

I wish I had really, really stylish pants.
 
Granted. They're so stylish that someone steals them from you in a mugging.

I wish I had some strawberry milk.
 
Granted, but you forgot I also have a wish.

I wish I had MG1's chocolate milk

EDIT: And yes, I saw the fridge wish oO
 
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