Favorite TV Quotes

Hun: That mutagen turned me into the last thing I touched! MUTANT TURTLE FILTH!
1980 Raphael: Its not true, we shower regularly.

Hun: Do you know what I hate most in all the world? Turtles! Now I look in the mirror, all I see is you! And I hate you even more!
1980 Raphael: Some people just can't handle change.
Hun: (looks at the fourth wall) Why do you keep doing that?! Who are you talking to? There's no one there!
~Turtles Forever

Bull E., Baby-Shredder, Dr. Crocktopus (AKA Francis, Vicky, and Mr. Crocker): The Crimson Chin?!
"Crimson" Chin: Wrong! (reveals his costume to be black and the anti-chin symbol appears on his chin)
Crocker: No, its the Nega-Chin, the Crimson Chin's arch-enemy.
Vicky: How'd you know that?
Crocker: I've confiscated a lot of comic books in my time.

Vicky: ONE MEASLEY WISH?! Wait a minute, I'm greedy and evil. I wish for a million more wishes.
~Fairly Odd Parents
 
In a Spongebob episode I saw a while back, Spongebob and Patrick have a staring contest. After Spongebob blinks and loses, he compliments Patrick by saying he's the best starer ever. Patrick replies by saying something like "I thought we were having a blinking contest and I was losing."

I actually thought it was funny.
 
The meeting of Deaf Phoebe, Mute Paige and Blind Piper:
Phoebe: *Paige is walking behind her* Hello? Oh... Anyone? Hello!
Paige: *Throws her purse at the vase, it breaks but Phoebe still don't hears it, and she orbs infront of her*
Phoebe: Oh!
Paige: *Moves her mouth*
Phoebe: I LOST MY HEARING IN THE BIGGEST MEANING OF MY LIFE, I CAN'T HEAR A THING
Paige: *Makes sings with her hands telling her to slow down the volume of her voice*
Phoebe: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU *Paige do the same thing, she understands* Oh, ok, I need your help, magic has got to be --- us
Paige *Put a WTF face, then starts to do a monkey thingy*
Phoebe: What you're doing?
Paige: *Keeps fake scratch as a monkey*
Phoebe: Oh, I get it? I get it, you riddle
Paige: *Signs her, she's right... keeps the monkey thing*
Phoebe: You're a monkey...
Paige: *Keeps with the monkey thing, Phoebe's right*
Phoebe: Ok, you're a monkey *Paige does angry faces* Uh, You're a angry monkey... Uh You're pissed, you're... PMS monkey?
Paige *WTF face, Phoebe laughs*
Phoebe: No, no, of course not... *Paige makes a hand sign made ball, Phoebe almost ews* Ball?
Paige: *Keeps with the sign, the ball is thrown, something explodes*
Phoebe: Fire ball! *Paige signs she's right, repeats everything faster* A demon monkey stole my hearing! *She's right, Paige points out she's mute* And your voice too, oh, honey... *hugs her, Piper and Leo orb in, Paige points out something*
Phoebe: You hear something? *Paige points out voices* You hear puppets?

It goes on here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmLl1rvt55s
 
"That bald head was bouncing around like a cue ball!"

~Vegeta, Dragon Ball Z (Ocean dub)
 
Father Maxi: I haven't seen you boys in church lately.
Kyle: Well, I'm Jewish, so...
Father Maxi: You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you?
Kyle: Hm, I guess not.

~South Park
 
Fran: "Would you just look at this picture! Now everybody in New York City thinks that I'm a jinx! But on the upside, I tell ya, I look twenty-five, tops. Gotta remember this photographer for when I get married.
Sylvia: "Honey, no one believes you're a jinx."
Fran: "You're taking this awfully well. I'da thought you'd be more upset about that I got dumped on national TV by one of the most eligible bachelors in New York."
Sylvia: "I know, honey, that's why I'm heavily sedated." ~The Nanny
 
Lenny: No!
Homer: D'oh!
Carl: Nuts!
Mr. Burns: Exactly

Pie: Hey Homer! Throw me at Mr. Burns!
Elderly Pie: No throw me! I'm old and stale, I just might kill him.
Cake: Don't do it Homer! You promised Lisa!
Homer: Since when do I listen to cakes?!
~The Simpsons
 
Fran: "Go put some makeup on."
Maggie: "It is on!"
Fran: "Well go put some more on! Ya taking pictures next to my family; ya gonna disappear next to the cast of Ringling Bros.!" ~The Nanny
 
Timmy: I wish you guys would stay here and guard this computer no matter what. Got it?
Cosmo and Wanda: Got it! (wave their wands and POOF! but nothing happens)
Timmy: Did you really need to wave your wands for that one?
Cosmo and Wanda: Uh, no.
~The Fairly Odd Parents

Numbuh 3: I wish Numbuh 5 was here.
Numbuh 5: Oh I'm here all right!
Numbuh 3: Numbuh 5! You better start using some mosturizer or something, try my Rainbow Monkey sunscreen.
Numbuh 4: Listen Numbuh 5, I don't want to fight you.
Numbuh 5: Of course you don't. Cause you're the weakest, shortest, dumbest most chicken big-mouth squirt on the entire team!
Numbuh 4: Okay, now I wanna fight you! (tries shooting gumballs but realizes he wasted all his ammo) Oh crud!
(Later)
Numbuh 4: Kuki, I'm scared, I don't what to do next.
Numbuh 3: Kiss me.
Numbuh 4: Kiss you?! No way! NONONONONO No way un uh ain't gonna hap- ok.
NUmbuh 3: Pucker up. (lights come on revealing her to be a zombie)
Numbuh 4: O.O AHHHHHH!!!
(Later)
Numbuh 2: Numbuh 3! Numbuh 4! Do you have the frequency modulator-a-bob?
Numbuh 3: We found something even better! Each other! (Numbuhs 3 and 4 kiss while they're zombies)
Numbuh 362: End Transmission please!
~Kids Next Door