Advice Column

Sir Pentious

I have a problem
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
InsaneBlathers
Give people funny advice for their problems.

Dear advice column: The dark moon has split and all the ghosts are acting crazy! Help!
 
Get some tape and put the ghosts in time out.

Dear advice column: Wah! I need $7,000 dollars to buy a huge garlic burrito! How do I earn that? WAH!
 
Buy a garlic burrito and sell it to get $7,000

Dear advice column: My wife left me and took the kids. I miss them and want them to come back. How should I do this?
 
Buy a garlic burrito and sell it to get $7,000

Dear advice column: My wife left me and took the kids. I miss them and want them to come back. How should I do this?
Invent a time machine and go back to when you had a wife.

Dear advice column: How do I order a movie off of Prime?
 
It's called a Potatwa.

Dear advice column: Link won't stop smashing my pots, please send help.
Get some unbreakable pots.

Dear advice column: Wah! Hi, it's me again. I tried selling my burrito on IBUY but no one wants it! WAH!
 
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